Venting what's the point of reaching out when you will not be appreciated anyway..

[Bitterman1996]

I wanted to change and be that person who reached out first..
as sometimes I felt lonely for being excluded by "friends" or people who knows me personally.

at this point I'm so hurt by this one friend, which I know they are afflicted by depression as well. but if you are not interested nor doesn't want to initiate or nurture our relationship then just say that.. I tried asking them if they were interested to some event, initially they just say they are interested but then cancelled on me on last minute. it's obvious how much they dont care it's almost insulting.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hi, I've been on the other then of that. I can't excuse his or my behavior, I can empathize. With you too. Sometimes I didn't have the energy to have a conversation, to reach out, to reply even. I'd promise myself and them I'll get out and meet them, then felt overwhelmed and cancelled or, in absolute bitch fashion, ghosted.
It's not necessarely about not wanting or caring for that relationship, don't know his case but, sometimes you want to but can't bring yourself to do so. Exhaustion. Depression does that shit. It feels insulting for the other person, they are justified in feeling so, they are actions and inactions that hurt. And at some point you can even begin to think they'd be better off without you, and intermittenly start actively sabotaging the relationship. I could write a manual for that.
It's not pretty for any party involved. It's a common product of mental illness and relationships. There is not a correct way of dealing with it, you have to put yourself first and if you want/can, be there for them at their lowest... give space for both of you. If you also deal with depression and exclusion you probably sadly know some of this all too well.
these are just general outlines based on my experience. there are friends who are just dicks. you judge for yourself based on your situation. but most of all I feel you. Changing is hard when others are stuck. hugs to you <3