Discussion What was your biggest mistake?

[Toxinebulaic]

For me, it was choosing not to share my side of a story in order to "take the high ground."

It's destroying my life to this day.

 

[TANETS]

Letting my religious ocd win and reverting back to my previous religion. I went down a strange religious rabbit hole and lost a lot of friends for being an asshat (I don't blame them) and I was shoving my religious beliefs down their throats cuz I didn't want them to go to hell.

But that's not even the worst part, I started interacting with a lot of religious extremist and ugh, it feels embarrassing to say it now. It truly rewired by brain in the worst way possible.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Becoming addicted to the internet and daydreaming, my lack of self control is a major reason why I am in this position. My mind has beaten me.

 

[TANETS]

Becoming addicted to the internet and daydreaming, my lack of self control is a major reason why I am in this position. My mind has beaten me.

Realest thing ever. I've been on the internet since the age of 10 it's probably half of the reason of my brain is mush. Mdd is also no joke

 

[Douggy82]

Before the age of 40.....not getting along with family
After the age of 40.....trusting Donald Trump with my money.

 

[Jarring]

First ill have to agree with the dude who said internet addiction because my attention span is that of a goldfish and my work ethic has dropped off in the past couple of years.

Otherwise there isnt one big mistake but a few mistakes which compounded to my current mental and material state.

Firstly not studying hard enough in secondary school, although that didnt matter much anyway because i never got any consequences anyway because I got good enough grades to enter university.

Secondly meeting certain people has had a horrible impact on my mental health, and trusting them more than people who want good for me. Pushing away the good people in my life and allowing in demons lol

And finally probably gambling because that has deteriorated my financial stability heavily

 

[lnlybnny]

Being the fastest spermatozoid

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Becoming addicted to the internet and daydreaming, my lack of self control is a major reason why I am in this position. My mind has beaten me.

I don't mean to put you on stand or anything but if you could go back and tell yourself off, do you believe you would've heeded your advice with the internet being as available and as culturally embedded as it is?

 

[thedevilwithin]

i have so many i don't even know where to begin.

 

[Downdraft]

Unironically falling for the trap that studying would secure me financially.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

This is going to sound strange, but getting so passionate about writing that I couldn't think of doing anything else. If I had chosen a passion that wasn't as difficult to succeed in or threatened by technology, I probably wouldn't be nearly as bad off as I am.

 

[deadzombie6]

Took the wrong course in college and later realised that I don't even wanna study that and now I'm stuck for years in my toxic home cuz I can't pay for my own fees . My second biggest regret was fighting with my bestfriend 3 years ago moreover I've wallowed so much in my self pity that at this point I can't fix my own life and anyway I feel like it's too late for anything

 

[Tarinel]

I was born intersex in a third world country, assigned female at birth, developed more masculine feature as I grew up, found out that I'm intersex when I was 13 just before I joined high school (a girls' only boarding school which was a really good school), ended up being depressed, joined a day school for both boys and girls (which was not a good school) but that didn't help and I ended being more depressed. My life went downhill after that.

I regret not talking to a trusted adult about my mental struggles that came with being intersex because I'm sure that I would be at a different place right now. I made life-changing decisions when I was only 13 and 14. Now I feel like it is too late even though I'm in a western country now, still young and have access to therapy and other resources that I didn't have in the third world country.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Neglecting the people that did the most for me in life because I was too caught up in my job.

 

[ElVato]

Probably letting my family come apart. When my dad died, the entire family shattered; he was the glue that kept eveybody under control. His death happened when I was already severely depressed, so it just made it worse. I know it sounds cliché, but I think I should've man'd up and calm everybody.

Everybody started tearing at each other, years of traumas and and revenges/paybacks were unleashed at once. While I didn't have any quarrel with anybody, I was forced to take a side. I lost my entire family because of that decision. I blocked myself out of any inheritances or even just plain family help. Nowadays, I hear everyone at work, how they live with their families in big houses, how they contribute to the family income with a fraction of their pay while saving up for buying their own place in the future or hell, even just being able to buy stuff they need without having to count cents.

I can't help feeling extremely jealous. Not that I wish harm on them or anything, but it keeps reminding me of how I'm on my own. A good chunk of my pay is insta melted by rent and services every month, groceries are more expensive each month, and not to mention my medicines. No matter how hard I work, I feel like I won't be able to get anywhere on my own; not in the current day and age.

This is a big part of why I consider my life is not worth living. The amount of strife that I'm enduring now is just the beginning, and it will get much worse without the slightest hint of ever starting to get a little less bad.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

I stayed in places i shouldn't have been in and left places i should've stayed at.
lost all my friendships due to my fears of showing vulnerability and still can't make new connections for the same reason
disappointed both of my parents

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think it would be not trying to understand and empathise with my sister when she was alive. She was the only person irl who I knew was suffering from depression and didn't fully accept the pro life views that my mum was telling her. I was too scared to interact with her since she was rude to me but I understand now that her rudeness was a trauma response from dealing with shitty people. I only understood that a few months after she died as I find myself being rude to pro lifers due to how those bastards want me to suffer in existence for as long as possible.

That said, I wouldn't go back in time to try and rectify that. Who knows, perhaps me trying to rectify this could cause her to not die a few months ago and instead live on until old age which is just something that I don't want to risk

 

[endlessmelancholy]

My birth

 

[FuneralCry]

It was suffering in this existence in the first place, existence itself will always feel like a terrible, horrific mistake to me that just causes endless amounts of suffering and cruelty, I never should have existed at all. I was never meant for the cruel, torturous burden of human existence, more than anything I wish this existence was never imposed as never existing would have saved me from all this suffering, I find existence to be deeply undesirable in every single way, I'd never wish for existence and it brings me so much pain how I cannot just have the option to die in peace and never suffer ever again.

 

[limerance1]

Failing 3 colleges in a row lol

 

[pariah80]

Not knowing what I didn't know.

 

[s-w]

mistreating the person who matters to me the most in the world and taking out all my frustrations on her. taking her for granted.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Stock market

 

[CozyTime]

Not being good enough to stop my first girlfriend from taking her own life.

I was high, she literally died in my arms and I didn't even know. I'm not as suicidal anymore but anytime I think about that fact for even a second its all I can think about.

 

[Unleashtherain]

Mushrooms at 19. It started my treatment resistant schizoaffective disorder. If I could only go back.

 

[divinemistress36]

Being born

 

[Sutter]

Biggest mistake…

That is a monumental question of epic impact for me. Suffice to say my mistakes in lack of caring or not being inquisitive enough stretch a long way through the desert of ones life.

The biggest though is a bit difficult as there is a great many things I owe for. I will settle on the earliest one I can think of.

At 7 years old realizing my father's level of disdain, hate, and beatings were different from other children, I survived. That survival was a life saver but also a lode stone. The error was I had shut my own heart down, not just for myself and my own protection but against the world as a whole. It was not fire and raining hell everyday, there were more than a few moments of helping others. However, that early formed primary distance, I think made it more than difficult to accept closeness from other people.

So I grew up a bit of a recluse became a fox with a silverback fury response to violence, my few moments of surviving as a kit turned in to a lifetime of personal warfare. That first thread I had seen and noticed at times, now though it has become more stark like a full winter moon slowly crossing the sky this night.

Some things cant be fixed, changed, or fully atoned for. Some times its just looking hard or patiently at yourself and accepting, seeing, feeling, owning the worst you have done in life and when that is done quietly dumbfound yourself with knowing that is what you think/know you did wrong but spare a thought for all the careless tromping that you didnt know about.

My biggest mistake was surviving as I was beaten, with no mercy.

 

[cinnamonstix]

Introducing my partner to harder drugs. He was also an alcoholic when I met him, did psychs every once in a while but I was extremely into powders. He asked if he could try it and I said sure. He got way worse than me, had traumatic freak outs on them and everytime they happened I knew it was my fault. He's OK now, I was the supplier, never gave him any connections to my sources so when I cut him off it was over. He doesn't know how bad my addiction is still to these things but, I still regret ever showing it to him, because now he knows what it's like

 

[hereornot]

The biggest thing was saving my mother's life, a cluster B, when her entire family had already abandoned her to death. I saved her life, went bankrupt and still had to endure the typical attacks of a cluster B.

If you have a relative like that, don't try to save them. There is no salvation. Only ruin for those who try.

 

[_RustyLeaf321]

For me, it was choosing not to share my side of a story in order to "take the high ground."

It's destroying my life to this day.

Telling my psy that i was thinking about suicide,i hadn't the mind really clear that week,so it just kinda of came out of my mouth but regretted instantly. It hadn't any direct impacts thanlfully,but i knew that from that day,she would be ware of it,and it kind of removed some of my "mobility"/"freedpm" to do what i wanted.
At first when i went to a psychologist for the first time,i wanted to talk about my feelings,but also have this emergency backdoor which is basically CTB,but now,if i get close to the "sad" and stressful aspect of my life,i know she will be more eyes opened and could eventually call my family,which i want to avoid at all cost,but also,she's a good psy,so i don't want to change.

I'm feeling quite stuck now.. that's why i stopped seeing her at a time,also i was feeling better,but now i just kinda don't have the courage to CTB even though i think it would make things easier :(
So i'm gonna see her again and avoid this subject as much as i can,it's been about 10month since i haven't seen her so i'm a bit nervous but i'll be fine