Discussion What's currently stopping you?

[Goose774]

For the people who intend on CTB, why haven't you? What are some obstacles you're facing?

 

[jonghyun]

parents' lives will be ruined and they'll probably stop taking care of the cat, so him too. that and i have a few videogames to finish...

 

[Tuurngait]

parents' lives will be ruined and they'll probably stop taking care of the cat, so him too. that and i have a few videogames to finish...

Enjoy them video games, and keep finding more; so many amazing things to play out there.

 

[DazaiKinnie]

For the people who intend on CTB, why haven't you? What are some obstacles you're facing?

I have a lot of writing to do. Writing is the only thing keeping me alive. I only live for the sake of my projects.

 

[Das Nichts]

DHL

 

[MentalStefan]

Addiction to drugs

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm only still trapped here because of the fact that suicide is so unnecessarily difficult in this world. To me all the methods are either inaccessible, risky or just horrible/incredibly difficult to go through with. It's so awful and cruel to me how as humans we are denied the option of a risk free way to exit that is peaceful, but sadly it's just the reality of existing here in this anti-suicide society where suicide isn't viewed as being a valid option, despite the fact that it's perfectly rational wishing to escape from all future suffering.

 

[Mäximum]

I'm still waiting until summer on things to get better. But the chances are decreasing and death is coming closer every day.

 

[AresCohere]

SI and the tiny, tiny amount of hope I have left. There is just enough of a possibility for it to get better, but even that is quickly going away.

 

[nanfranci]

my partner who is insistent on keeping me here and my living situation.

 

[J Peace]

I would love to ctb, but I cannot track down the necessary supplies.. (N, SN, Fentanyl)

I would really appreciate someone's help.

Thanks

 

[stillmirenai]

More than anything, I feel like such a low quality human being for hesitating on killing myself, because I know I'd be doing the world a favor with my death, but I just can't help but feel bad for my family and the friends I formed deep emotional bonds with. Even though the dead don't feel and I won't be around to witness their despair, they'd most likely be devastated that I took my own life.

 

[Goghni]

Gas setup is overall kind of expensive with some technical details needing to be correct before you make the purchase. And even when the funding goal is reached, if you do not have some sort of financial buffer you are in a predicament of being unable to afford your bills for a while. But does that matter if you're going to be dead? Well in some ways it makes the purchases the PONR, instead of the act itself.

Next there are steps that have to be taken to with regards to possessions and there are some possible PONRs with those too, particularly where data is concerned, in the same way you wouldn't want your entire life to be on record for people to see the best and the worst of you even if did decide to die of old age. Destroying or wiping your electronics is a serious inconvenience if you do turn back.

I suppose some would think that you could not be serious about death with such feeble personal excuses to not go jump off a bridge tomorrow without any measures taken beforehand, but I'm still human with a conscience creating morals by instinct. It's almost a duty to tidy things off in the same vein that is it to force the ending at what feels like the appropriate time, overstaying a welcome is to lack proper form.

 

[CentreMid]

For the people who intend on CTB, why haven't you? What are some obstacles you're facing?

Soccer's starting up and as much as I'd love to ctb asap, I would like to spend some time with my teammates before I go. Hoping to go before the end of the summer before I move and have to be away from them, but if that doesn't work, I'm hoping to go at least by the end of the year.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Nothing now. My day is almost here. I can't wait.

 

[Busridin'26]

Methods fucking methods.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Nothing, tbh. I don't even know why I haven't done it yet.

 

[numbnesshuman]

My boyfriend, and his family. I don't want to destroy their life….

 

[henry22]

Fear of the pain of dying. I don't have access right now to painless methods.

 

[treetop.grazer]

I'm just trying to manage to hyperventilatenand black out consistently so that I can do a SWB and CTB that way. It's way harder than I thought it would be.

 

[SentimentalTrip]

Mostly because I can't find a decent method. I want to CTB with N but there's a shortage so that's not an option. Even if it were an option, I couldn't go to Mexico without my helicopter parents wondering what the hell I'm doing there. I've heard a lot of bad stories about failed attempts with SN, so I don't really see that as an option. At this point I am just considering shooting myself in the head. I mean, it's an instant death right? Presumably the extreme pain of a gunshot wound wouldn't even register before you die.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

Need to prepare goodbye videos/letters and everytime i try i get a breakdown (not because I don't wanna CTB, but my kid and the fact i won't see her again), i wanna play tears of the kingdom and go on a few trips and, the biggest one; i have to gather the stuff I need for my method, which will also take some time and money, that i unfortunately don't have. I'm also not in much of a hurry, at least not right now.

 

[PurpleParadigm]

Loved one rely on me to be there. Need to figure out how to get a life insurance payout given to them after my death. In addition I need to wait until their immigration status is stable as in case with parents they might get killed if they return to Russia. I also want to make sure my partner stabilizes in the country. We are both first gen immigrants in UK.

 

[iwtdsb]

Religion and family, but mostly religion, meaning i will probably never cbt unless i lose my sanity and do it without thinking.

 

[mitsuko.055]

For the people who intend on CTB, why haven't you? What are some obstacles you're facing?

Idk even if i want to ctb for some years now , i always stop before i do anything that I can't take back ,i sit and think and at the end i always end up with the same conclusion i don't want to actually ctb i want to achieve my dreams and goals, i just don't want to struggle anymore. I just have accepted the truth and i try to be strong in order not to do it .

 

[howl pendragon]

Making sure everything works well for my best friend, who is the only true family I've ever had.

 

[illmissmydogthatsit]

I have a tiny, tiny sliver of hope that things will get better. That is why I don't do it. But I'm close. After years of hoping, it gets exhausting.
The irrational fear of death somehow being worse than this is also a factor.

 

[TAW122]

There are still things in life (though irrelevant from an objective point of view, but not from my personal perspective) that I must complete and try to make peace with, then when the time and circumstance is right, along with tying up loose ends and finishing some tasks (personal to me), I will CTB at last.

 

[WannaBdoneSufferng]

My kids. They, at least, deserve better.
But if I deserve better, that is my own death. A conundrum, to be sure.

 

[Jred]

I've gotten 'caught' twice now. First time was to only one person, this last time they've told others. My whole family is on alert and they took my SN, now I have to find another source and work through the added guilt of them already knowing. But life is worse than ever now, I'm readier than before.