Discussion What's going on in your mind right now ?

[Painless_end]

What's going on, how do you feel ?

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Life is difficult, hope you find peace.

 

[Hotsackage]

Hopefully death is near

 

[unperson]

The prospect of lying and putting up a facade to be capable of pursuing financial success

 

[time4sleep]

Knowing that tonight could very well be the last night on this earth.

 

[noxin]

Those so-called friends of mine can get f'd. And if I'm feeling this angry then I'm not drunk enough.

 

[http-410]

I'm having constant emotional pain and suicidal ideation. Always, everywhere, no matter what I do.

Nothing relieves the pressure anymore. Neither writing, nor the crisis hotline. Therapy is failing.

Everything is getting worse and worse.

I'm even tired of venting here, it's always my same whining.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel tired of existing, same as usual, wishing I could just sleep.

 

[Canon1]

I see no possibility in life. I have been isolated in my apartment for over 2 years now. I have no friends and no social life. The only persons I see is a the gym. I know every movie in the history of film and have seen any documentary because of being alone home. That's my main reason why I want to ctb. It's pointless to sit forever here.

 

[Lost]

Just tired of everything.

 

[ClownMe]

Feel like shit, gotta go to work soon.

 

[SelmaJezkova10]

i don't know what to do or what to say, i think im in a type of limbo.

 

[Bullit]

Wish so so badly I could have my old life back again. But that won't happen.

 

[Grumpy Bear]

I never appreciated anything. I am obsessing over attempts and what it felt to have almost CTB.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I'm once again being hit with the realization that I will never see her again and death is literally the only way out of this.

 

[Flippy]

I'm pretty worried about someone, and I wish I had a magic wand! :-(

 

[Pisceslilith]

Feeling like my life is so pointless at such a young age. I don't have the energy to do anything and I don't want to anything anyways. I genuinely can't stand living. Even if things were to "get better", I still wouldn't want to leave in a world like this.

 

[Rhaiyne]

Feeling broken.... feeling very conflicted...

 

[littlelungs]

Part of me is wishing that I'd succeeded in killing myself in grade 12, back when my dad was still proud of me. He was the one who interrupted the attempt, albeit unknowingly.

He wasn't there when I needed his protection the most. I know why he wasn't there, but also... why wasn't he there? He's been there for all of my younger siblings. If I've been doing something wrong, then I must have been doing it since I was a baby.

I don't even know if he'll be sad when I go.

And people had the audacity to wonder why I was so angry and had such bad separation anxiety that I had to be taken to a children's psychologist before I'd even entered kindergarten. Why I still, in the latter half of my 20s, have the object constancy of a two year-old.

Maybe if I wasn't so sick and traumatized, and got all of those degrees that he wanted me to get, then maybe he'd still think highly of me... but I really don't know. Even if that were the solution, it would still be unattainable *because* I'm so sick and traumatized, so really, there's no solution even remotely within reach. I truly believe that my life was rigged before it even really began.

 

[Dymming Star6]

Tormented times 10...Just impatiently waiting to jump into the black abyss of nothing, any day now...

 

[Hurt]

I want to ctb right now. I dont want to live anymore. Many years depressed whats the fucking point of being alive like this I dont enjoy anything.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Really triggered by everything when I go out and also inside...I live with someone who only triggers me 100 percent. I hate him, but I have no where else to go...Family Guy is on every fucking evening. I hate this show. I hate everything he watches. I'm bored as fuck and I hate everything.

I hate this weather...it being hot. I hate arguing with people/strangers on here and sometimes Reddit. I just hate it all.

 

[suisuiforum]

Oh where do I even begin?

I'm really hating this mind-numbing yet vicious cycle that's inherently part of modern life, going through the notions during a typical work week, and then only having 2 days of freedom but not being able to escape the cruel reality of the world with distractions because of the impending suffering. After years of letting my suicidal ideations fester, I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it when I have my life situation squared away, but it'll take a long time for me to get to that point. I'm so tired of waiting, and I practically think about suicide every day, but I don't want to rush into it and make a half-assed attempt, with the possibility of people finding out what happened. I'm giving up on any hope of being happy, because every ounce of fleeting happiness is instantly snatched away, even when it's the result of a minor inconvenience that most people can handle. I don't give a shit if this makes me sound petulant and immature, because I'd rather just aim for the ultimate final and permanent solution of suicide.

 

[snxw]

Why did my family turn their backs on me when I needed them the most?

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I don't even know :o I feel like I'm empty and I don't feel anything anymore... I have tried to ctb many times in this year but still I'm "alive". Something always comes up and stop me. I'm bored, tired, confused and thinking how badly I want to disappear.

I'm little angry and anxious too, because I have some stalker (online, not irl I hope) and it feels like he is everywhere. He use many different accounts.
At first I thought I met several nice guys, but gradually I realized that it's just one person. Because they all wrote the same unique way, used the same words ... They use my mother tongue so it's easy to analyze them with good memory what I have.

If I try to avoid him, he tries to talk with me using different accounts until I answer to him.

First that was interesting and funny too, but now I'm just tired and bored with him and his games with me. I just want to know who and why, but I never will.

Probably he knows that I know, but he doesn't care. And I don't know why he is doing that. Why someone wants to be in touch with me so hard? And wants that he is only person with who I play and chat... Probably I'm now that mess what he wanted me to be at the end of this "game".

 

[K-On]

I feel like useless shit! My head is paining and I wish that someone kills me now.

 

[ocklepold]

Peaceful - now that I've made the decision to ctb, I don't feel anxious about the future any more.

 

[Bruces]

My life is over with no element of hope

 

[nobodyspecial]

I feel like I'm trapped in a never-ending hell. Think about death constantly and just wanting the misery to end.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Just up thinking how unattractive my face is, my body is unattractive and I also have a crappy personality. I'm traumatized and I hate being lonely, isolated, miserable and stressed and anxious in this life. Someday I have to get the courage to end this stupid life I never asked to be born into with these crappy genetics

 

[Life_and_Death]

What im going to say at my therapist appointment later.
My ex.
My friend.
My future.
Me.
The word inscribed on my arm this morning.