Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
How would your life change, if you literally couldn't end your life.

Let the reason be something supernatural.

You would have to wait, until you die of a "natural" cause like old age, accident, illness...

Would that change anything at all for you?

Constantly having the idea in the back of the mind,
that you want to catch the bus,
probably has an influence on your decision making, in your daily life.

Some of which probably only reinforce the idea, that catching the bus, is the best course of action.

For example
  • Distancing yourself from other people
  • Slacking of at school or work
  • Taking drugs
  • Not investing money or time, to gain something beneficial in the future
I mean no matter how much pain or suffering you endured up until now,
it wasn't enough to make you fall over dead.

Even with all your hardships, you managed to continue your life nevertheless.

So what would happen, if the option to ctb gets taken away?
 
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suffering

suffering

Too p*ssy to end it, too suicidal to leave
Aug 17, 2018
398
literally couldn't end your life.
I am there. I can't do it. I counted on this option my whole life, I took risks, I was bold, etc. thinking I can always end it if things go wrong. Things went wrong and I still couldn't do it. Now things got even worse and here I am alive.
So the the question of what I would do is not hypothetical to me anymore, it's real life. The answer is that I am struggling as much as possible to make money and to keep healthy, so that I can live a life of little suffering until death finds me.
 
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NatureHermit921

NatureHermit921

Rotting in a forest somewhere in Germany
Feb 3, 2019
29
You'll find stuff to cope with. But I believe that eventually you wont be able to enjoy/cope with these things anymore. BUT if you somehow manage to continue to cope even though you hate everything youll end as a hollow shell of a human - maybe you'd even die from one of your copes (unintentionally)
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
I am there. I can't do it. I counted on this option my whole life, I took risks, I was bold, etc. thinking I can always end it if things go wrong. Things went wrong and I still couldn't do it. Now things got even worse and here I am alive.
So the the question of what I would do is not hypothetical to me anymore, it's real life. The answer is that I am struggling as much as possible to make money and to keep healthy, so that I can live a life of little suffering until death finds me.
Damn that sucks.
What exactly is stopping you?
 
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Redt2go

Redt2go

flower child
Jan 5, 2019
1,643
I think the answer to this question depends on whether or not you previously had the option of suicide. Do people around you have the option of suicide? Do you even know what the concept of suicide is in this alternate universe?
 
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suffering

suffering

Too p*ssy to end it, too suicidal to leave
Aug 17, 2018
398
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Sixfeetunder

Sixfeetunder

Specialist
Jan 12, 2019
319
I'd probably be in a better place academically. In HS I assumed I would be dead by 18, so I dropped out and didn't try. The consequences of that is one of the reasons I want to ctb. So if I had to wait for natural causes, I'd probably be in a better place academically. I've also learned to make decisions based on the assumption that I won't ctb even though I have a date and combined methods picked out.

I'm also very thankful that we have the option to ctb.
 
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P

pleasethistime

Experienced
Jun 25, 2018
256
without the idea of suicide, I'd have killed myself right away
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
I think the answer to this question depends on whether or not you previously had the option of suicide. Do people around you have the option of suicide? Do you even know what the concept of suicide is in this alternate universe?

Good question.
I didn't consider how it would change the outlook, if other people still had the option of suicide.

I didn't really imagine an alternate universe, but this current one, where due to some reason (for example the government implants some chip in your head, that increases your survival instinct; no matter how much you want to jump in front of a train, you can't)
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
I'd probably be in a better place academically. In HS I assumed I would be dead by 18, so I dropped out and didn't try. The consequences of that is one of the reasons I want to ctb. So if I had to wait for natural causes, I'd probably be in a better place academically. I've also learned to make decisions based on the assumption that I won't ctb even though I have a date and combined methods picked out.

I'm also very thankful that we have the option to ctb.
That's seems like a good course of action, especially if there isn't a set date, which is the case for me.

It really can be a vicious cycle, if you get hung up too much on the idea that you are going ctb. I want nothing more than to finally sleep forever, but I am not sure if I want to end up in a situation, where I am basically forced to ctb. That's why I am also thankful that we still have that option.
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
without the idea of suicide, I'd have killed myself right away
The point I was trying to make was exactly that you can't kill yourself, but for some reason your reply still cracks me up :pfff:
Love it
 
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Chalken

Chalken

Decaying
Nov 20, 2018
214
Thinking about suicide has become a coping mechanism of sort. I keep telling myself that none of the things that seem important to others right now will matter in the end. Suicide is always in the back of my mind. If things go to utter shit or I reach a certain age, I know that hopefully I'll be able to ctb. Without this option, I'd be just living miserably until old age and fuck that. Better to never have been born tbh.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
That would be terrifying.
 
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9

989-X

Member
Feb 5, 2019
18
Admittedly, I'm a bit reckless and dumb sometimes. I surprisingly haven't done anything too drastic that would put me in serious danger, but the thought of danger hasn't been as inhibiting. Though I do experience random bouts of fear before just shaking it off. But I guess not much would change, really. I'm kind of expecting something to happen to where I wouldn't need to CTB with the luck I've been having.
 
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P

pleasethistime

Experienced
Jun 25, 2018
256
The point I was trying to make was exactly that you can't kill yourself, but for some reason your reply still cracks me up :pfff:
Love it
Cioran quote
 
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Othermind

Othermind

Specialist
Dec 26, 2018
301
I'd just be as self-destructive as possibile.
Taking hard drugs, sleeping outside on cold nights etc. until something does me in. But wouldn't that count as ctb, just using a very poor method?
If the question was "how would you cope with my suicidal thoughts until you die of old age?" I guess the answer would be "Just like I did this past year", drinking, self harming and torturing myself with guilt and remorse.
 
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EmotionlessWanderer

EmotionlessWanderer

Specialist
Jan 19, 2019
352
This could be a possible dystopian future. Government develops some sort of chip or device that prevents people from self harm. Every civilian is forced to have one. 1984 shit right there.
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
Thinking about suicide has become a coping mechanism of sort. I keep telling myself that none of the things that seem important to others right now will matter in the end. Suicide is always in the back of my mind. If things go to utter shit or I reach a certain age, I know that hopefully I'll be able to ctb. Without this option, I'd be just living miserably until old age and fuck that. Better to never have been born tbh.
It sure can have a comforting feeling, knowing that ctb is "always" an option. Right now it isn't really an option for me, which only amplifies the suffering.
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
I can see this going two possible ways for me. On the one hand, if it was impossible for a person to kill themselves, it might actually be easier for me to try to deal with my problems the best I can, consequently improving my ability to improve my mental health. In other words, maybe if suicide wasn't even possible, I would never spend time thinking about it. And I certainly don't think thinking about suicide is good for your mental health.

On the other hand, over time I might just go completely insane ;D. Sometimes I barely feel sane as it is. So who knows.
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
I'd just be as self-destructive as possibile.
Taking hard drugs, sleeping outside on cold nights etc. until something does me in. But wouldn't that count as ctb, just using a very poor method?
Assuming you don't do these activites with the intent to kill yourself, I don't think it would count as ctb, since you don't actively kill yourself.
Just sounds like a pretty crazy lifestyle, that could eventually lead to death.
If the question was "how would you cope with my suicidal thoughts until you die of old age?" I guess the answer would be "Just like I did this past year", drinking, self harming and torturing myself with guilt and remorse.
Everyone has a different way of coping with things, but to me this seems like that would only lead to more pain in the long run.
 
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Iman

Iman

Member
Jan 24, 2019
60
I can see this going two possible ways for me. On the one hand, if it was impossible for a person to kill themselves, it might actually be easier for me to try to deal with my problems the best I can, consequently improving my ability to improve my mental health. In other words, maybe if suicide wasn't even possible, I would never spend time thinking about it. And I certainly don't think thinking about suicide is good for your mental health.

On the other hand, over time I might just go completely insane ;D. Sometimes I barely feel sane as it is. So who knows.
That would seem like the best course of action. Trying to improve ones situation as much as possible,
since the alternative is just going insane one way or the other.
 
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DontFearTheReaper

DontFearTheReaper

Slowly losing my mind and very ill, help me..
Nov 5, 2018
44
That's seems like a good course of action, especially if there isn't a set date, which is the case for me.

It really can be a vicious cycle, if you get hung up too much on the idea that you are going ctb. I want nothing more than to finally sleep forever, but I am not sure if I want to end up in a situation, where I am basically forced to ctb. That's why I am also thankful that we still have that option.
Just knowing you can leave, makes life more bearable.
 
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Sadand39

Sadand39

Member
Feb 6, 2019
30
Then I would do something that what cause my death through other means. Murdered by someone, reckless living. Surely some form of death is an option
 

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