TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,706
When did you realize and decide that your social life was beyond repair and a lost cause? Before you answer, I'll give a brief story of my social life.
I was born with Aspergers and had social anxiety growing up. I wasn't officially diagnosed with Aspergers until my late teens, like age 16 or so. While growing up, I often didn't have many friends, just mere acquaintances and while some people hung out with me, none of them really made any close relationships barring maybe a few (family friends or so). They hung out with me only out of pity, hence it wasn't really a genuine relationship. When I was in middle school and even the early part of high school, I was severely bullied by people. The people I thought were my friends only ridiculed me. I considered suicide and what not for the first time. Things did not get better and ironically, middle school and high school were the critical time for developing social skills. Near the end of high school, the bullying (especially overt bullying) was over, but my social skills was always fucked.
Fast forward to college, I never really connected to people, no one really hung out with me nor made any meaningful relationships and I was oftenly isolated and lonely. I could basically disappear and no one would really bat an eye (maybe roommates but that was about it). During college, I've realized that I was fucked socially and there was simply just no way for me to catch up so I've sorta just officially gave up on trying to improve as it was really hopeless. Aspergers won't likely go away. I'm not going to magically just catch up to the norm and the appropriate social skills, and I'll always be behind. It simply just isn't worth the effort and time to waste in such a pointless endeavor. (Plus, suppose that I magically succeeded, the rewards still SUCK and isn't worth it imho.)
Mini rant:
The sad thing is throughout my life and even to present day, people often assume that nothing is ever hopeless (fucking delusional people) including gaining the necessary social skills to have a successful social life like most people. The sad thing is that my parents, especially my father and my sister keeps holding on to this notion that there is always hope, it is never to late, but they're really ignorant of my situation. The same goes with the people that I am around even present day; it really is a fucking joke. Oh and I forgot to add, most people in society (like the normies and such) are not genuine, virtue signal, and spew platitudes, downplay/dismiss my grievances as non-important, so I don't miss them at all.
I only ever maintain a facade of being a normal person (often failing as people can easy sniff it out like a shark sniffing blood) just so people would not get suspicious and decide to intrude on my life (or my plans to ctb).
With all that said, when did you realize that your social life was nonexistent or it's already too late, and decide to give up bettering it?
I was born with Aspergers and had social anxiety growing up. I wasn't officially diagnosed with Aspergers until my late teens, like age 16 or so. While growing up, I often didn't have many friends, just mere acquaintances and while some people hung out with me, none of them really made any close relationships barring maybe a few (family friends or so). They hung out with me only out of pity, hence it wasn't really a genuine relationship. When I was in middle school and even the early part of high school, I was severely bullied by people. The people I thought were my friends only ridiculed me. I considered suicide and what not for the first time. Things did not get better and ironically, middle school and high school were the critical time for developing social skills. Near the end of high school, the bullying (especially overt bullying) was over, but my social skills was always fucked.
Fast forward to college, I never really connected to people, no one really hung out with me nor made any meaningful relationships and I was oftenly isolated and lonely. I could basically disappear and no one would really bat an eye (maybe roommates but that was about it). During college, I've realized that I was fucked socially and there was simply just no way for me to catch up so I've sorta just officially gave up on trying to improve as it was really hopeless. Aspergers won't likely go away. I'm not going to magically just catch up to the norm and the appropriate social skills, and I'll always be behind. It simply just isn't worth the effort and time to waste in such a pointless endeavor. (Plus, suppose that I magically succeeded, the rewards still SUCK and isn't worth it imho.)
Mini rant:
The sad thing is throughout my life and even to present day, people often assume that nothing is ever hopeless (fucking delusional people) including gaining the necessary social skills to have a successful social life like most people. The sad thing is that my parents, especially my father and my sister keeps holding on to this notion that there is always hope, it is never to late, but they're really ignorant of my situation. The same goes with the people that I am around even present day; it really is a fucking joke. Oh and I forgot to add, most people in society (like the normies and such) are not genuine, virtue signal, and spew platitudes, downplay/dismiss my grievances as non-important, so I don't miss them at all.
I only ever maintain a facade of being a normal person (often failing as people can easy sniff it out like a shark sniffing blood) just so people would not get suspicious and decide to intrude on my life (or my plans to ctb).
With all that said, when did you realize that your social life was nonexistent or it's already too late, and decide to give up bettering it?
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