KillingPain267
Paragon
- Apr 15, 2024
- 934
In fact, even watching gore cartel videos I envy the victims when they finally look dead after a few minutes of torture.
Yes, but I feel like being tortured mentally for most of the day. I cry 2-3 hours and the rest of the day have an urge to cry which feels like all my nerves are being roasted. Then I get a headache from all the tears in the evening which makes me focus on that instead (and actually I am starting to sh with knife and nails also to try to escape the mental pain). Then I fall asleep exhausted. The next morning every morning when I become conscious again I feel a sense of hopelessness and start again crying or trying to fall back to unconsciousness in sleep. It's been months now like that. There is no cartel rival finally putting bullets in my head after 10 minutes of torture (I have rarely seen a video longer than that; the victim never lasts long no matter how creative). So I find cartel gangs more merciful than the society I live in where I am not allowed legally to ctb at all and they actively prevent me from stopping the suffering. Even drugs like benzos or opioids that really actually calm me are denied to me. I know the victims were not happy, but when they got the bullet or their head was finally severed, at least all was over. I do not have such end in 10-30 minutes to look forward to.I don't think these people were happy ;).
Torture is a very unpleasant thing.
You can do very creative and VERY painful things with the human body and mind.
Yes, I know that. They basically reaped what they have sown. Lol. "for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword." (Matthew 26:52)By the way, the "victims" of cartels very often belong to the same world.
They just play a different role this time.
This can be called the life cycle of a cartel member.
Sometimes you torture, sometimes you are tortured ;).
I write from my perspective.Yes, but I feel like being tortured mentally for most of the day. I cry 2-3 hours and the rest of the day have an urge to cry which feels like all my nerves are being roasted. Then I get a headache from all the tears in the evening which makes me focus on that instead (and actually I am starting to sh with knife and nails also to try to escape the mental pain). Then I fall asleep exhausted. The next morning every morning when I become conscious again I feel a sense of hopelessness and start again crying or trying to fall back to unconsciousness in sleep. It's been months now like that. There is no cartel rival finally putting bullets in my head after 10 minutes of torture (I have rarely seen a video longer than that; the victim never lasts long no matter how creative). So I find cartel gangs more merciful than the society I live in where I am not allowed legally to ctb at all and they actively prevent me from stopping the suffering. Even drugs like benzos or opioids that really actually calm me are denied to me. I know the victims were not happy, but when they got the bullet or their head was finally severed, at least all was over. I do not have such end in 10-30 minutes to look forward to.
Yes, I know that. They basically reaped what they have sown. Lol. "for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword." (Matthew 26:52)