What should I do about my ex?

[OminousDarkness]

I recently got out of a toxic relationship and decided to message one of my old exes on Instagram. We were together for five years, and she was my first love. After not speaking for a few years, it felt amazing when she replied. Now that we're talking again, I realize I still love her and want to be with her.

That said, I know she needs time for herself—she's dealing with a lot, including her job and grieving the loss of her mother. I've told her that I'll always be there for her no matter what because my feelings for her are so strong.

But if I can't get her back, I feel hopeless, even suicidal at times. It's hard to imagine life without her. She's shared that I caused her trust issues and trauma, which hurts to hear because I know I made mistakes. She also said she hates people who do drugs, and during our relationship, I struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. I know I hurt her, and I deeply regret it.

Since then, I've turned my life around. I'm sober now, and I've told her how much I've changed. I've also expressed how much I love her and that she was the best girlfriend I've ever had.

This situation is so heavy on my heart. Any advice would mean the world to me.

 

[Worndown]

You had a few relationship issues that caused a breakup.
Learn from these.

 

[unworthy_]

She needs time. Support her while not pressuring her into the relationship. Once a woman is broken, she is broken forever. I hope you well. Get better