what was your guys first attempt like.

[trulyautistic]

how was your first attempt what did you do and how did it fail and did it change anything.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Got pissed and chugged all my garbage anti-depressant. They never helped in anyway shape or form, they sucked lol. Second time made me so sick im still mildly terrified of pills to this day.

 

[trulyautistic]

Got pissed and chugged all my garbage anti-depressant. They never helped in anyway shape or form, they sucked lol. Second time made me so sick im still mildly terrified of pills to this day.

damn fuck man ig its hard to die from pills hope you are better tho and are having a good day.

 

[eyenumbing]

pathetic. tried to OD on prescription meds but all it did was give me a migraine. i ended up just sleeping it off and going back to school the day after.

 

[trulyautistic]

pathetic. tried to OD on prescription meds but all it did was give me a migraine. i ended up just sleeping it off and going back to school the day after.

damn how much of what did you take.

 

[esquizorzin]

mine was some months ago. i was desperate, so i just spend some times search about the deadliest parts of the human body and decided that i would stab my throat. i spent a few days fantasizing about that and one night when i just can't stand anything anymore i catch a knife on my kitchen and sharpened the much as i can. after that on my bedroom i tried. and tried. and tried again. and even though all i wanted was to to this i just couldn't. i moved my hand away to gain momentum. but never menage to finish.

i was so desperate to die that i don't cared. i thought that if I can't do this myself all i have to do was to asked somebody to help. so i just went to my parents bedroom and asked casually to my dad to stab my throat. of couse this didn't happen.

after that nothing more happened. i vented about some stuff and i went to bed to sleep and go to school on the morning.

i don't think failed attempt changes me so much. all that happens is that i gave up for a little and continue with my life. actually it's more like a cycle. i try >> i fail >> i gave up >> a few months or weeks pass >> i remember what makes me wanna ctb >> i try again.

 

[trulyautistic]

mine was some months ago. i was desperate, so i just spend some times search about the deadliest parts of the human body and decided that i would stab my throat. i spent a few days fantasizing about that and one night when i just can't stand anything anymore i catch a knife on my kitchen and sharpened the much as i can. after that on my bedroom i tried. and tried. and tried again. and even though all i wanted was to to this i just couldn't. i moved my hand away to gain momentum. but never menage to finish.

i was so desperate to die that i don't cared. i thought that if I can't do this myself all i have to do was to asked somebody to help. so i just went to my parents bedroom and asked casually to my dad to stab my throat. of couse this didn't happen.

after that nothing more happened. i vented about some stuff and i went to bed to sleep and go to school on the morning.

i don't think failed attempt changes me so much. all that happens is that i gave up for a little and continue with my life. actually it's more like a cycle. i try >> i fail >> i gave up >> a few months or weeks pass >> i remember what makes me wanna ctb >> i try again.

wait was like your body not going through with it or were you able to cut your neck slightly.

 

[bakenohana]

i was like 10 and i tried hanging myself with a belt despite not knowing the first thing about tying a noose and the place of hanging literally could not support my weight because it was not very firm and i was also fat as hell i gave up on it but being as stupid as i was i didn't take down the belt so my parents saw and i did kinda get an earful for it

 

[esquizorzin]

wait was like your body not going through with it or were you able to cut your neck slightly.

think it was just because of the survival instinct. stabbing yourself its not a very recommend method. i tried to get the momentum to make sure I hit the right spot but my hand always stopped before the knife was about 3 cm from my neck.

 

[trulyautistic]

i was like 10 and i tried hanging myself with a belt despite not knowing the first thing about tying a noose and the place of hanging literally could not support my weight because it was not very firm and i was also fat as hell i gave up on it but being as stupid as i was i didn't take down the belt so my parents saw and i did kinda get an earful for it

lol hopefully your parents weren't to mad.

think it was just because of the survival instinct. stabbing yourself its not a very recommend method. i tried to get the momentum to make sure I hit the right spot but my hand always stopped before the knife was about 3 cm from my neck.

yea ig at that point your natural reflects kick in and it stops you from doing that.

 

[esquizorzin]

i was like 10 and i tried hanging myself with a belt despite not knowing the first thing about tying a noose and the place of hanging literally could not support my weight because it was not very firm and i was also fat as hell i gave up on it but being as stupid as i was i didn't take down the belt so my parents saw and i did kinda get an earful for it

omg i tried hanging myself last year too i failed miserable. i looked for something to hanging myself and i spend that whole day learning about how to tie knots. i found a good place but when i was testing if the rope could hold my weight it just ripped (i was actually very dumb cus that can't even be called a rope, it was some of this things).

 

[trulyautistic]

omg i tried hanging myself last year too i failed miserable. i looked for something to hanging myself and i spend that whole day learning about how to tie knots. i found a good place but when i was testing if the rope could hold my weight it just ripped (i was actually very dumb cus that can't even be called a rope, it was some of this things).


View attachment 195649

there's no way you try to hang yourself and the rope rips crazy man only good method at this point is a bullet.

 

[bakenohana]

omg i tried hanging myself last year too i failed miserable. i looked for something to hanging myself and i spend that whole day learning about how to tie knots. i found a good place but when i was testing if the rope could hold my weight it just ripped (i was actually very dumb cus that can't even be called a rope, it was some of this things).


View attachment 195649

desperate times call for desperate measures..i get you i would've thought something like this worked if you asked me a year or two ago

 

[woofwag]

When I was 6 I tried to get my friend to stab me to death because I couldn't handle living anymore but didn't want to do it myself. She wouldn't do it ofc. I tried to slit my throat, but my tiny little kid fingers couldn't even get the switchblade open lol. Found the suicide note last year. Surreal to read.

 

[trulyautistic]

When I was 6 I tried to get my friend to stab me to death because I couldn't handle living anymore but didn't want to do it myself. She wouldn't do it ofc. I tried to slit my throat, but my tiny little kid fingers couldn't even get the switchblade open lol. Found the suicide note last year. Surreal to read.

crazy man tf was happening to you at 6 years old that made you wana do it.

 

[woofwag]

crazy man tf was happening to you at 6 years old that made you wana do it.

I was suffering from a lot of abuse :p I blocked out most of it but recently realized why I was so depressed at 6 like clearly something had to have happened lol. More depressed now than ever seeing as I now know that it definitely did. A lot of things did.

 

[esquizorzin]

there's no way you try to hang yourself and the rope rips crazy man only good method at this point is a bullet.

actually i think hanging it's one of the most successful methods! (if you have a good rope)!

this was just me being dumb.

desperate times call for desperate measures..i get you i would've thought something like this worked if you asked me a year or two ago

lol for some reason this makes me laugh
well at leat this thing became useful for my ligature method!! a win is a win!!

 

[babylxlah]

I guess technically my first attempt was at like 6 or so, I was pretty distressed one morning and when i got dropped to school I snuck out and ran into traffic. Driver was a teacher, she hit the breaks.

Back then I couldn't really justify what I did, but now looking back I most of all wanted attention via being hurt - which isn't necessarily a bad thing. You know how bad a child must feel to need attention THAT bad. Any human willing to do this deserves more attention, more ANYTHING. I hate when non-mentally ill people say 'they're doing it for attention'. Like… yeah. This IS my cry for help. So how about you try helping?

In high school I took 300 paracetamol pills in a school hallway in front of some girls in my class - my REAL first attempt imo.

 

[eyenumbing]

damn how much of what did you take.

lolll i would rather not say because its sort of embarrassing. just a lot of steroids and anti-biotics. it was really stupid.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

I've never really had an attempt. I've only practiced. Back somewhere in 2019-2021 I was testing out partial hanging before I even knew it was a thing lol. I was an amateur though. Was using a belt & was confused on why sometimes I could start to pass out & other times I didn't.

Didn't do many tests though because, since I was an amateur, I started getting large bruises on my neck. Those combined with how decrepit I looked from giving up grooming, skin care, & diet made me stop before one of my family members started asking questions.

My goal is to basically never have to do an attempt. If I ctb, I aim to nail it the first time.

 

[veryjar]

I ate apricot kernels, I only had around 10, I had 30 on my desk, I chickened out in last moment, got a mild headache.

 

[bananamatcha]

Complete failure. Thirteen years old, a handful of my prescription Prozac. I freaked out within minutes and called my sister, who then called an ambulance. Overnight in the hospital, one week in the ward.

 

[bongmentos]

fell asleep in the back of my car off a few Benny's and hella Tylenol. woke up and threw up some, tried to drive and put my hazards on to puke more, but eventually made it home to bed. drove myself to the hospital when I thought the reversal drug would no longer be effective but evidently I'm still here. they did keep me in the psych ward for weeks to milk my insurance...

 

[carfemtanyl]

I was 7 or 8 at the time so I didn't really know what I was doing and failed

 

[FuneralCry]

I haven't properly attempted as after all I exist in this horrific, dreadful anti-suicide world where I'm so cruelly denied the option to never suffer again, I always suffer so much from how I cannot just choose to peacefully cease existing so finally I can be at peace from this torturous existence I just always saw as the most terrible mistake.

It's just so horrific to me how trying to cease existing can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering and torture in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, the fact that people even have to fear this is terrible unacceptable cruelty to me, I see it as criminal to deny the option to be at peace from this dreadful existence.

 

[ShadowOfASelf]

Well I just attempted. Like actually stepped off the chair. And even though I tested my anchor point with my arm and even my body a few nights ago when I attempted but didn't step off completely but I was trying partial to get myself to pass out a bit, and it seemed pretty solid, apparently the pole isn't in my closet isn't solid enough to hold my weight for too long. I'm very thin but unfortunately I'm also a tall girl (5'8-9") and I guess that's enough weight to bend it just enough the pole fell off it's moorings

And now I have to unbend and reset the pole so my family won't be sus.

Sigh. But I did it. Stepped off the gd chair and I was ready to go. I had the noose lubed up and it got really tight and it felt good. I know I can do it. I just need to either find a better anchor point or another method.

 

[l1ablemistakes]

Was gonna OD on Valium a few years ago. Illegally bought a bottle of 50 and got through about half before chickening out. Stashed the rest and called an ambulance. The hospital didnt do anything but check if I was pregnant and test my blood for paracetamol OD. I work in healthcare/ED so I get it. We get at least a few of those every shift. So of course nobody cared and I was placed in a gurney in a hallway to pass out for about 6 hours. I told them I wouldn't do it again and they let me out without a hold, 8 hours after the OD. No stomach pump or anything. I was high for days after that.

All it did was solidify the fact that I need a stronger plan and I need to be sure I'll be successful. I'm planning FSH in about 6 months. It'll be my second and final attempt.

 

[Forveleth]

Had a half-baked scheme to knock myself out with a chloroform rag stuffed in a CPAP mask. The rag blocked all the openings so I could not breathe. The chloroform would knock me out to where I would not struggle and I would just lay there and suffocate.... Yeah, chloroform does not work like that. I quickly metabolized it and woke up within minutes. I came to with the mask already ripped off and puking on my basement floor. I was an idiot.

It did solidify my desire to die, however. As I was losing consciousness, I was not scared, I was ready. I was so upset when I woke up.

 

[NameOfAction]

Surprisingly, I've had none on my record. I always choose the most lethal way possible and then just get everything ready and not do it.

I was about 14, I sneaked out at night to jump in front of a train. I researched train schedules, found a hole in the fence that protected the tracks. I just didn't jump. Didn't even come near, watched the trains pass one after another. Went home and took a bath.

Later did basically the same with the highest building in the neighborhood (it was important to me that it's at least 12 stories, I went with 15). Got to the roof, sat there, didn't jump.

Overall I've had about a dozen non-attempts. Carried a razor, an exit bag and a gas can for a while. Idk, I'm brave enough to leave nothing to chance, but cowardly when it's actually time to do it

 

[panhandle5363]

When I was 9, I climbed onto a window sill and realized it wasn't high enough.
I forgot to answer what changed. Well, nothing changed. Thinking about it now, I'm still just as miserable as before.