What’s the best way to fade without making your family panic over it ?

[Mmjj219]

I have no one in my life that know me and would ask about me except the 5 members of my family, not that they really care about me specifically but because of stigma and panic in general.

I no longer live with them, so whats the best way ? Convince my brother that I no longer wanna live and tell him to lie about me still living, or I could find someone else to do this if my brother wasnt reliable enough.

is there any better way ?

my mom hates me but she can't handle any death tragedy at all, like really at all, not because of me exactly but any death in general and i remember she panicked over some random people death more than their family members themselves in their funeral that she had to leave because she can't take it.

so this makes it more complicated

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

So the main issues are stigma and panic.

These are things completely outside of your control. There is no best way, because you cannot influence it. The stigma already exists, and they already panic.

My perspective is that it's less crazy-making and stressful if I accept what I cannot control, and focus on what I can -- myself.

A personal example: My parents and I have been estranged for several years. I wanted to leave instructions for my parents as next of kin to make things easier for them. Then I realized that they will do whatever they choose. If I tell them what will make things easier, they may react by doing the opposite. I found peace when I recognized and accepted this. I stopped focusing on them and instead focused on what is best for me. I'll let them do whatever they're going to do without interfering or trying to influence their actions, and I am much more peaceful.

 

[Epsilon0]

@GoodPersonEffed

I found peace when I recognized and accepted this. I stopped focusing on them and instead focused on what is best for me. I'll let them do whatever they're going to do without interfering or trying to influence their actions, and I am much more peaceful.


We are in complete accord. I also will let my family do whatever they think best, when (if?) I go ahead and ctb.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

Agreed above.

All possibilities result in the same conclusion in respects; devastation. The primary road along all of these, is that you'd be gone. Whether declared missing, faking your death, etc. And being gone would possibly lead to sadness by itself. She's her own agent.

Fake your death: You're gone
Declared missing: You're gone
As soon as someone tells her you're gone, she may suffer from panic irregardless. You know your mother better than any of us, how do you suppose she'd react to the aforementioned possibilities? If she'd truly not care about you in any respects aside from in clear death, then you could perhaps pursue becoming "missing." But all of the concoctions are very much unneeded, and impractical IMHO. This would then have to affect your ctb plans additionally. Shotgun blasts aren't very, "subtle", so forth.

 

[Suez]

I have no one in my life that know me and would ask about me except the 5 members of my family, not that they really care about me specifically but because of stigma and panic in general.

I no longer live with them, so whats the best way ? Convince my brother that I no longer wanna live and tell him to lie about me still living, or I could find someone else to do this if my brother wasnt reliable enough.

is there any better way ?

my mom hates me but she can't handle any death tragedy at all, like really at all, not because of me exactly but any death in general and i remember she panicked over some random people death more than their family members themselves in their funeral that she had to leave because she can't take it.

so this makes it more complicated

I would not ask your brother to be complicit in anything to do with your suicide. I dont think its fair to put something like this on him and expect him to lie and then live with this knowledge after you do something to yourself. That s a big ask of anyone, let alone your brother. If your able to talk with your brother about a topic like suicide, why dont you talk to him about whats going on in your head. Sometimes its good to talk with someone about this stuff and if your brother is the type of person that is good at listening, why not?

 

[Mr2005]

I have no one in my life that know me and would ask about me except the 5 members of my family, not that they really care about me specifically but because of stigma and panic in general.

I no longer live with them, so whats the best way ? Convince my brother that I no longer wanna live and tell him to lie about me still living, or I could find someone else to do this if my brother wasnt reliable enough.

is there any better way ?

my mom hates me but she can't handle any death tragedy at all, like really at all, not because of me exactly but any death in general and i remember she panicked over some random people death more than their family members themselves in their funeral that she had to leave because she can't take it.

so this makes it more complicated

Your mum sounds like me. Just stop seeing them. That's what I've done