To be half-dead and not dead is extremely terrifying. I am constantly wandering between the two, and what's saddest is that, up until now, the 'not dead' part still outweighs the 'dead' part; otherwise, I wouldn't still be here, would I?
Sometimes I think, many people are in worse states than me, yet they are alive, aren't they? Sometimes I think, but there are also many others whose lives are far better than mine, aren't they?
Frequently, I feel like I'm in an ocean with no point of reference. I unconsciously rely on external judgments to determine my place, but I know that's wrong. When I realize this, I end up in the state I'm in now—or rather, in what I think is a more stable state. Don't worry about yourself, and don't worry about others. Just the existence of consciousness.
I'm still in the process of understanding my own life, my consciousness, and the direction of my current results. Unfortunately, I feel that this is almost coming to an end. I feel like I'm nearing the end of this path. It's hard for me to predict what I'll do. Because in different states, I seem like a different person.
Regarding the ship of Theseus, I truly believe that from beginning to end, there was never a time when that ship was the original one. Those who claim it's the same ship refuse to face their own thoughts about themselves. Just like Camus said that we must consider Sisyphus as happy, this is essentially an evasion of the problem.
I've already become somewhat unable to recognize myself. Everything feels like a dream. I drift from one bubble of meaning to another in a world of meaninglessness. When the bubble is popped, an indescribable assault hits me. Meaninglessness envelops me.
I've constructed my logic, and it has always protected me, but at the same time, it binds me. Most of the time, I feel like a robot. Many people say this, and I think so too. Talking to others is extremely difficult for me; there's too much to think about. But when I try to let go of thinking as much as possible, even more problems follow.
I can't understand how to be a person. It's absurd, but this has already happened, either now or a long time ago.
Even I feel like these texts are a part of my emotional release. As for these abstract words, my understanding of them is starting to blur. It's really hard to distinguish them. Everyone's definition is different, isn't it?
I feel like others' perception of me might be quite distorted, because I've been changing rapidly, especially recently
Sometimes I think, many people are in worse states than me, yet they are alive, aren't they? Sometimes I think, but there are also many others whose lives are far better than mine, aren't they?
Frequently, I feel like I'm in an ocean with no point of reference. I unconsciously rely on external judgments to determine my place, but I know that's wrong. When I realize this, I end up in the state I'm in now—or rather, in what I think is a more stable state. Don't worry about yourself, and don't worry about others. Just the existence of consciousness.
I'm still in the process of understanding my own life, my consciousness, and the direction of my current results. Unfortunately, I feel that this is almost coming to an end. I feel like I'm nearing the end of this path. It's hard for me to predict what I'll do. Because in different states, I seem like a different person.
Regarding the ship of Theseus, I truly believe that from beginning to end, there was never a time when that ship was the original one. Those who claim it's the same ship refuse to face their own thoughts about themselves. Just like Camus said that we must consider Sisyphus as happy, this is essentially an evasion of the problem.
I've already become somewhat unable to recognize myself. Everything feels like a dream. I drift from one bubble of meaning to another in a world of meaninglessness. When the bubble is popped, an indescribable assault hits me. Meaninglessness envelops me.
I've constructed my logic, and it has always protected me, but at the same time, it binds me. Most of the time, I feel like a robot. Many people say this, and I think so too. Talking to others is extremely difficult for me; there's too much to think about. But when I try to let go of thinking as much as possible, even more problems follow.
I can't understand how to be a person. It's absurd, but this has already happened, either now or a long time ago.
Even I feel like these texts are a part of my emotional release. As for these abstract words, my understanding of them is starting to blur. It's really hard to distinguish them. Everyone's definition is different, isn't it?
I feel like others' perception of me might be quite distorted, because I've been changing rapidly, especially recently
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