What societal norm do you find most bizarre?

[Final_Choice]

What societal norm do you find most bizarre, and how would you change it if you could?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

i h8 basically all of them, but i guess the main one that irks me the most is the need for positivity. it trumps everything else for ppl. logic, honesty, reality. in turn, it causes the fixation & constant need the majority of society has on kindness. they also value it more than logic, honesty, & realityi find it nauseating.

i would change it so that logic & honesty are the most valued traits. logic would keep the honesty in check, so that it wouldn't turn into smthg like unnecessary bullying under the guise of 'honesty'. ppl could stop lying & pretending certain shitty qualities/lives/ppl/behaviors/things aren't shitty, & maybe we could get around to actually eradicating said shittiness & start evolving as a whole, instead of devolving like we currently are.

 

[sserafim]

To be honest, all of them, especially small talk. I don't know why people talk about trivial and meaningless things like that. Also, when people ask you how you're feeling or doing. They don't actually care, it's just a social norm. The default answer has to be "good" or "okay" even if you're not. I agree with @hikikomorizombie, I don't understand why people have such a strong need for positivity. Negativity is a part of life too. Everyone is smiling and happy all the time, and you can't be sad because it'll "bring down the mood". I wish that people weren't so optimistic and toxically positive, I wish that there wasn't a societal expectation to be happy and that it was more acceptable to be sad. I also think that people are blinded by an illusion of happiness which they have to maintain, and if they actually got in touch with themselves they would feel empty inside.

 

[Final_Choice]

i h8 basically all of them, but i guess the main one that irks me the most is the need for positivity. it trumps everything else for ppl. logic, honesty, reality. in turn, it causes the fixation & constant need the majority of society has on kindness. they also value it more than logic, honesty, & realityi find it nauseating.

Positivity is a big one and very annoying so I agree. To me it feels like they're brainwashed/blinded by pure positivity and have it override everything else, regardless of what it is and completely disregarding what the person might be feeling. It comes across as spreading a belief rather than an emotion based on how much it's encouraged.

 

[R_N]

Fakeness.

 

[sserafim]

Fakeness.

I hate this as well, everyone seems so fake and superficial.

 

[Final_Choice]

Tbh all of them, especially small talk. Idk why people talk about trivial and meaningless things like that. Also when they ask how you're feeling. They don't actually care, it's just a social norm. The default answer also has to be "good" or "okay" even if you're not okay. I agree with @hikikomorizombie, I don't know why people have such a strong need for positivity. Everyone is smiling and happy all the time, and you can't be sad or down because it'll "bring down the mood". I wish that people weren't so optimistic and toxically positive, I wish there wasn't a societal expectation to be happy and that it was more okay to be sad. I also think that people are blinded by an illusion of happiness which they have to maintain, and if they actually got in touch with themselves they would feel empty inside.

Small talk really does seem completely useless, I don't understand why it's even a thing if there's no point to it besides making needless conversation which probably isn't even engaging or entertaining in any way.

Fakeness.

Agreed, if people weren't so fake and were generally more honest everything would probably be better.

 

[R_N]

Agreed, if people weren't so fake and were generally more honest everything would probably be better.

I don't think it would be better, but people not being genuine is something straight out of horror movie. I always imagine someone slicing a person up while asking them how their day was and making exaggerated facial expressions.

 

[Final_Choice]

I don't think it would be better, but people not being genuine is something straight out of horror movie. I always imagine someone slicing a person up while asking them how their day was and making exaggerated facial expressions.

That's fair, I still think that at least if people were genuine we wouldn't have systems which exploit others, so a lot of factors of capitalism would be weakened and we'd be forced to adopt something more generalized. Also, I feel like needless positivity would lower and suicide would eventually be seen as less of a negative thing to do but something neutral. These are just things in a macro-scale though, individuals could start acting like that which probably isn't the best thing.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Childbirth.
Not shooting pedos and rapists.
Smalltalk.
No assisted dying anytime.
Grind mentality.
Fake Peace.
Breeding Mindgames (Relationships)

The last one i don't personally care for but i often see these tinder things on youtube and it just looks pathetic, all that effort just to ride dick or a pussy...

Normies man, no wonder their brains can't think of anything else haha

 

[aWeeBitTired]

Not talking about death, suicide, or about the finite life we have. At least with us Americans, I myself can't seem to genuinely talk about it with others.

 

[dragonofenvy]

How people are just never honest and direct. They pussyfoot around topics, don't let you discuss certain things because of taboos or whatever, and expect you to be genuine, but not too genuine you have to hide the parts they don't like, which are a lot, and then they whine about how nobody's ever honest. Also the whole thing with being open-minded and all that yet practicing the exact opposite. I've had it with the dishonesty, fakeness, and hypocrisy since you can never have an honest open talk with anyone.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

The one I find the most bizarre is how people continue to lie to each other. Also, this wouldn't have crossed my mind if @hikikomorizombie didn't say it but the need to always be positive is definitely one bizarre societal norm too. A reason why I like this site is because it isn't just positive bs.. there's realism here and a lot of it

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Not normalising assisted suicide for severely ill people. (Still illegal in my country)

Lack of social and work support for high functioning people on autistic spectrum.

Disregard and lack of research of female health issues.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Societal norms are pretty much dependent on certain regions, believes, dominating religion and many other factors. Each society has weird and crazy norms that result of a behavior these societies had since centuries or even thousands of years. Most of them don't fit into the life of the 21st century.

The 21st century may one day become the century of transition.

 

[littlelungs]

I have to agree with the small talk, especially with strangers I'm never going to see again, but also just in general. One time in my early 20s I actually climbed out my kitchen window just to avoid crossing paths and having to make small talk with my landlord on the way outside, so... whoops.

I also strongly agree with the forced positivity thing, and generally having to tiptoe around topics and not being able to just be real with people, such as simply not being able to give an honest answer when asked how you're doing. Life is not all sunshine and rainbows, but some people just really can't accept that. I think that this need for positivity at all times also comes (at least in part) from the fact that the world can just be so terrible that people generally feel the need to force this positivity, turn the other cheek and bury their heads in the sand in order to cope, because the real world is just too brutal.

Again, completely agree with the whole "not legalizing assisted suicide for severely ill people" thing, even if they're not "terminal" in the classical sense. If someone suffers from (a) chronic, degenerative and/or refractory illness(es), is unresponsive to treatment or for which there is simply no approved treatment or cure, period, and it causes them unbearable suffering and leaves them with no quality of life, then who the hell are we to deny them at least the option and the means for a peaceful death, instead of confining them to their own indefinite suffering so that their only other option is to resort to a non-peaceful means of finally ending their pain? The lack of perspective when it comes to this issue is absolutely astounding.

Also, I saw a Twitter post a few years back that says something along the lines of, "Saying you're trying for a baby always gets people excited, but saying you creampie your spouse on a regular basis is socially unacceptable." I mean, they're not wrong, lol.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

Kicking your kids out/expecting them to be out when they're 18 (especially when it doesn't look like they're ready at all). It seems to be THE common thing here. I've seen in other countries that just isn't the case and also in certain families, like on my dad's side, people will live with each other for years.

It's for independence, I suppose, but if you have a semi-ok relationship with your family and they still want you around--I don't see why you need to be out by a certain age, especially with how tough it is to find housing and jobs right now. I always hated the "you still live with ur parents/u live in ur mother's basement" insults because to me it's like... Well, yes? Why is it an insult to have some financial stability and a roof over my head?

I guess if you're in a relationship and they don't wanna come over to see your dad lounging around, it can be embarrassing, maybe. By that point though you're hopefully ready to move out and have all the motivation and financially are well enough you need for it too.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

"Feelings before facts". It tends to give birth to delays in decision making regarding issues and forces people to be what they are not.

 

[sserafim]

Also, I saw a Twitter post a few years back that says something along the lines of, "Saying you're trying for a baby always gets people excited, but saying you creampie your spouse on a regular basis is socially unacceptable." I mean, they're not wrong, lol.

This is so weird to me. Like personally I find s*x gross and disgusting (never even had it before though lol).

 

[littlelungs]

Gender reveal parties by parents-to-be. "Yeah, let's get a bunch of our adult family and friends together and celebrate whether our baby is going to be born with a penis or a vagina! Also, that's going to determine the colour of the cake and balloons we get for the occasion, too!"

Bizarre. Quite a few of the social norms surrounding pregnancy and giving birth are generally pretty fucking odd, now that I think about it.

 

[wait.what]

I hate how it's considered just fine to treat other people like they're worthless and expendable, until they're at the point where they're actually trying to die. Then everyone has to freak out, send the cops to drag them to the loony bin, and have doctors forcibly medicate them until they promise never to try to die again (or until their insurance benefits run out, whichever comes first). Then when they get out, everyone treats them even worse.

Around and around and around we go…the spin cycle of "mental health."

 

[littlelungs]

I hate how it's considered just fine to treat other people like they're worthless and expendable, until they're at the point where they're actually trying to die. Then everyone has to freak out, send the cops to drag them to the loony bin, and have doctors forcibly medicate them until they promise never to try to die again (or until their insurance benefits run out, whichever comes first). Then when they get out, everyone treats them even worse.

Around and around and around we go…the spin cycle of "mental health."

YES! And then if someone actually does die, everyone says, "I wish they would have just talked to someone/gotten help/called the hotline, suicide is never the answer, temporary solution to a permanent problem, end the stigma, if you or someone you know..." You know the drill. It's all so dysfunctional.