Discussion What's something you regret doing because you thought you'd CTB sooner?

[scary]

One of the main things for me is getting rid of a lot of my belongings, my drawings especially.

I've been making art ever since I could hold a pencil and had years worth of it, both physical and digital. I somewhat recently moved states and had nowhere to put them really, but I also figured "I'll be dead anyway, what's the point in keeping all of this?" and now I kind of regret it. I don't really draw anymore because again, what's the point, but as a kid I had dreams of working in a studio and making animated shows of my own. I really miss having goals like that, being somewhat hopeful and wanting to do something with my life, but even back then deep down I knew I wouldn't have a future.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's more the other way around for me. It's either reached the stage where I've had to replace things- my phone recently, or, I simply don't want to bother getting them fixed because I want to be gone. I really hoped my phone in particular would last me out. I may end up having to pay £100's left on this one if I'm able to go soon. (Waiting for my Dad to go first.) Not that it matters enormously- it's not like you can take money with you when you go but, it feels like a waste.

I suppose because I don't know when I can go, I'm keeping the bare minimum running life- wise. I've asked my Solicitor to hire a clearance company when I go so, I'm not worried so much about leaving stuff to get rid of.

Did you throw your drawings away or, did you give them to people? Maybe you could ask them to take pictures of them- and send them digitally. If you wanted to refer to them. It's a shame you've lost your passion to draw.

 

[sadgirlallonherownn]

Dropping out of school, never doing anything for my future, never taking any steps, ignoring job interviews, cooping myself up in my room in complete darkness for 24h a day and so much more (in my mind "I dont need to do anything ill be dead anyway") but now 8 years later Im 20, somehow still alive and truly regretting the things I never did (which really badly impacts my mental health and will to live) if I could change those things Id def do it but Im not sure if itd even help me now, but I regret it regardless

 

[scary]

Dropping out of school, never doing anything for my future, never taking any steps, ignoring job interviews, cooping myself up in my room in complete darkness for 24h a day and so much more (in my mind "I dont need to do anything ill be dead anyway") but now 8 years later Im 20, somehow still alive and truly regretting the things I never did (which really badly impacts my mental health and will to live) if I could change those things Id def do it but Im not sure if itd even help me now, but I regret it regardless

As someone who also dropped out of school and is now 20 years old, I feel you. I also spend most of my time just cooped up in a dark room. I don't think me trying to "fix" myself would help me either, I'm pretty much beyond "saving" anyway. But you sure as hell aren't alone in all of these feelings.

Did you throw your drawings away or, did you give them to people? Maybe you could ask them to take pictures of them- and send them digitally. If you wanted to refer to them. It's a shame you've lost your passion to draw.

I threw them away. And thanks, it really is. I've also been told by some people back in elementary school during the talent show that I was somewhat good at singing, though honestly I don't believe it lol. I also kind of lost that ability due to me basically becoming mute due to autism and being made to feel like I was annoying and lesser than everyone else.