Help What would you do if you were in this situation?

[Nirrend]

Hello to all,

I know I tend to repeat myself, but I'm at a complete impasse.

I have everything I need to ctb, I think I'm ready but I'm being held back because I told my girlfriend about my plans.

Even though I know that my method may not be that reliable, I still have the determination to do it.

I don't know if you do but, I'm not in pain (not absolute distress, mostly empty) but I still want to die.

With what's been going on lately, I'm being pushed more and more towards hospitalization. But I don't believe in it and it sounds absurd but I miss the state I was in at the worst of my life, because I had nothing to lose by dying.

I don't understand why I don't do it, why I'm still here.

What would you do in my place? Would you have gone as far as a full hospital treatment?

Or would you have tried to end it all by any means?

Would you wait the end of the hospitalization period to ctb ?

I don't know what to do and I suffer without suffering, I don't understand what is happening to me, it is often very oppressive.

Feeling normal or as if everything was on pause.

I don't have any more dates planned, my plan was cancelled and so I'm without anything at the moment.

Thank you for reading and for your future replies,

I wish you a good evening ❤

 

[MidnightDream]

I think I would have tried hospital treatment, just to know in my heart that I'd exhausted all options of recovery before CTBing, but everyone is different and you have to do what's right for you. Don't rush either decision, and don't act on impulse. Here for you <3

 

[Amccorm2]

My friend, your time is when you truly feel it is time. I'm no pro-lifer but sometimes the smallest of things can make a difference. Just as the biggest of things don't matter at all.

It may be worth having some time to yourself, away from distractions and really understanding everything.

Either way, the choice is yours and yours alone.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

It seems like you're confused about your own feelings. If I felt that I'm not sure why I feel a certain way and what is happening to me, I think I'd try hospital treatment to give myself some time and space to think everything over and maybe figure out what is really going on in my head before I make any decisions.

Best of luck to you, either way.

 

[jodes2]

I would try hospitalisation, it could help. Then if it doesn't, CTB. Sorry you're here friend

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like a difficult situation that you are in and it must be tiring. It's hard to say what I would do, as I'm not in your situation. Hospitals sound like awful places to me, and I would personally do everything to avoid them, but only you can decide what is best as only you are the one who is living your life. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[onlyway63]

If you think there's a chance for hospitals to help you, then do it.
Personally, I would avoid hospitals, if at all possible. The last time I was in one, it was bad. Whenever I had time off from people talking to me, I didn't really have anything to do. The people weren't helpful, either. Your experience could be different, though.
No matter what you choose, I wish you success.

 

[Shadowlord900]

If you're talking about hospitalization for getting over your suicidal thoughts, your experience with mental hospitals/psychiatric wards can sadly greatly depend on which hospital you go to. Some have nice staff and rooms, others don't.

If it helps, depending on your country, volunteering to go to hospital yourself is generally better than getting forced to go to one. You usually get a little more freedom in what you can do if you volunteered and maybe hopefully the staff will treat you nicer than usual too. If you do want to go this route, make sure you go to the hospital yourself, don't get someone else to call the hospital for you, otherwise it wouldn't count as volunteering. But I think you should be fine bringing someone with you when you go to volunteer, getting someone who can help vouch for you may make it easier for you to get in.

 

[Nirrend]

I think I would have tried hospital treatment, just to know in my heart that I'd exhausted all options of recovery before CTBing, but everyone is different and you have to do what's right for you. Don't rush either decision, and don't act on impulse. Here for you <3

Ty for your kindness beautiful soul ❤

I hope that your medications are working good on you ❤

 

[Freebird4567]

I would try hospital treatment and try and engage with therapy and meds, you have nothing to lose and can always ctb afterwards if that was still what you wanted

 

[Nirrend]

My friend, your time is when you truly feel it is time. I'm no pro-lifer but sometimes the smallest of things can make a difference. Just as the biggest of things don't matter at all.

It may be worth having some time to yourself, away from distractions and really understanding everything.

Either way, the choice is yours and yours alone.

Thank you for your kind words, I know that the decision is mine but I guess that I'll try everything to get better tiller the end

Sending you love ❤

It seems like you're confused about your own feelings. If I felt that I'm not sure why I feel a certain way and what is happening to me, I think I'd try hospital treatment to give myself some time and space to think everything over and maybe figure out what is really going on in my head before I make any decisions.

Best of luck to you, either way.

Thank you, yes I was thinking this way as others here recommended me

Sending you love ❤

I would try hospitalisation, it could help. Then if it doesn't, CTB. Sorry you're here friend

Thank you for your advices

Yes I think I'll do that, it's just a question of fear and trust about treatments and carers I think, this is probably why I have doubts

Sending you love ❤

It sounds like a difficult situation that you are in and it must be tiring. It's hard to say what I would do, as I'm not in your situation. Hospitals sound like awful places to me, and I would personally do everything to avoid them, but only you can decide what is best as only you are the one who is living your life. I wish you relief from suffering.

No problem, I understand, thank you for your answer

Wishing you the best ❤

If you think there's a chance for hospitals to help you, then do it.
Personally, I would avoid hospitals, if at all possible. The last time I was in one, it was bad. Whenever I had time off from people talking to me, I didn't really have anything to do. The people weren't helpful, either. Your experience could be different, though.
No matter what you choose, I wish you success.

Thank you for your answer, I'm really sorry for your bad experience..

Sending you love ❤

If you're talking about hospitalization for getting over your suicidal thoughts, your experience with mental hospitals/psychiatric wards can sadly greatly depend on which hospital you go to. Some have nice staff and rooms, others don't.

If it helps, depending on your country, volunteering to go to hospital yourself is generally better than getting forced to go to one. You usually get a little more freedom in what you can do if you volunteered and maybe hopefully the staff will treat you nicer than usual too. If you do want to go this route, make sure you go to the hospital yourself, don't get someone else to call the hospital for you, otherwise it wouldn't count as volunteering. But I think you should be fine bringing someone with you when you go to volunteer, getting someone who can help vouch for you may make it easier for you to get in.

Yes, I wanted to do it in a volunteer way, because I knew that I would have lose my freedom and rights..

Thank you for sharing your opinion

Sending you love ❤

I would try hospital treatment and try and engage with therapy and meds, you have nothing to lose and can always ctb afterwards if that was still what you wanted

Yes, I think that this is not that bad to give me a last chance but that sound pardoxical to try to recover when I know that during the 3 past months, I was preparing myself to ctb..

Anyway, thank you

Sending you love ❤