what makes you not being able to part of any group

[netrezven]

Just need to write something, that's bothering me during my hole life. I never was part of a group. Never had this company of many friends going out. I had this time, but never felt secure or that this people are real friends. It always comes to the point when envy and gossip shows up. Or some girl in the company got a crush on me, without reason. It's not like i don't care for others, but i don't comment them behind their backs. And when this happens to me i really can't simply ignore and threat people at the same level. Do you feel the same when someone is telling lies behind your back?
I think i lost some "friends" lately. Many to be honest. I got the reasons, and it really hurts. Just need your opinion.
How is it possible for people not wanting you around simply because you got a new car(you don't give a fck about) or some crazy "btch"(you had no idea) got a crush on you? This happens to me every time, one by one.

 

[Empty Smile]

I quit caring long ago what people said about me, or what lies they spread. If they can't say it to my face, then they can take a fucking hike. I have enough issues in my life to deal with over their petty little 3rd grade bullshit.

As hard as this sounds to make yourself do, once you over come the will to not care what others think of you, you will feel better. I learned this on my own.

 

[not_a_robot]

I gave up all social relations at 24 for the reasons you listed, and the only time I've ever regretted it is when I need references for a job or apartment; I know no one.
Other than that, isolation is bliss. I try to limit my human interaction to text or phone, I don't even like it if a cashier says hi to me.
People are the fucking worst, I prefer smoking pot and being alone.

 

[Empty Smile]

@not_a_robot

isolation is bliss. I try to limit my human interaction to text or phone.

Thanks for describing me!

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I never liked being around people, so it was usually of my own volition, but I do also seem to lack a certain something that makes people want to like me or hang out with me. I'm also very tall and always feel conspicuous, and I'm someone who would prefer to be invisible, so going out just makes me feel weird and uncomfortable. I'm even a loner/saddo on SS but that's okay.

 

[Rukia]

The was a time when I liked being around ppl although during my high school days I was bulimic, so every now and then I resigned from going out with them to have my secret binge...
Then to make long story short I became too weak from depression to meet regulary and thus old relations came to an end...
Never made new friends again I was to weak...

As for being here talking with ppl helps and I like doing it... but yesterday when I asked who is up for a chat nobody responded and at the same time similar threads made by others have many responses...So I felt not so good...

I guess I am still new here or maybe my English is not so good ...well I have a reason to ruminate what is wrong with me

@Angst Filled Fuck Up but do you want to be a loner here ? We talked yesterday on your profile and today I thought about messaging you again saying "Hello" and stuff like that but something like a gut feeling warned me you wouldnt wish it...But maybe my gut feelings are wrong lol...

When I was a loner one courageous friend told me I have sth like "I want to be alone" aura and she is afraid to talk to me...I was not making it on purpose though...

 

[Severen]

I don't want to put on a mask and play by a set of stupid rules that are mostly illogical. That's the only thing stopping me. Because every culture and sub culture requires me to put on a mask and play by a set of stupid rules. I have yet to find one single culture in this entire world that revolves around logic and wisdom even though such cultures existed in the past. WTF happened, humanity?

 

[Orin]

I avoid normies because i don't want to upset them with my views on life and society. It will always end up in arguments and ill will.

 

[Severen]

I avoid normies because i don't want to upset them with my views on life and society. It will always end up in arguments and ill will.

That's why you have to put on a mask and play by their stupid rules. It sucks for me though so I decided to just be a loner. But when I'm working or dealing with normies in other situations, I have no choice but to put on a mask and play by their stupid rules. Because if they truly got to know me, they would think I'm demon from hell or something like that. Then people would be calling the cops on me 24/7. And I would get fired from every job. LOL In their eyes, I'd be a douchebag, an asshole, someone who is completely insane, someone who is pure evil, someone who never evolved, a cave man, a chimp, a monster etc... LOL my father and mother think I'm a monster because I revealed myself to them a few times, by giving them a taste of their own medicine to teach them a lesson, for standing up for myself whenever they were being abusive and pointed out how the world works... So irrational...these people... In this world, simply holding up a mirror will have you demonized. In their brains, they just have these rules, you have to follow and if you don't, then something is wrong with you. And you have to be exactly what the culture says you have to be as a man or a woman or something is wrong with you. That is how they think... No logic. No concept of good or evil. Nothing. Just expectations, rules etc... For example, this rule isn't really taken too seriously in the Western world anymore but in certain parts of the world, there is this rule, "respect your elders." So even if someone older than you is a complete moron and a piece of shit, you have to respect him or her... Even if you are more powerful than him or her as well... WTF is that? That's absurd. Like someone could be 5 years older than you and expect you to respect him or her, simply because of this fact... Even though logic dictates, you should only respect those who respect you and those who have power over you. For example, you respect those who respect you to maintain an alliance with that person. And you respect people like police officers because they can pull out a gun and shoot you in the head or arrest you if you piss them off. But respecting someone for being older than you? LOL Yeah, settle down, old man river.

 

[Cevapcici]

That's why you have to put on a mask and play by their stupid rules. It sucks for me though so I decided to just be a loner. But when I'm working or dealing with normies in other situations, I have no choice but to put on a mask and play by their stupid rules. Because if they truly got to know me, they would think I'm demon from hell or something like that. Then people would be calling the cops on me 24/7. And I would get fired from every job. LOL In their eyes, I'd be a douchebag, an asshole, someone who is completely insane, someone who is pure evil, someone who never evolved, a cave man, a chimp, a monster etc... LOL my father and mother think I'm a monster because I revealed myself to them a few times, by giving them a taste of their own medicine to teach them a lesson, for standing up for myself whenever they were being abusive and pointed out how the world works... So irrational...these people... In this world, simply holding up a mirror will have you demonized. In their brains, they just have these rules, you have to follow and if you don't, then something is wrong with you. And you have to be exactly what the culture says you have to be as a man or a woman or something is wrong with you. That is how they think... No logic. No concept of good or evil. Nothing. Just expectations, rules etc... For example, this rule isn't really taken too seriously in the Western world anymore but in certain parts of the world, there is this rule, "respect your elders." So even if someone older than you is a complete moron and a piece of shit, you have to respect him or her... Even if you are more powerful than him or her as well... WTF is that? That's absurd. Like someone could be 5 years older than you and expect you to respect him or her, simply because of this fact... Even though logic dictates, you should only respect those who respect you and those who have power over you. For example, you respect those who respect you to maintain an alliance with that person. And you respect people like police officers because they can pull out a gun and shoot you in the head or arrest you if you piss them off. But respecting someone for being older than you? LOL Yeah, settle down, old man river.

Respecting someone who has power over you because that person has power over you, is NOT genuine respect , it is fear. It's even more absurd than respecting sassy elders.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

That's why you have to put on a mask and play by their stupid rules. It sucks for me though so I decided to just be a loner. But when I'm working or dealing with normies in other situations, I have no choice but to put on a mask and play by their stupid rules. Because if they truly got to know me, they would think I'm demon from hell or something like that. Then people would be calling the cops on me 24/7. And I would get fired from every job. LOL In their eyes, I'd be a douchebag, an asshole, someone who is completely insane, someone who is pure evil, someone who never evolved, a cave man, a chimp, a monster etc... LOL my father and mother think I'm a monster because I revealed myself to them a few times, by giving them a taste of their own medicine to teach them a lesson, for standing up for myself whenever they were being abusive and pointed out how the world works... So irrational...these people... In this world, simply holding up a mirror will have you demonized. In their brains, they just have these rules, you have to follow and if you don't, then something is wrong with you. And you have to be exactly what the culture says you have to be as a man or a woman or something is wrong with you. That is how they think... No logic. No concept of good or evil. Nothing. Just expectations, rules etc... For example, this rule isn't really taken too seriously in the Western world anymore but in certain parts of the world, there is this rule, "respect your elders." So even if someone older than you is a complete moron and a piece of shit, you have to respect him or her... Even if you are more powerful than him or her as well... WTF is that? That's absurd. Like someone could be 5 years older than you and expect you to respect him or her, simply because of this fact... Even though logic dictates, you should only respect those who respect you and those who have power over you. For example, you respect those who respect you to maintain an alliance with that person. And you respect people like police officers because they can pull out a gun and shoot you in the head or arrest you if you piss them off. But respecting someone for being older than you? LOL Yeah, settle down, old man river.

This is why Im a loner lol even in my own damn house

 

[Scribble Fan]

Self imposed isolation out of bitter confusion at this life that turned into a prison of anxiety after I dwelt there too long. Then after I shattered under depression I became hyper sensitive and feel attacked by nearly everything now due to stress and suffering. Well, I'm just meant to be alone then. I never fit in anyway.

 

[Darkmornings]

I'm not sure. Ive asked myself this question and I've never been able to pin point the answer. I think I'm too weird for the normies and too normal for the weirdos. On top of that I've always been a little morbid and I stress about things that could happen but probably never will. People usually like me in the beginning but when my true self pops out they get put off. Luckily I like be a loner.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

I didnt know it was possible to be normal for weirdos lol

 

[Darkmornings]

I didnt know it was possible to be normal for weirdos lol

Yep. I dont fit into either group. Weirdos can be just as stuck up and judgemental as the normies. They think you should act and dress a certain way. Every group has their criterias.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

[/QUOTE]

Yep. I dont fit into either group. Weirdos can be just as stuck up and judgemental as the normies. They think you should act and dress a certain way. Every group has their criterias.

ive never come across any people this way. I think its cause Ive been a loner for a long time and I just do what I want and wear what i want. Ive never tried to fit in any groups.

 

[blanketyblk]

I'm a bit of the opposite. i don't like being alone. i don't like my own company most of the time. I like being around people.. just that people don't like being around me.

 

[Darkmornings]

ive never come across any people this way. I think its cause Ive been a loner for a long time and I just do what I want and wear what i want. Ive never tried to fit in any groups.
[/QUOTE]
I wish I could be so lucky. I've never gone out of my way to fit in but I stand out. I attract unwanted attention even though I feel invisible because people cant really see me for who I am. People have definitely gone out of their way to fuck with me no matter how hard I try to shake 'em. I have bad luck I guess.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

ive never come across any people this way. I think its cause Ive been a loner for a long time and I just do what I want and wear what i want. Ive never tried to fit in any groups.

I wish I could be so lucky. I've never gone out of my way to fit in but I stand out. I attract unwanted attention even though I feel invisible because people cant really see me for who I am. People have definitely gone out of their way to fuck with me no matter how hard I try to shake 'em. I have bad luck I guess.
[/QUOTE]
I mean I attract people trying to talk to me on the street but I have headphones on and I just walk right passed them. If anyone tries to mess with me I have some balled up anger that is waiting to jump out lol. The thing that sucks is. You seem like a cool person. I keep to myself so much that a person like you I wouldnt notice cause I stick to myself lol its a cycle that sucks.

 

[not_a_robot]

I never liked being around people, so it was usually of my own volition, but I do also seem to lack a certain something that makes people want to like me or hang out with me. I'm also very tall and always feel conspicuous, and I'm someone who would prefer to be invisible, so going out just makes me feel weird and uncomfortable. I'm even a loner/saddo on SS but that's okay.

If this post was a personal ad, I would want to respond to it so badly. But due my own need for isolation I probably wouldn't. I would want to though.

ive never come across any people this way. I think its cause Ive been a loner for a long time and I just do what I want and wear what i want. Ive never tried to fit in any groups.
[/QUOTE]
You haven't missed out on anything special. Just a lot buildup, for a lot of letdowns. I see people having "fun" social gatherings on tv and it fills me with revulsion, never longing.

 

[netrezven]

I don't want to put on a mask and play by a set of stupid rules that are mostly illogical. That's the only thing stopping me. Because every culture and sub culture requires me to put on a mask and play by a set of stupid rules. I have yet to find one single culture in this entire world that revolves around logic and wisdom even though such cultures existed in the past. WTF happened, humanity?

Thanks, your answer fits it all. It appears to be what i was missing.
I really don't play by anyone's rules and always do what i want. Most of the time it's not something that i share, but sometimes can't hide. I thought, as long as this does not interfere with anybody's interests, won't be that much of problem. Your point completely explains the behavior of others. Really don't see any reason now of me being liked by "normal" people. It's a crash between completely different worlds.

 

[WaterUnder]

"I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member". ... Woody Allen in Annie Hall

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

For example, this rule isn't really taken too seriously in the Western world anymore but in certain parts of the world, there is this rule, "respect your elders." So even if someone older than you is a complete moron and a piece of shit, you have to respect him or her... Even if you are more powerful than him or her as well... WTF is that? That's absurd. Like someone could be 5 years older than you and expect you to respect him or her, simply because of this fact...

I'm Chinese American, and my parents are traditional Chinese. I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household, but this rule pretty much justified any abuse my parents chose to throw at me. Like the time my mom threatened to crash a car with me in it (I was 12 at the time)....according to this rule, I'm still obligated to love and respect my mom because of the "life wisdom" she accumulated over the years. And she is my mom, so of course she can never be wrong.

 

[Severen]

Stupidity is toxic towards me. It really affects my mental health in a negative way. I really wish it didn't so I could be more patient with stupid people because some of them are decent people deep down inside. So that means, I can't be a part of most groups. I can tolerate ignorance but not stupidity. Ignorance is not really a problem because ignorance can be solved by education. But stupid people refuse to be educated. They will just lash out at you if you try to educate them in a logical way backed with evidence. And then also, in the majority of groups, there is always going to be a sociopath or two. And these people are like Vultures or Hyenas...circling around you, waiting for them to have an edge over you so they can attack... Why? Just to feel powerful... And its a pain in the ass to always have to deal with people like this...especially when the point of being in a group is so that you are surrounded by loyal, honorable, rational people who will also watch your back when you are in a bad situation. Otherwise, WTF is the point? It's the same reason, they actually try to kick people out of the military nowadays during basic training if the commanding officers see them as too stupid to be a decent soldier in the future.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

And its a pain in the ass to always have to deal with people like this...especially when the point of being in a group is so that you are surrounded by loyal, honorable, rational people who will also watch your back when you are in a bad situation. Otherwise, WTF is the point?

This is why I cut contact with all my IRL friends. I decided I'd rather be alone, even if it means the isolation will one day kill me.

 

[Severen]

This is why I cut contact with all my IRL friends. I decided I'd rather be alone, even if it means the isolation will one day kill me.

There are ways to minimize the affect of isolation on those who need to be around people though. There is still a future for you if your only problem is being forced to be isolated.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

There are ways to minimize the affect of isolation on those who need to be around people though. There is still a future for you if your only problem is being forced to be isolated.

No, that's not my only problem.
I still have a lot of trauma from my childhood because of my abusive parents. It's affected how I interact with people (I suffer from extreme social anxiety). Just to give some examples of the abuse:
1) My mom once beat the shit out of me and threatened to turn me out of the house because I said I wanted to take Spanish, instead of French. I was 12 or 13 at the time. She told me Spanish is a language that only filthy prostitutes take, and I should take French because it's classy. I eventually gave into her demands because I didn't want to continue being beaten.

2) I got an 86 on a test, and my mom found out the grade when she was driving the car. I was in the car with her. She started screaming at me and driving really fast. She said that if she crashed the car, it would be my fault. She said there was no use for either of us to continue living if I was going to grow up to be a garbage collector.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 14. I'm now 25. The pain has only gotten worse over the years.

 

[Severen]

No, that's not my only problem.
I still have a lot of trauma from my childhood because of my abusive parents. It's affected how I interact with people (I suffer from extreme social anxiety). Just to give some examples of the abuse:
1) My mom once beat the shit out of me and threatened to turn me out of the house because I said I wanted to take Spanish, instead of French. I was 12 or 13 at the time. She told me Spanish is a language that only filthy prostitutes take, and I should take French because it's classy. I eventually gave into her demands because I didn't want to continue being beaten.

2) I got an 86 on a test, and my mom found out the grade when she was driving the car. I was in the car with her. She started screaming at me and driving really fast. She said that if she crashed the car, it would be my fault. She said there was no use for either of us to continue living if I was going to grow up to be a garbage collector.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 14. I'm now 25. The pain has only gotten worse over the years.

There's people who get nothing but As in school and end up as garbage collector, anyway... And it's actually one of the better jobs out there, compared to most of the shit available nowadays. Anyway, sorry to hear you had to deal with such a nasty bitch, most of your life.

 

[Grey-zone]

A garbage collector might actually get paid decently, if you're employed by a more generous metro area. Same with bus drivers. Funny how people shit on certain jobs and those who do them. This is a big reason global society is so fucked up.

 

[WinterIsComing]

1) My mom once beat the shit out of me and threatened to turn me out of the house because I said I wanted to take Spanish, instead of French. I was 12 or 13 at the time. She told me Spanish is a language that only filthy prostitutes take, and I should take French because it's classy. I eventually gave into her demands because I didn't want to continue being beaten.

What the...maybe she had high expectations of you