What would it take to make you not want to ctb?

[Kuolema]

Not trying to sound pro-life... just wondering is all.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Relief from the constant torture and anxiety inside me....also happiness and freedom

And perhaps something to block out all past traumatic experiences.

 

[RM5998]

Freedom from what I am now... Becoming something closer to human.

 

[HGL91]

To be young and naive again, so I could like people, believe in love, and think that there's good in the world.

 

[Pistolero114]

One hour of here on planet Earth. No fighting. No killing in the name of someone's God. No babies crying to be fed and starving to death.

For the power of love to overcome the love in of power so mother Earth would know peace.

(We Shall Be Free; Garth Brooks)

 

[Darkhaven]

Financial Independence.

 

[Sh00]

Cure for Aspergers.

 

[Mr2005]

A time machine

 

[seekingoblivion]

I would have to be, completely and utterly and totally without excuse, someone else

 

[Pupuce]

Being high af permanently, or memory wiping

 

[kolski]

A miracle.

 

[SinisterKid]

A miracle.

You took the words right out of my mind

 

[restingspot]

A billion dollars. My life would not be perfect, but the urge to ctb would be reduced to a manageable amount. I could finally not stress about work prospects and be able to pursue things I genuinely enjoy. I could get therapy (I benefit immensely from it), surgeries covered, and be able to house myself and my family under ideal living conditions...Being able to fund other people to get them into a stable living situation where they can live independently...And most importantly, being able to afford multiple ways to ctb incase I need to punch out for whatever reason (e.g. terminal illness).

 

[k75]

A time machine

THIS

I never would have had the operation that destroyed me. I think maybe I could find a way to live despite everything else, if I could just undo that.

I'm lying to myself, though. I would already be dead if I hadn't gone through with it, so it doesn't even fucking matter. Just a stupid fantasy.

 

[Painted Bird]

@restingspot mentioned a billion dollars. That could postpone it in my case for sure, I'd enjoy spending money for some time but eventually I'm quite sure I'd end up ctb. It'd be great that with that kind of money I could easily end it all on my terms. You could afford a bathtub full of N.

 

[Pineapplecrown]

See my son again. Rip

 

[thomasdoyletad]

There are lots of things, but they most remain hypothetical. Like even a part-time job to give me life some meaning and structure. Some sort of support network. A family. A social life. Anything to give me the impression that my life isn't just going to get worse from here. Even when good things do happen it's always such a miserable uphill struggle to maintain them or pursue them and there are times when I just don't care. To live in a world where people like me actually had some value. Not just to the tiny percentage of the population who are themselves fucked and can't really do anything to help you, but often require your help, but in the context of being able to find a job, friends, etc., to have the most modest of those things other people tend to take for granted.

 

[sadgirl2002]

The miracle of him coming back so I can finally have true love.

 

[Icarus]

Going 6 years back and making different choices.

 

[irrelevant_string]

Having something to look forward to. Feeling something other than depression and anxiety. Being able to fall asleep without sleeping pills or benzodiazepines that practically lobotomize me. Not being a useless waste of resources. I'm so useless that I can't even acquire the things I need to kill myself peacefully, though maybe that's just an advanced SI feature.

 

[Ricks]

Relief from chronic pain...

 

[FFTMGD]

If I could wake up with a non imitation body that didnt feel like a living coffin, I would put up with all my other problems. If I could have that baseline of sense of self all would be well...

 

[Kuolema]

Thank you so much for sharing all of you. I wish things could be different but alas I am just a man and I can't change shit. I hope you all find peace one day.

 

[AngelGirl]

It's just so sad I want so many things. But I can't have any of them. There's no way I can do things that I want or get things I want. My life is trapped and I just have to suffer forever. I am just trying to end my life a bit earlier. It was going to end anyway. Living for 50+ 60+ more years is meaningless and so small when you think of the age of the universe.