Discussion When a member leaves SS

[ManWithNoName]

I am curious about members who leave SS and more specifically, the way they leave and why.

Some make the announcement that they are going to ctb and shortly after their name is grayed-out. There are those who gray-out themselves i.e. self-ban.

Then there are others who simply logout and are never heard from again. We do not know if they cbt'd or not.

What are the advantages / disadvantages of all three of these?

 

[Darkhaven]

I don't think there any associated advantages or disadvantages.
It's up to personal preference.
The only difference is the assumptions other members will make.
If you announce that you will commit suicide some people may assume you really did it, other's dont. Same thing for the self ban.
If you just stop logging in then it leaves the door open for all kinds of interpretations.
In the end it's really relevant, IMO.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Advantages of the second two: Because it's no one's damn business. That is, enjoying one's right to privacy, to self-determination, and to the choice to participate and to leave as they choose.

 

[AlreadyGone]

No one needs to provide an explanation or justify why they leave the forum. It is their own prerogative and we do not need to know why.

 

[nitrogen]

The members who've left the forum or CTBed tend to be the ones I enjoyed e-companionship with the most. A member who I've been chatting with in PM CTBed last week. She didn't self-ban and I won't reveal her identity. So to other members, she just abandoned the site. I still message her - part of me hopes she succeeded and found the peace she wanted; part of me hopes I miraculously get a reply from her.

 

[faust]

Yes, that's what I think about sometimes. I don't know what to do with this account when I leave. Well, at this very moment I think it is a better idea to self-ban, another day I may think there is no need to self-ban. Technically, it will be easier for everybody else who want to contact me if I self-ban just because they won't spend time messaging the person who is already gone.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Every one has their own personal reasons for doing what they do. It is none of our business though, we don't know truely who is behind a name, we don't know if what they post here is true.
What does it matter why people leave, some people ctb, some people leave due to choosing recovery, some are prob trolls or pro lifers bored, the list of reasons is endless. But in reality who cares?

 

[LastFlowers]

Well if you change your mind, you won't have to beg to come back, that is if you simply log off and never log back on.

 

[ManWithNoName]

Well if you change your mind, you won't have to beg to come back, that is if you simply log off and never log back on.

That was one of the first things that came to my mind with regards to the question of whether or not to self ban.

 

[ManWithNoName]

But in reality who cares?

Of course it doesn't matter one way or another, I was just curious and what advantages / disadvantages there are in the way one leaves SS.

 

[Giraffey]

I haven't interacted with a great many people here and so I'm not particularly well known or notable in any way. But I went inactive for a couple of months recently having spoken of a serious intent to CTB. There were a couple of people who thought I had succeeded, I had no intention to mislead anyone. I suffered a heart attack and then developed a fainting condition which led to me being closely supervised by my family as I kept falling and injuring myself. That made coming onto SS extremely difficult until the restrictions eased up.

So I guess you never really know what happens to people. Had I not come back then from the outside it would probably have looked as though I'd CTB. Someone could have reported that I'd CTB due to me voicing my intention before I disappeared and my name could have been greyed out. The nature of our relationships to one another through this forum is that we may never know for sure what becomes of our online friends and acquaintances.

I guess that's comforting in a way - we can hope for whatever we wish, a Schrodinger-like scenario. We can hope that they found peace and are happy and yet still retain that hope and wish that they will reach out to us again. In another sense, the lack of closure is troubling, but still, I always like to think the best and imagine those who disappear have found peace one way or another, whether in this life or the next.