N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,995
xD
Yeah I was manic and I blame the megalomania for it. I can remember my teacher in civics said something like you are not good enough for it. She was right without a doubt. But I think I did not say chancellor to her I only said high politican.
Many people did not take me serous. This kind of hurt me. I was bullied a lot because of my weight. In a very short time I lost huge amount of weight. Many were impressed. I think the main reason for it was my manic epsiode which started at a young age. This is by the way very uncommon that you have one at this early age. I just think I am very ill. If we had to measure it I think I am a very severe case.
I had no idea what polticians really had to do. Drinking huge amounts of beer at group of regulars. Being socially skilled. All the hypocrisy and lies. I would have despised it. Moreover I never was interested in communal politics. And this is how you usually starts.
I watched a little bit too much House of Cards as a teenager. LMAO.
I made this joke in front of some psychology students in the psych ward. I had to explain them my life /condition when I was at the psych ward. To that time I was extremely depressed/suicidal and had extreme psychosomatic pain. They all were utterly shocked when I explained them my life, my suicidality and my story in general. I dropped some jokes. A lot of dark humor. Something like yeah as a teenager I had a little bit of a different notion about my future life.
I think a career with my illness is impossible. (At least in my case.) My first therapist said this immediately. Though there were some high politicians with mental illnesses.
Winston Churchill either depression or bipolar.
Otto von Bismarck - allegedly bipolar
Willy Brandt (former German chancellor) depression
Though I think nowadays it is completely different. This is at least what I have read. In the past high politicans had more free time. Willy Brandt sometimes could not leave his bed allegedly. Today it was fully impossible to do this as chancellor.
At least I am sane enough not to pursue this aim anymore. It would be a miracle if I could avoid unemployment for the rest of my life. My aims slightly have changed over time.
I was some years ago again in a clinic. There was a dude with huge mental problems. I am not sure which condition he had. But he was really weird. He was like 40 years old and told everyone that he pursues the goal to become chancellor of Germany. He emphasized that he means it very seriously, he was not joking. Damn this dude had a girlfriend why can't I have one???
He explained me his mental torment started when his former girlfriend committed suicide 20 years ago. Yeah and this dude was a complete wreck. He had a supervision forced by a judge. He could not freely decide about his money. He wanted to start a new life and move to the capital to pursue his goal.
This dude is one reason why I try to keep a certain distance to the members of this forum. If something like that can happen if someone close of you commits suicide I am warned.
What do you think about it? Maybe you also had an unrealistic goal before the real nightmare started?
Yeah I was manic and I blame the megalomania for it. I can remember my teacher in civics said something like you are not good enough for it. She was right without a doubt. But I think I did not say chancellor to her I only said high politican.
Many people did not take me serous. This kind of hurt me. I was bullied a lot because of my weight. In a very short time I lost huge amount of weight. Many were impressed. I think the main reason for it was my manic epsiode which started at a young age. This is by the way very uncommon that you have one at this early age. I just think I am very ill. If we had to measure it I think I am a very severe case.
I had no idea what polticians really had to do. Drinking huge amounts of beer at group of regulars. Being socially skilled. All the hypocrisy and lies. I would have despised it. Moreover I never was interested in communal politics. And this is how you usually starts.
I watched a little bit too much House of Cards as a teenager. LMAO.
I made this joke in front of some psychology students in the psych ward. I had to explain them my life /condition when I was at the psych ward. To that time I was extremely depressed/suicidal and had extreme psychosomatic pain. They all were utterly shocked when I explained them my life, my suicidality and my story in general. I dropped some jokes. A lot of dark humor. Something like yeah as a teenager I had a little bit of a different notion about my future life.
I think a career with my illness is impossible. (At least in my case.) My first therapist said this immediately. Though there were some high politicians with mental illnesses.
Winston Churchill either depression or bipolar.
Otto von Bismarck - allegedly bipolar
Willy Brandt (former German chancellor) depression
Though I think nowadays it is completely different. This is at least what I have read. In the past high politicans had more free time. Willy Brandt sometimes could not leave his bed allegedly. Today it was fully impossible to do this as chancellor.
At least I am sane enough not to pursue this aim anymore. It would be a miracle if I could avoid unemployment for the rest of my life. My aims slightly have changed over time.
I was some years ago again in a clinic. There was a dude with huge mental problems. I am not sure which condition he had. But he was really weird. He was like 40 years old and told everyone that he pursues the goal to become chancellor of Germany. He emphasized that he means it very seriously, he was not joking. Damn this dude had a girlfriend why can't I have one???
He explained me his mental torment started when his former girlfriend committed suicide 20 years ago. Yeah and this dude was a complete wreck. He had a supervision forced by a judge. He could not freely decide about his money. He wanted to start a new life and move to the capital to pursue his goal.
This dude is one reason why I try to keep a certain distance to the members of this forum. If something like that can happen if someone close of you commits suicide I am warned.
What do you think about it? Maybe you also had an unrealistic goal before the real nightmare started?