Discussion What works for you?

[SinisterKid]

I have just crawled out of possibly the darkest place I have ever had the misfortune to visit. It was a depth I did not know existed. I do know, without a shadow of a doubt it is not a place I wish to return to, but I fear I will at some point. So how do I prevent that from happening?

After some group therapy sessions after my first attempt, we talked about things that helped us keep our demons from taking over. There was a guy who self harmed, a lass who had a eating disorder, a gambling addict, a lass with depression and myself. I did try a few things without a great deal of success. Until we really got into distraction. It was a full session we spent talking about it. So I thought I would try it.

When I thought I was going to jail, that put me over the edge. The only thing I could do was read. I read for about 22 hours a day at one point. I could barely eat or sleep. But reading got me through. I have always enjoyed reading and get completely absorbed in a book. The outside world becomes a minor after thought. I am reading heavily right now. I have a trilogy I am reading and it has helped me come back towards the light.

Music often helps, but my mood has to be right. Sometimes, just one song will trigger something inside and i just cant listen anymore. I know its bad when I cant even listen to Pink Floyd. Films/movies can be beneficial. Action flicks are a no no, but most other genres can give me a couple of hours peace. TV on the other hand is not good. I ruminate a lot because tv bores me. Walking/fresh air is ok, but most of the time I just feel so tired, so any form of exercise drains me completely, if thats possible. Elastic bands can help. When I find myself slipping into the corners of my own mind, a elastic band on the wrist helps bring me back. I pull it and let it snap back against my skin and it snaps my attention back to the here and now. Cooking can sometimes be a great distraction, especially if it involves chocolate. This place can be great because I feel amongst like minded people. But it can also be a very negative experience sometimes as well.

So what works for you? When you are in such pain that no one can reach you, what can you do to help yourself? I am always keen to learn from others and their experiences as they are usually so different than my own.

 

[pole]

I feel like i'm a lonely extrovert. without the lack of communication and interaction with people, i start to get extremely depressed and down fairly quickly. I had gotten a retail job at a place i really liked, and i guess that was sort of a "safe haven" for me, because i didn't feel alone, it didn't feel like a job for me, i had fun, and i also met tons of people and was constantly around people which made me forget alittle about my other self; and also, met people who i could actually vent to, managers who were going through stuff that they vented to me about and i vented to them about and it felt really really fricken good. it got me out of my shell for that time being. maybe something like that could work; even though i was extremely depressed, it gave me a reason always to be around people because i had work, and an obligation to actually leave my house.

Also like working out. something where i'm not alone in my room with myself, and my mind, where i don't have to stress or think, like i'm just temporarily forgetting my misery for a time being; working retail and working out definitely helped then.

 

[a_strange_day]

for me walking helps, in a forest if possible, somewhere where I'm sure I dont run into anyone. I can walk for hours, just thinking about things
music helps too but only late at night, shades down, lights off, nostalgia strikes
reading in the afternoon, but only books I love, so I've already read. Its may seem weird but I've read so many books in my life that most of the time it's like it's the first time

 

[TAW122]

Playing video games, pursuing my music hobby, and of course self-defined copes that works for me. I'm more of a rationalizer when it comes to processing thoughts and events, so for me to cope, I usually have to make sense of a situation, parse it, find the solution (which will vary and is self-defined), and then seek the solution out.

No amount of therapy, nor religion, nor people just telling me some cliche stuff (which apparently works for the masses) will ever do much good for me. In fact, it may even cause some harm in the process.

 

[Uso]

I do pretty well for the most part for as long as I'm on my computer or phone, but the second I get up for even a moment it's like the entire world just... breaks. So I have to keep myself distracted. I really understand where you're coming from.

Reading really does help! In the psych ward all I could do was read, and when I was in IOP I snuck my phone in to play sudoku under my shirt. Sudoku is a great distraction IMO because at harder levels all you're doing is taking notes until you finally get a breakthrough and then the whole puzzle unfolds. Very satisfying.

Movies, games, music... that helps too, as well as creating my own art and music, but only while multitasking. It keeps my brain occupied in the moment and that's really all I can hope for. Taking even a moment to pause and think starts the spiral downwards...

Best of luck to everyone here. I hope we can make it through this.

 

[Nihil]

Cyberspace has primarily been my main coping mechanism, though I realize it's probably not the healthiest. In my darkest hours, I try my best to focus on the little things to get myself to keep hanging on. Like, enjoying the taste of a glass of water, enjoying a tasty snack or meal, enjoying taking a refreshing deep breath, enjoying outside scenery, and so on. Being around Mother Nature as much as possible, I have found, can be very healing in a strange way.

 

[Orin]

This story:

A Blessing in Disguise (Chinese Folk Story)

A long, long time ago, there was a kind old man who lived on the plains outside the Great Wall of China. The gentle old man had only two passions in his life: collecting rare breeds of horses, and his son, whom he loved more than anything else. The old man and his son would ride their horses...

ymaa.com

 

[BeenDoneForSoLong]

Kind of cheating. But I stop myself from thinking; any forms of in depth escapism works, for now... Very loud music while I drive to work (I still think about just stopping and hanging myself every single time).
Sexting all night until I'm just exhausted and fall asleep.
I drink and play video games afternoon/at night.
If my online friends aren't on I'll watch a movie or something.

I don't think any of this is leading to the road to recovery or whatever. But it seems to be delaying shit at least.

 

[harlope]

Reading and Baking. Music seems to keep me focused on my feelings and for some reason I never feel worthy of listening to my favourite music when I feel down??

 

[BeenDoneForSoLong]

for some reason I never feel worthy of listening to my favourite music when I feel down??

This is absurd! I gaurantee that whoever is making the music- would be amazed to know that their music is reaching someone in your situation. I'm 100% sure of this :)

 

[harlope]

This is absurd! I gaurantee that whoever is making the music- would be amazed to know that their music is reaching someone in your situation. I'm 100% sure of this :)

Aaaa thankyou!! I know you're right. Logically I know this, but for some reason my mind just won't let me. I feel like I have to be a certain way to enjoy music I like and it sucks so much. I have a playlist that I haven't touched in weeks now because I can't bring myself to :(

 

[Partial-Elf]

Shaving my face has weirdly become a coping mechanism while depressed. It's kind of easy when depressed and I just try to focus really hard. I use a double bladed safety razor as opposed to a cartridge or disposable, so there's a higher chance of nicking myself, which is an incentive to focus. Another incentive to focus is to genuinely try to get the closest possible shave, any time I run my hand over my face and feel stubbly that's an area for improvement. I find I'm able to do this even when hardly able to function for some reason. It's also attached to showering which I enjoy and use to cope

 

[GeorgeJL]

The Psychology of Depression - How to Ruin Your Life


Jordan Peterson - Advice For People With Depression


How the stoicism of Roman philosophers can help us deal with depression
medicalxpress.com/news/2017-10-stoicism-roman-philosophers-depression.html

Self Authoring
www.selfauthoring.com

I've used psychedelics with great success too. If you need advice on buying them PM me.

 

[Meretlein]

Talking with friends, working out, reading books (I like scifi, fantasy, philosophical, and medical books the best), and practicing my singing. Most of those things just act as a painkiller and don't really bring me joy.

 

[thomasdoyletad]

I don't mind Jordan Peterson, but seriously... get a job, date, make friends... seriously? It's like yeah, sure, that would all help. No doubt about it. What people who have never had to do without all of this don't realise is that the pursuit of these things, as a social pariah, is in fact psychologically destructive. A constant reminder of the fact that most humans consider you worthless at best, or a potential threat, if they don't sniff out that you're vulnerable and see you as something to be ruthlessly exploited...

As for stuff that actually helps...

1. Writing
2. Exercising
3. Avoiding people who spout crap advice
4. Drugs
5. Cutting myself

Unfortunately most of these things require motivation which is in short supply when you're catatonically depressed.

 

[k75]

Art is a big thing for me. It's great because even if you have no talent at all you can still just zone out like a little kid and not have to worry about anything for awhile.

I've done a few rounds in a partial hospital program, and we would have art groups. It was always interesting because there would be guys in there that were not artistically inclined at all and would say, I hate art... I've never done anything like this in my life and it's not going to work. And then they would end up being the most absorbed in their projects and get the most benefit out of it than anybody else in the group. It was pretty amazing.

 

[Mr2005]

Get a SNES

 

[Rukia]

1. For now sleeping...Trying to sleep as many hours as I can...My body somehow cooperates and I can sleep without any aid for lets say 16 hours on a lucky day...maybe more, never counted that...I know it is not sustainable in the long run or is it? lol...But hope I will feel better some day....
2. Faith in God, blissful afterlife the tiny bit I still have...
3. The more toxic ways are booze, sweets, anti anxiety meds but in still allowed dosage
4. Hoping against hope ;)
5. Listening to music, YT
6. Online shopping

 

[CookieBandit]

For me reading books helps a lot too, also drawing, fixing some electrical stuff or cleaning the flat. But when darkness hits too hard, the only thing which helps is time. And then, after a while of smelling bad I take a bath. That is always the first step back to normal.
Oh, and being responsible for my two cats defenetly helps me getting out of bed at least some times a day.

 

[greencoat111]

Books always help me too as I can get totally lost in them. Also helping others gets me away from how I feel inside. I knit blankets for cancer patients and pets in animal shelters and it has helped me a lot

 

[Sensei]

For me, it's writing. It requires all of my attention and it feels good when I see the result.

 

[Ness]

I've got a few things, but it always depends on the situation. I love writing, if I'm trying to get away from stressful things I like to put on music in the background and just write. Also a huge fan of reading, which is what I do when I'm so exhausted that I can't pick up a pen or type anyway. Music is in the background then, too. Actually, music is probably always on in the background for me.

I think when I'm at my worst, the best thing I can do is just take time to sit and fantasize about different worlds and universes. Sometimes those fantasies are kind and good, sometimes they're really not. But it's the better option to my more relied upon self-harm.

I've got a ton of minor hobbies that I pick up every now and then, but they're for the days where I'm not as bad off. I need a bit more patience when I knit, color or bake.

 

[chris8000]

Five element Qi-gong is doing it for me, at this phase of my life.

Also, going on a walk.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Books. Especially when I can't get out of bed.
Music, but not stuff that reminds me of better times.
Cooking.
Sewing. (I know, fascinating af!)
I take a list of positive affirmations and change them into sarcastic versions. This is incredibly therapeutic

Mindfulness—
(I am hopeless at the meditation stuff, so I do this:
I have a Buddha Board, and draw on it with water, and watch the picture fade. (Pretend that the picture is me;)

Treatment Stuff—
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation
Works on my depression and fibr—but is too expensive.

 

[greencoat111]

Books. Especially when I can't get out of bed.
Music, but not stuff that reminds me of better times.
Cooking.
Sewing. (I know, fascinating af!)
I take a list of positive affirmations and change them into sarcastic versions. This is incredibly therapeutic

Mindfulness—
(I am hopeless at the meditation stuff, so I do this:
I have a Buddha Board, and draw on it with water, and watch the picture fade. (Pretend that the picture is me;)

Treatment Stuff—
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation
Works on my depression and fibr—but is too expensive.

I love sewing too, i find it really therapeutic