Help What type of CTB would be appropriate for me if someone else died instead of me in an accident

[how2toGetout]

What type of CTB would be appropriate for me if someone else died for me instead in an accident.. and i feel it's my fault and that i am responsible for that someone's death.. i feel a lot of guilt, but when it comes to killing myself i become a coward..

I thought i could use nitrogen method but now i don't feel innocent about myself to die peacefully..

i tried jumping twice but each time i was there i froze up and my body became paralyzed and i couldn't do it. i really need some kind of help.. please PM me for advice..

 

[how2toGetout]

Don't hurt anyone else

I didn't hurt anyone. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone. There was an accident. Someone was killed indirectly because of my fault. What should i do.. i don't know how to continue with the guilt except to block the memory and pretend i have no fault.. but the guilt keeps coming back.. i feel haunted every day..
i need help.. what type of CTB method would be right for me.. and someone who died in an accident died painfully..
please someone PM me.. i suffer every minute every day..

 

[Ghost2211]

That is a terrible burden to live with. Have you tried therapy? It does help some people. Accidents aren't your fault. It's sad someone died, but death is part of life.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It's like you're asking us fellow members to find you guilty of murder, condemn you to death row, and decide the means of execution.

If a jury hasn't done that, then you're not guilty. Life is fragile, and accidents happen that cause lives to end, every single day, in every country.

I hope you'll talk to us here and/or talk to a trauma-informed therapist. There are treatments such as EMDR and emotional freedom technique. PTSD results from having been powerless, such methods can potentially help you reclaim your power and your self worth. Normally I think cognitive behavioral therapy for PTSD is pretty lame, but guilt is a message or a series of messages, and CBT can help identify those messages and change your thinking so the messages lose their power.

I sincerely hope no one PMs you with suggestions for ctb'ing. I would be incredibly wary of such a person and talk to a mod about the communication before pursing it further. A safe person is not going to advise you of methods for something like this.

 

[autumnal]

 

[Nutshell]

You've said yourself that you "feel guilty", "it was an accident" and "you never want to hurt any anyone".

Stop punishing yourself. It was an accident.

I'm not going to tell you or anyone else what to do but in my opinion if you really have strained every resource available to help you and cannot find it within you to forgive yourself the least you can offer yourself is a peaceful way out.

Peace.