Discussion What would your last thought be before ctb?

[Politecat]

I mean, I'm really hoping when I do CTB not to think of anything depressing, more of something happy, y'know? Like the good memories just so I can go without being sad or angry.

 

[therhydler]

I will think of the beautiful memories I had with the love of my life who I lost but it will be depressing...

 

[stargazer]

I will be thinking a mix of: I hope I don't survive, and thinking of my ideal world as my eternal afterlife (should there be one).
I'll be quite calm..

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

Honestly.. from previous close calls it will be "oh fk.. this is it". That's all. No thinking of loved ones or of what I won't get to do or what I'll escape from. Just the task at hand.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I'll be thinking: "This is the end of my pain".

 

[15dec]

I'm going to think of the good times and the people I love, and how I'll finally be at peace

 

[GhostedToast]

I'd think of my friend who I'm staying aroud for right now, how much they mean to me and all the times we've talked.

 

[TiredHorse]

I'll be running a slideshow on my computer: my Beloved, whom I lost; my horses, now dead; the places I enjoyed. I expect my thoughts will be on them and, simultaneously, "please, please, let me succeed this time!"

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Ill be surrounded by pictures and cards from my partner, put my engagement ring back on my finger, have the teddies we bought each other and keep thinking why i have to do this. Im hoping im not crashing around, vomitting and wanting to call for help

 

[Sinbad]

Finally..

 

[Help_Me]

"finally this suffering comes to an end..."

 

[311]

Fuck

 

[Xerxes]

The figurative embrace of Death who is accepting my decision as sound and rational. It's welcoming me to the void.

 

[bigj75]

Ill be thinking of

 

[Rose Mirren]

I'll most probably be calm. I'll think of how I've lived, not just existed. Just thinking about this makes me feel at peace now. But I'm done, the world has nothing more to offer for me. I'm ready to leave.

 

[Eden2k]

That it shouldn't have had to come to this.

 

[Xerxes]

Oh yeah, and this theme song will be playing in my head as well as I sum up my life.

 

[Muri]

Probably just the task at hand. I could think of the good or bad times but I've reminisced enough so there's no point.

 

[Mljonzy]

Probably oh fuck no but it will be the best decision i ever make.

 

[gingerplum]

Probably, "Let's get this the fuck over with" .

 

[Dead_Inside]

I mean, I'm really hoping when I do CTB not to think of anything depressing, more of something happy, y'know? Like the good memories just so I can go without being sad or angry.

I am a bit more scared now- because I have failed twice.... but before when I made my OD attempts, it was amazing.... before I faded out to nothing I was really happy. It was a relief and I was genuinely happy- in a way I hadn't been in a very long time.
I think this time won't be nice and I am scared that I will die afraid.

 

[Dead_Inside]

Im hoping im not crashing around, vomitting and wanting to call for help

... as much as I understand why each of us is making the decision to end our lives.... it's that picture that makes me so sad for everyone on here. I don't want anyone to die like that .... how is this all that people like us get? I know life isn't fair, but fuck....

 

[J Tizzle]

I've actually never thought about this. I would like to be unafraid but I know I'll be scared. I think I'll be listening to my favorite band and thinking about the friends who have already passed.

 

[MAIO]

I have been thinking of my ex fiancée a lot even though it's been over a year. That will probably be my last thought. It's odd though. When I have been experimenting with partial hanging I have been feeling like someone or something is watching me(No one is actually watching me I live in a big house alone)

 

[Dead_Inside]

I have been thinking of my ex fiancée a lot even though it's been over a year. That will probably be my last thought. It's odd though. When I have been experimenting with partial hanging I have been feeling like someone or something is watching me(No one is actually watching me I live in a big house alone)

Maybe they are thinking about you or have some worries for your health? Or someone does? Might explain it....?

 

[MAIO]

Maybe they are thinking about you or have some worries for your health? Or someone does? Might explain it....?

I don't think anyone has worries for my health. Maybe she is thinking about me. I am honestly not even sure if she will ever know I ctb.

 

[Dead_Inside]

I don't think anyone has worries for my health. Maybe she is thinking about me. I am honestly not even sure if she will ever know I ctb.

Maybe it's just all of us here.... trying to figure it out by watching you ; )

 

[GeorgeEastman]

It will be yelling to hurry the hell up and get this finished.

That's my thought about everything. I've done it all except this. It's taking way too long. That's why I'm so pissed off.

 

[LostGirl]

I think it's impossible to know in advance and definitely not something I could control. If possible, god pls grant me total darkness with zero thought and permit me to continue to be in that state for eternity.

 

[Comatose11]

"There better not be an afterlife."