What traumas have you experienced?

[Silent_cries]

Just curious to see what kind of traumas are the most common. Couldn't fit them all sadly so feel free to comment any I missed.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

 

[yellowjester]

Being neurodivergent at a german school. Spoiler: it's not fun.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I'm glad someone else said none first. Same for me and it just makes me feel even weirder like why don't I have a reason for everything?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Bullying/ abuse and bereavement- mostly in early childhood. I'd say bereavement can cause trauma.

 

[trashhologram]

Mental, physical, financial and sexual abuse. Being bullied. Toxic relationships. Seeing my cat be in shock and being euthanized (him being in shock from internal bleeding was more traumatising than the euthanasia and burying him).

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Ummm.. I suck at math but the percentages on the pole answers add up to way more than 100.

 

[Buffy]

I was sexually assaulted a few times in my younger years, but I don't think I have any lasting trauma from it. I might be a bit more distrustful of people, but that could just be because I'm a paranoid person.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I was physically abused and yelled at by my father a lot, usually for getting bad grades or doing anything he considered messy or unclean. He'd usually just spank me with a riding crop for horses or he'd demand that I kneel on a hard floor for hours until I behaved. My mother was never abusive but seeing her always get yelled at by him and her yelling back in Chinese was fairly traumatizing as well though I used to just tune it out by watching a lot of television. From what I hear from other Asians, this stuff is pretty standard so the fact I came out so wrong and couldn't handle it all says more about me than it does about my parents though.

I thought I've never been sexually abused but one of my dad's punishments might have bordered on that territory. When I was 15 I lied to my dad about having to go to summer school for my biology class. He got so mad when he found out that he punched me hard enough to create a black eye, then he made me strip to my underwear with the word "LIAR" written on me in sharpie and then forced me to do the kneeling thing outside in the cold of the night. I don't think this was sexual for him because he didn't even watch me do it but it might have counted to the courts when I was taken away from him afterwards.

Another instant that might have qualified is around 2017 when one of my best friends, who I knew was gay and who even came out to me first, suddenly started trying to touch and rub me a lot while I was hanging out at his house. I was trying to ignore him while playing Pokémon Sun on my 3DS so I didn't pay it much attention at the time but it only occurred to me years later that he was trying to molest me and that him feeling guilty about it is probably why we drifted apart as friends. I'm lucky he didn't take it much further though I was wearing shorts and he did touch my bare thigh a lot and now that I think about it it's really gross to me. I'm so stupid that it never occurred to me that he might have had a thing for me even though I guess I was the first one he came out of the closet to and I was just trying to accept him as a friend back then. I consider this my fault for not being gay though. I'm sure if I was I would have been fine with it and indeed if he was a woman I probably would have embraced it which makes me even more disgusting.

All in all that's about the worst of it which isn't even that bad compared to the suffering of so many others I've known both here and in real life. I did get bullied a bit as a child for being the poorest and stupidest kid at my private school but we were all Asians so there was no racism involved. I also used to get made fun of for being so physically weak at the time but I'm confident in my lack of physical fitness because it would have made me more like my dad. He had brains and brawn what with his many marathon running awards and PhD in electrical engineering. I guess there was also microdoses of neglect in my childhood like when my parents would take too long to pick me up from somewhere but I don't really hold that against them.

 

[WildAtHeart]

Molestation as a child, physical and emotional abuse from my parents as a kid, bullying as a kid

Mainly a mix of these

 

[CloudyCoffe]

I was physically abused and yelled at by my father a lot, usually for getting bad grades or doing anything he considered messy or unclean. He'd usually just spank me with a riding crop for horses or he'd demand that I kneel on a hard floor for hours until I behaved. My mother was never abusive but seeing her always get yelled at by him and her yelling back in Chinese was fairly traumatizing as well though I used to just tune it out by watching a lot of television. From what I hear from other Asians, this stuff is pretty standard so the fact I came out so wrong and couldn't handle it all says more about me than it does about my parents though.

I thought I've never been sexually abused but one of my dad's punishments might have bordered on that territory. When I was 15 I lied to my dad about having to go to summer school for my biology class. He got so mad when he found out that he punched me hard enough to create a black eye, then he made me strip to my underwear with the word "LIAR" written on me in sharpie and then forced me to do the kneeling thing outside in the cold of the night. I don't think this was sexual for him because he didn't even watch me do it but it might have counted to the courts when I was taken away from him afterwards.

Another instant that might have qualified is around 2017 when one of my best friends, who I knew was gay and who even came out to me first, suddenly started trying to touch and rub me a lot while I was hanging out at his house. I was trying to ignore him while playing Pokémon Sun on my 3DS so I didn't pay it much attention at the time but it only occurred to me years later that he was trying to molest me and that him feeling guilty about it is probably why we drifted apart as friends. I'm lucky he didn't take it much further though I was wearing shorts and he did touch my bare thigh a lot and now that I think about it it's really gross to me. I'm so stupid that it never occurred to me that he might have had a thing for me even though I guess I was the first one he came out of the closet to and I was just trying to accept him as a friend back then. I consider this my fault for not being gay though. I'm sure if I was I would have been fine with it and indeed if he was a woman I probably would have embraced it which makes me even more disgusting.

All in all that's about the worst of it which isn't even that bad compared to the suffering of so many others I've known both here and in real life. I did get bullied a bit as a child for being the poorest and stupidest kid at my private school but we were all Asians so there was no racism involved. I also used to get made fun of for being so physically weak at the time but I'm confident in my lack of physical fitness because it would have made me more like my dad. He had brains and brawn what with his many marathon running awards and PhD in electrical engineering. I guess there was also microdoses of neglect in my childhood like when my parents would take too long to pick me up from somewhere but I don't really hold that against them.

Man, I shed a few tears reading this. That's brutal. Maybe more than you realize because I do get a sense of you being a little detached and numb while describing this. Some parts remind me of my dad a bit who could be cruel at times.

 

[OldManOfTheLake]

Here are two excerpts from the letter I am writing.

excerpt 1:

In 19xx, my dad OD'd on Ketamine while he was an officer in the Air Force, I was 6 at the time and my sister was 14. He was a pharmacist, and he stole drugs from the pharmacy and overdosed when my mom gave him an injection. I do not know if it was a murder attempt, attempted suicide, or a screw up. If she had killed him, it would have drastically improved my life. I heard a scream and I went into the master bedroom. We typically were not allowed in the master bedroom bathroom, but there were pills and needles everywhere. My mom sent me to my neighbors and my sister was told to pick up the needles, put them in a 2 liter coke bottle, and throw them away somewhere. She only had a learners permit, but she was able to throw away the bottle in a garbage bin by a McDonald's after being pricked by a few needles. I just went to my neighbors and played video games.

excerpt 2:

Now let's go to the abuse. I will start with a story my half-brother told me. He is currently dying from cancer. My dad was a terrible neighbor as you could imagine. In fact he was so bad you would feel bad for any Home Owner's Association he was in, and that is quite the feat. Anyhow my dad would frequently fight with his neighbor, and my half brother was actually dating that neighbor's daughter (serious Romeo and Juliet vibes). One day my dad was worried he would have another altercation with this neighbor, and asked my half-brother to grab an SKS rifle and put it in his room (my brother lived on the second story of the house, with his window facing the front door). My dad told him to point the rifle at the neighbors head and if my dad gave a signal, my half brother was to fire the SKS and kill him. My half-brother did what he was told and fortunately did not have to shoot. From my speculation, my guess is that dad would have thrown my mother under the bus. When the neighbor left, he breathed a huge sigh of relief and had an anxiety attack.

I won't go into mine because I always tear up writing those parts of the letter. It was just so fucking bad.

And yes, he is in prison. Thank fucking God.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Failing big in life in 40s and not being able to recover the life I want = trauma to me.

 

[SA1994EC]

When I was young, my parents were so abusive, and I was bullied at school so much. I had no friends or anyone who I could turn to. I was totally alone. I lost a chance to learn how to interact and make a connection with others. That totally set my life. Now I am very old, poor and zero connection to any human beings.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I did get bullied but I wouldn't really call it traumatic as I forgot most of it already. Same goes to me getting beat up by parents during childhood

 

[ZeroM24]

Being alive and experiencing this completely insane universe.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

A lot of people say I've experienced emotional abuse at the hands of my parents, but at the same time, that's just the way the culture rolls. Plus, I don't remember most of my childhood (and any memories I do have are hazy at best), so I tend to view my own "abuse" skeptically.

 

[charcoalcat]

Being raised by narcissists. Some people shouldn't breed.

 

[Kassender]

emotional abuse and neglect by narcissist parents and sister

No safe place or relationship

completely unable to form deep connections, all the ´people i loved´ never loved me back

i´d be completely invisible at school, ridiculed at best and then come back ´home´ where my sister humiliated me every chance she got.
For a decade.

It didn't stop when i left and i kept getting stabbed in the back by partners or close friends

Or they´d just reveal themselves to be complete narcissists and treated me horribly until i left