LivedAndNotLoved

LivedAndNotLoved

Leaving here, need to give life another shot!
Feb 28, 2020
39
Hi,

Just wondering what would happen after I ctb?

I'm working full time at the moment in an office, bog standard Mon-Fri 9-5, (but also off sick, doctor gave me sick note for a month for anxiety/depression/ctb attempt).

I was 'involved' with someone who works in the office. There will be chat logs on our computers of us talking. Nothing explicit, but inappropriate enough to raise questions if anyone saw them. I'm not going to go into massive detail, but we should never have been seeing each other. It's done now.

Then there's also my account on here. I'm worried about that being found. This website doesn't deserve a bashing, if I delete my account and put my phone/laptop on factory reset could this website still be found somehow?

And everything on my phone. Especially conversations between me and the colleague I was involved with.

What happens after I ctb? Would there be some kind of an investigation into why I done it? Like say for arguments sake they found out I used to see this man, would the police want to talk to him? Would they want to speak to people in my work or my friends/family to find out what happened?

Please no judgement, no one can make me feel worse than I already do.
 
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Remember to forget

Remember to forget

Member
Mar 6, 2020
98
Do you mind me asking why it was so wrong? If you don't want to say then I understand.
 
LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
I think as long as your account is banned and/or you are logged out it will be fine. Could you be logged in still on your work computer? Can you delete any conversations you had on your work computer? Even if not, I doubt anything would come if it.
Resetting your phone and laptop will take care of anything you are concerned about.
 
LivedAndNotLoved

LivedAndNotLoved

Leaving here, need to give life another shot!
Feb 28, 2020
39
I think as long as your account is banned and/or you are logged out it will be fine. Could you be logged in still on your work computer? Can you delete any conversations you had on your work computer? Even if not, I doubt anything would come if it.
Resetting your phone and laptop will take care of anything you are concerned about.
Ah brilliant thank you. I'm definitely logged out in work. I wont be able to no.
Do you mind me asking why it was so wrong? If you don't want to say then I understand.
Do you mind me asking why it was so wrong? If you don't want to say then I understand.
He is with someone. Unfortunately I've fallen for him and it's made life 10 times harder to deal with. I hate that I carried on with it as long as I did it's made me feel sick about myself.
 
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Darkhaven

Darkhaven

All i have left is memories
May 19, 2019
979
This is what i'm going to do: 1) log of of every account that may have explicit content, including e-mails adresses that may have mails saved on them like the confirmation of the registration in this website or others that i may have joined related to suicide or personal stuff i don't want them to find.
2) Then factory reset is always an advisable thing to do: phones, computers, smart tv's, videogame consoles, etc.
3) To take things to the extreme i plan on disposing or destroying all of my devices.
To top it of leaving a ctb note will probably make them drop of any suspicious theories regarding my death.
 
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E

Esc9434

Student
Feb 25, 2020
192
Ah brilliant thank you. I'm definitely logged out in work. I wont be able to no.


He is with someone. Unfortunately I've fallen for him and it's made life 10 times harder to deal with. I hate that I carried on with it as long as I did it's made me feel sick about myself.

Sounds like you are love sick. Stay busy and find ways to improve yourself. If you stay on your purpose, then eventually you will find someone made especially for you.

Too many good man out here to stay fixated on one.
 
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LivedAndNotLoved

LivedAndNotLoved

Leaving here, need to give life another shot!
Feb 28, 2020
39
Sounds like you are love sick. Stay busy and find ways to improve yourself. If you stay on your purpose, then eventually you will find someone made especially for you.

Too many good man out here to stay fixated on one.
I'm beyond hope, I'm never ever going to change even if I wanted to. I'm permanently damaged and I refuse to spend the next 50+ years living like this. Thank you for your words though.
 
E

Esc9434

Student
Feb 25, 2020
192
I'm beyond hope, I'm never ever going to change even if I wanted to. I'm permanently damaged and I refuse to spend the next 50+ years living like this. Thank you for your words though.

Question. Since the relationship been over, what have you done differently for yourself?

Have you partied? Taken an adventure to somewhere you haven't been? Picked up a new hobby? Learned something interesting? Buy some sexy clothing? Get a new hairstyle?

I understand life is boring. The hoops you have to jump through to have a happy one is not worth it. I think you can find something in this world that you like and can pacify you.
 
LivedAndNotLoved

LivedAndNotLoved

Leaving here, need to give life another shot!
Feb 28, 2020
39
Question. Since the relationship been over, what have you done differently for yourself?

Have you partied? Taken an adventure to somewhere you haven't been? Picked up a new hobby? Learned something interesting? Buy some sexy clothing? Get a new hairstyle?

I understand life is boring. The hoops you have to jump through to have a happy one is not worth it. I think you can find something in this world that you like and can pacify you.
I'm off from work on the sick with depression and I cant go out anywhere anyway with the coronavirus. I'm not allowed to drink anyway because of the medication I'm on. I haven't done the rest of the stuff though.

I just fucking hate every single day you know? I feel like I'm wasting my life being miserable and letting people take advantage so I'd just rather be dead.
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
If you're worried about the potential access of your account even while self-banned, enabling 2FA and signing out of the account makes it where it is not possible to sign back in.
 
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LivedAndNotLoved

LivedAndNotLoved

Leaving here, need to give life another shot!
Feb 28, 2020
39
E

Esc9434

Student
Feb 25, 2020
192
I'm off from work on the sick with depression and I cant go out anywhere anyway with the coronavirus. I'm not allowed to drink anyway because of the medication I'm on. I haven't done the rest of the stuff though.

I just fucking hate every single day you know? I feel like I'm wasting my life being miserable and letting people take advantage so I'd just rather be dead.

I understand. Yeah who you surround yourself with can make a difference. That is why I said earlier, stay busy and find ways to improve yourself. If you stay on your purpose, then eventually you will find yourself in a room full of people who get you. You have to do things to seperate yourself from the herd.
 
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Blu_1

Blu_1

Love, until you can love no more IG: trueblue_1010
Mar 13, 2020
147
I understand. Yeah who you surround yourself with can make a difference. That is why I said earlier, stay busy and find ways to improve yourself. If you stay on your purpose, then eventually you will find yourself in a room full of people who get you. You have to do things to seperate yourself from the herd.

Agreed with what you said. And the people who get you, will truly get you. Quality people > just quantity.

On extremely rough days even just typing out a simple message can feel overwhelming. At least that is what I am experiencing right now. But I digress from OP's main topic...
 
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E

Esc9434

Student
Feb 25, 2020
192
Exercise is very important. Made a difference with me.
 
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