ConfusedHurting2632
Student
- Dec 22, 2021
- 132
If I need to be specific, I've been on 6 medications so far. Lexapro, Abilify, Latuda, Invega, Prozac, and Effexor XR, in that exact order. The milligrams were if I recall correctly, 20, 10, 20, 6, 20, and 150. They are antidepressants and antipsychotics. None of them seemed to exactly help out my case, and they often made me feel or act weird.
When I was 18 through a period of a couple of months I went through Lexapro through Prozac. At first I was taking Lexapro and Abilify at the same time. It was unclear which one, but I had apparently turned pretty robotic/zombie-like, and had a very stiff neck, and walked with my arms weird as if I had injured them. Then I tried Lexapro and Latuda at the same time. I didn't notice much of an effect on Latuda, but it seemed I had terrible night terrors a couple of times where I woke up screaming when trying to get off it. Then I tried Invega, which just made everything so dull and boring and pleasureless. On Invega I pretty much just laid in bed, because everything was so boring anyway and I couldn't get pleasure from anything. I tried getting up and doing stuff, but everything was just so boring that it didn't matter. Then came Prozac, where I basically went manic while on it. I got naked in a public swimming pool 3 times while on it, and I began tossing stuff out the window...I was happy on it, but also very reckless and thoughtless, to the point where I put myself or others in danger. This whole process was over a couple of months. Like 6-8 months.
The reason I went on all these medications in the first place was because I was feeling really depressed and suicidal, and dealing with anxiety. I had been feeling that way for quite a while, and it was especially bad at age 17, but age 18 was when I finally reached out for help with a therapist and everything. The only thing I found weird was Google said some of these medications, namely Abilify, Latuda, and Invega (all antipsychotics) were for schizophrenia? Like depression and anxiety did cause a lot of bad, invasive thoughts, that were almost like hearing voices, but I'm not sure that's the same as actually hearing voices.
Then at age 19 I had no medications throughout the whole year. I was relatively okay, though my mood was kind of up and down I guess.
Then at age 20 (and aka my current age) however my depression and suicidal thoughts came back. So my parents and I decided to put me back on medications. The psychiatrist prescribed one for me known as Effexor XR for 150mg. At first it seemed to help quite a lot, but then the problems became clear. Like Prozac, I experienced mania while on it. But along with mania, I also had extremely bipolar mood swings, between happiness and extreme anger and rage. It made me feel really, really good, but also really, really angry. I had broken my parent's expensive TV while on it, punched a hole in the wall, and on the streets I was walking around flipping everybody off and wanting to pick fights with random people passing by in cars. I also became seemingly incapable of controlling my bodily functions, and would piss and shit myself at home. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital 3 times while on this medication. I basically stayed at the hospital 1 week, then at home 1 week, then at the hospital 1 week...it was consecutive.
Overall, Effexor XR was by far the worst and most dangerous medication I've tried, with Prozac not far behind. Both of them being antidepressants. I don't like to self-diagnose, but the extreme reactions I had while on them seem extremely indicative of bipolar or aka manic depression.
Of course I had to stop taking Effexor XR...and just so I'm in already familiar territory, I went back to taking the first 4 medications: Lexapro, Abilify, Latuda, and Invega. I took them while in the psychiatric hospital. They weren't exactly good, but compared to Prozac and Effexor XR...the Abilify was included in a 400mg shot/injection, which made me feel a good relaxed after taking it. Though after leaving the hospital they told me to just take the Lexapro and Latuda, which is what I'm taking currently.
And currently...I feel okay I guess. Not amazing, but not bad either. But at the same time things kind of feel bland and boring, without much magic or excitement. While Effexor XR was overall a net negative for me, I kind of miss the happy mania emotions that came with it, which made me feel very alive, though obviously I could do without the extreme anger and recklessness/stupidity it caused. Not sure if the blandness I currently feel is due to Lexapro and Latuda being wrong medications for me, or if I'm just "adjusting" or whatever.
As you can see by the end of this, my "relationship" with medications has been quite the journey...lol. I'm aware this is the type of thing to bring up more to a psychiatrist than people online, but I also just kind of wanted my story out there, and see if people can relate and/or give insight to something obvious I might be missing.
When I was 18 through a period of a couple of months I went through Lexapro through Prozac. At first I was taking Lexapro and Abilify at the same time. It was unclear which one, but I had apparently turned pretty robotic/zombie-like, and had a very stiff neck, and walked with my arms weird as if I had injured them. Then I tried Lexapro and Latuda at the same time. I didn't notice much of an effect on Latuda, but it seemed I had terrible night terrors a couple of times where I woke up screaming when trying to get off it. Then I tried Invega, which just made everything so dull and boring and pleasureless. On Invega I pretty much just laid in bed, because everything was so boring anyway and I couldn't get pleasure from anything. I tried getting up and doing stuff, but everything was just so boring that it didn't matter. Then came Prozac, where I basically went manic while on it. I got naked in a public swimming pool 3 times while on it, and I began tossing stuff out the window...I was happy on it, but also very reckless and thoughtless, to the point where I put myself or others in danger. This whole process was over a couple of months. Like 6-8 months.
The reason I went on all these medications in the first place was because I was feeling really depressed and suicidal, and dealing with anxiety. I had been feeling that way for quite a while, and it was especially bad at age 17, but age 18 was when I finally reached out for help with a therapist and everything. The only thing I found weird was Google said some of these medications, namely Abilify, Latuda, and Invega (all antipsychotics) were for schizophrenia? Like depression and anxiety did cause a lot of bad, invasive thoughts, that were almost like hearing voices, but I'm not sure that's the same as actually hearing voices.
Then at age 19 I had no medications throughout the whole year. I was relatively okay, though my mood was kind of up and down I guess.
Then at age 20 (and aka my current age) however my depression and suicidal thoughts came back. So my parents and I decided to put me back on medications. The psychiatrist prescribed one for me known as Effexor XR for 150mg. At first it seemed to help quite a lot, but then the problems became clear. Like Prozac, I experienced mania while on it. But along with mania, I also had extremely bipolar mood swings, between happiness and extreme anger and rage. It made me feel really, really good, but also really, really angry. I had broken my parent's expensive TV while on it, punched a hole in the wall, and on the streets I was walking around flipping everybody off and wanting to pick fights with random people passing by in cars. I also became seemingly incapable of controlling my bodily functions, and would piss and shit myself at home. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital 3 times while on this medication. I basically stayed at the hospital 1 week, then at home 1 week, then at the hospital 1 week...it was consecutive.
Overall, Effexor XR was by far the worst and most dangerous medication I've tried, with Prozac not far behind. Both of them being antidepressants. I don't like to self-diagnose, but the extreme reactions I had while on them seem extremely indicative of bipolar or aka manic depression.
Of course I had to stop taking Effexor XR...and just so I'm in already familiar territory, I went back to taking the first 4 medications: Lexapro, Abilify, Latuda, and Invega. I took them while in the psychiatric hospital. They weren't exactly good, but compared to Prozac and Effexor XR...the Abilify was included in a 400mg shot/injection, which made me feel a good relaxed after taking it. Though after leaving the hospital they told me to just take the Lexapro and Latuda, which is what I'm taking currently.
And currently...I feel okay I guess. Not amazing, but not bad either. But at the same time things kind of feel bland and boring, without much magic or excitement. While Effexor XR was overall a net negative for me, I kind of miss the happy mania emotions that came with it, which made me feel very alive, though obviously I could do without the extreme anger and recklessness/stupidity it caused. Not sure if the blandness I currently feel is due to Lexapro and Latuda being wrong medications for me, or if I'm just "adjusting" or whatever.
As you can see by the end of this, my "relationship" with medications has been quite the journey...lol. I'm aware this is the type of thing to bring up more to a psychiatrist than people online, but I also just kind of wanted my story out there, and see if people can relate and/or give insight to something obvious I might be missing.
