What was your life like at 23?

[FireFox]

Hi everyone
Here is a fun theread i created in which we can freely discuss and share.
I turn 23 next week on wednesday. I dont even want to celebrate my birthday because
I have lived all these years and nothing to show for it and no acheivements.

What was your life like at 23 and where are you today?

Here is my life at 23
1) I will still be jobless .Never had a job. I get rejected from various minimum wage jobs. I did a voluntary work placement at uni which involved adivisng people on thier issues regarding debt, housing etc . It went awfully wrong . I struggled with the advising , had clients walk away from me and my colleugues had to take over as i was useless at advising. My confidence in myself was ruined. During uni I was offered a job in this church set up by someone as a saturday job youth worker role. I turned it down as i afriad of messing up again just like I did with the placement.
I regret it everyday because i struggled to find a job ever since. I believe this is my last ever job offer i will ever have in my life. I have major insecruity issues from never having a job.

2) Still living at home in the same neighbourhood and going to the same church ever since i was born. I always thought i will be living in a different city. I hate going in to town and churuch because the people i went go to church with i also went to school with. They ask me what i am doing . It is so awful because there is nothing going for me. The people i go to church with have careers anf relationships they are my age. I still believe in God and stuff. Being unemployed i just want to avoid everyone. I feel like i will be here forever

3)I Feel so lost since graduating university it is awful. I angry at myself for failing to create a stable life before graduating. I needed to secure a job offer, a partner before i graduated.

4) I wish i was the girl i went to school with. She is still with the man i always wanted and a has job. I wish he loved me. I am sick of guys never wanting me.

I have no idea what i want to do with my life it makes me cry. I dont even know where to begin
I cant see my life ever changing. I want to die so i dont have to see the future.
All i want for my birthday is to be happy again .
I dont want any presents or even a cake

 

[InTheAirTonight]

I'm 23 too.... Feel like this is the last time I will ever feel "young". I'm so close to ending it

 

[in hell out soon]

I'm 24 in five days. Spending corona indefinitely quarantined because someone in my apartment complex got corvid and I'm fuming because it means I can't see my immounocompromised mother very often. Have I mentioned I'm immunicompromised and particularly prone to lung infections in particular so this would likely kill me too?

Still severely disabled. No job. I'm still the annoying friend. My better half lives somewhere I'll never be able to visit. I never leave the house even when I still could because I'm afraid and I don't know anyone who'd mind hanging out.

I'm really tired. 24 is only going to be worse.

 

[X-Kid]

24 here. Bleak outlook made worse with Corona. Have a job and only 2 friends I see once every few weeks. Alone and depressed here. Never had a girlfriend. Terrible at socializing so here I am. I would trade everything just to be genuinely happy again. It's been over 10 years since I was diagnosed with depression. Feels a little better knowing I'm not alone here.

 

[Squiddy]

I turn 23 next year so I wouldn't know how it would be like. Though it'll probably be the same. Terrible

 

[mediocre]

I was going to college part time at night to get my basic high school education, my A levels, because I ever finished high school. This was 2015-2016. It was very hard to sit in a classroom of over 20 people again. But I did it and completed it. I'm 27 now and have done nothing since. Still have no job.

 

[FireFox]

I was going to college part time at night to get my basic high school education, my A levels, because I ever finished high school. This was 2015-2016. It was very hard to sit in a classroom of over 20 people again. But I did it and completed it. I'm 27 now and have done nothing since. Still have no job.

What A levels did you do?

I turn 23 next year so I wouldn't know how it would be like. Though it'll probably be the same. Terrible

Sorry why is your life terrible if you dont mind me asking

I'm 24 in five days. Spending corona indefinitely quarantined because someone in my apartment complex got corvid and I'm fuming because it means I can't see my immounocompromised mother very often. Have I mentioned I'm immunicompromised and particularly prone to lung infections in particular so this would likely kill me too?

Still severely disabled. No job. I'm still the annoying friend. My better half lives somewhere I'll never be able to visit. I never leave the house even when I still could because I'm afraid and I don't know anyone who'd mind hanging out.

I'm really tired. 24 is only going to be worse.

Shit they got covid. Why are they not in the hosptial?
Keep safe that is scary

I was going to college part time at night to get my basic high school education, my A levels, because I ever finished high school. This was 2015-2016. It was very hard to sit in a classroom of over 20 people again. But I did it and completed it. I'm 27 now and have done nothing since. Still have no job.

Being unemployed sucks and has ulimately worsened my mental health. For me not having a job i feel like i have absolutely nothing to live for. I am jealous of people who work because they have something to go to in the mornings.
I feel like an embrassment to my family because i dont have a job.

 

[mediocre]

What A levels did you do?

Sorry why is your life terrible if you dont mind me asking

Shit they got covid. Why are they not in the hosptial?
Keep safe that is scary

Being unemployed sucks and has ulimately worsened my mental health. For me not having a job i feel like i have absolutely nothing to live for. I am jealous of people who work because they have something to go to in the mornings.
I feel like an embrassment to my family because i dont have a job.

It was a course equivalent to 3 A levels that included all kinds of subjects biology, accounting, Spanish etc

 

[FireFox]

It was a course equivalent to 3 A levels that included all kinds of subjects biology, accounting, Spanish etc

Cool range of A levels
What happended after college?

I'm 23 too.... Feel like this is the last time I will ever feel "young". I'm so close to ending it

Oh why?

 

[SpareWheel]

23, 2001. 3 bed house, pregnant girlfriend, just started Djing in a club on a Friday night and had a decent job working for the council, tons of friends, out every weekend, whole life in front of me I thought. Strangely enough it's that age that my life really took a turn for the worse but the back end of 23 in 2002. In the space of a few months half the above had gone or changed.

I wish 23 year old me knew what was coming. I can pinpoint the time and place my life took a turn for the worse, if I'd just not gone in a certain pub at a certain time. Hindsight is 20/20 though.

 

[Good4Nothing]

At 23 I was trying to have fun, trying to fit in, trying to meet girls. Sometimes working, sometimes not.
Sometimes homeless. Always lonely, always rejected, always frustrated. Always depressed.
Getting drunk, getting high, getting stoned. Crying. Contemplating suicide.
I'm 48 now. I've experienced a lot of life, but most of it painful. Even the happy memories are tinged with sadness.
If I'd checked out at 23 I really wouldn't have missed anything, in spite of all I've done.

 

[xBrialesana]

 

[Cosmiq]

I'm 30, I honestly can't immediately pull a memory from that time lol
It took me a meant to find something that happened in that year, I got my dog other than I was extremely reckless drinking and partying a lot and numbing myself of real emotions. I wasn't planning on suicide at the time, but was sure my actions would lead to death. From 22-25 was all about the same thing. Just recklessness and hoping one of my actions would take me out. Surprisingly I only ended up in the hospital once, and my friend pretended to be my stepdad to get me out. This wasn't mental health-related though.

By 25, was when I really felt kinda old though. I figured if I made it that long I had to give myself a real shot, and really try my best. I peaked at 27, and came crashing down since wishing I'd OD, got in an accident, or something in my more reckless years.

 

[nomorefight]

Im only 20 and I really hope I don't make it to even see 23

 

[Mr2005]

Nightmarish and it's carried on for ten years. This must end

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I worked at a job where I was paid to read and drink coffee all day, I went to the lake every morning at 6am to swim. Now I don't work and don't swim, otherwise I'm the same. – oh, I forgot, I haven't been suicidal back then.

since graduating university

What did you study/ what was your major?

 

[FireFox]

I worked at a job where I was paid to read and drink coffee all day, I went to the lake every morning at 6am to swim. Now I don't work and don't swim, otherwise I'm the same. – oh, I forgot, I haven't been suicidal back then.

since graduating university

What did you study/ what was your major?

Wow that is really cool. What country where you in for that job?
I have a law degree but dont want to be a lawyer. In the UK a law degree doesnt make you a lawyer. You need to complete a 2 year training contract which is extremely difficult to get as well more exams

 

[BPD Barbie]

23: I lived in Norway, was engaged, had an apartment in downtown Oslo and a dog. I had just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and was figuring out what that meant. I hadn't self harmed in years and was 4 years clear of my last overdose.

Now: I've just turned 30 and live back in the UK now. I have no money, crippling debt, no house, no options, no escape. An unhappy relationship, no job. I'm now Bipolar as well and planning to ctb. I self harm often and dream of death. Life has been a downward spiral.

 

[terry_a_davis]

life was pretty good at 23 i wish i could go back

 

[FireFox]

23: I lived in Norway, was engaged, had an apartment in downtown Oslo and a dog. I had just been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and was figuring out what that meant. I hadn't self harmed in years and was 4 years clear of my last overdose.

Now: I've just turned 30 and live back in the UK now. I have no money, crippling debt, no house, no options, no escape. An unhappy relationship, no job. I'm now Bipolar as well and planning to ctb. I self harm often and dream of death. Life has been a downward spiral.

I live in the UK too
Norway is a beautiful country . How did you end up in norway?

Wow you were living the dream. BPD and Bipolar are extremely difficult to live with. I hope you find happiness .

 

[BPD Barbie]

I live in the UK too
Norway is a beautiful country . How did you end up in norway?

Wow you were living the dream. BPD and Bipolar are extremely difficult to live with. I hope you find happiness .

Thank you lovely. I'm half Norwegian so I decided I wanted to spend some time there and see what it was like as I grew up in England.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm 23 now:

• have a low-paying hospital job despite having a college degree
• moved out of my parents house to live with a roommate
• life is in limbo
• am single, not interested in a relationship
• no future goals

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

If life is that bad now that I'm 22, I don't want to live to see 23.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Since I was 19 I've ended up in a psych ward every year. I've lost all my dreams such as studying in uni and lost all my friends. I have no energy and I'm constantly depressed and nervous.

 

[rebelsue]

It really bums me out to see so many people in their early 20s on here. If I could go back to my early 20s I might have had a chance to make different choices and not end up where I am now at 40, a complete loser.

When I was 22 I was in college. I already started off at a disadvantage because I didn't pick a college major at 18. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted to be. I finally found one when I was 21 and I was behind but not too behind. I made a decision at 22 to move to another state 1000 miles away WITH my abusive parents, and transfer to a university near where they lived. I could have stayed at my first school and built an independent life for myself, struggled through the adjustment of being on my own, and dealt with my issues then.

Instead, moving in with them allowed them to continue to abuse me...I was under their spell and didn't know it was wrong. I developed a chronic illness while living with them which ruined my career because it pulled me out of the workforce for 5 years while I floundered, going in and out of hospitals, quitting jobs because the symptoms got too severe. Once I got better in 2010, I was 30. I started to work full time then, but it was too late. I never took off because that 5 year gap in my resume made it impossible for me to move up to a better job. Nobody wanted me because my industry is too oversaturated and the employers hold all the cards. Now you can't even get a job WRITING ABOUT my field without a PhD.

I will never be able to financially support myself. I am living with a man who is taking care of me. He says that if I don't keep my mental health under control he will be forced to kick me out. But I own half this house. I helped remodel and fix up this land with him 5 years ago. I plan to die here, whether I am 40 or I'm 90. Either we live happily ever after and pass away an old couple together in this house, or I kill myself in this house the day he asks me to leave. That's it. It is my cradle and my grave.

When I was 22/23 I had a chance to make a different choice but I didn't see it at the time. I wish like anything I could go back to that year and choose to stay in my first school and graduate more or less on time and get myself into a job. I could have built a life for myself there without my abusive parents in my life. 23 is still really young. You've barely lived life. I used to think I was so old back then but now at 40, being ACTUALLY not young...the last time I felt young is hard to pinpoint. It just slowly slipped away.

You still have time to make different choices and salvage your adulthood.

 

[FireFox]

Thank you lovely. I'm half Norwegian so I decided I wanted to spend some time there and see what it was like as I grew up in England.

Where you working in norway?
I would love to vist norway .
Why did you come back to england?
I love england and the people . I am grateful to be living in this country.
Living in england can be stressful. Bloody hell
-Rail system outside of london is awful as trains dont come on time and rail is expensive across the country. All this money we pay and what i am getting a crap service.
- Lack of job opportunites due to decling industries and employers frequently demanding experience often unrealistic expectations
- disgusting media which blames immigrantion for lack of jobs . The media is too partisan People dont realise automation is biggest threat we are facing. As Artifical intellegence grows the less people will be needed to do certain jobs. The low skilled people will lose out the most.
- Not a lot to do if you dont like partying or drinking.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Where you working in norway?
I would love to vist norway .
Why did you come back to england?
I love england and the people . I am grateful to be living in this country.

Yeah I was working in nursing. I came back to England as my marriage fell apart and I didn't want to stay over there. Kinda the start of the end.

 

[Arrow]

not 23 yet but i imagine this shit will probably get worse.

 

[Soul]

When I was 23 I was living abroad, on my way to being a lifelong ex-pat (although that wasn't the plan at the time). I was on a student exchange program that no one else wanted to go on, so they accepted me even though I'd graduated already. (My degree was in something useless - I never expected to find employment related to it, and just studied because it provided pleasant mental exercise.)

Leaving my home country was the best thing I could have done. It was at least as good as suicide for cutting ties with my abusive family, and it led to finding work I was happy with and getting parts of myself moving in a much better direction.

I'd love to live within commuting distance of London. I know it's riddled with problems, but still: It's London, isn't it. The music and museums and take-away would keep me happy for years.

@FireFox, I've been in states of mind like what you seem to be brooding over, cross-questioning everything and feeling like my whole structure was too rickety to move forward. But you *can* move forward, and if bits fall off they're not bits you really need anyway. I hope you try. x

 

[FireFox]

It really bums me out to see so many people in their early 20s on here. If I could go back to my early 20s I might have had a chance to make different choices and not end up where I am now at 40, a complete loser.

When I was 22 I was in college. I already started off at a disadvantage because I didn't pick a college major at 18. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted to be. I finally found one when I was 21 and I was behind but not too behind. I made a decision at 22 to move to another state 1000 miles away WITH my abusive parents, and transfer to a university near where they lived. I could have stayed at my first school and built an independent life for myself, struggled through the adjustment of being on my own, and dealt with my issues then.

Instead, moving in with them allowed them to continue to abuse me...I was under their spell and didn't know it was wrong. I developed a chronic illness while living with them which ruined my career because it pulled me out of the workforce for 5 years while I floundered, going in and out of hospitals, quitting jobs because the symptoms got too severe. Once I got better in 2010, I was 30. I started to work full time then, but it was too late. I never took off because that 5 year gap in my resume made it impossible for me to move up to a better job. Nobody wanted me because my industry is too oversaturated and the employers hold all the cards. Now you can't even get a job WRITING ABOUT my field without a PhD.

I will never be able to financially support myself. I am living with a man who is taking care of me. He says that if I don't keep my mental health under control he will be forced to kick me out. But I own half this house. I helped remodel and fix up this land with him 5 years ago. I plan to die here, whether I am 40 or I'm 90. Either we live happily ever after and pass away an old couple together in this house, or I kill myself in this house the day he asks me to leave. That's it. It is my cradle and my grave.

When I was 22/23 I had a chance to make a different choice but I didn't see it at the time. I wish like anything I could go back to that year and choose to stay in my first school and graduate more or less on time and get myself into a job. I could have built a life for myself there without my abusive parents in my life. 23 is still really young. You've barely lived life. I used to think I was so old back then but now at 40, being ACTUALLY not young...the last time I felt young is hard to pinpoint. It just slowly slipped away.

You still have time to make different choices and salvage your adulthood.

Thank you
I hope you do find happiness because you do deserve happiness.
What is your field by the way?
Take care