Discussion What makes you lose trust immediately in a therapist/doctor?

[wannabeshadow]

For me, it's something which somehow happens very often but basically, some doctors I've seen, sometimes criticise something to make me feel better, by that I mean, I'm very rarely comfortable during an appointment, at first I don't talk much at all. There have been times when a therapist (or a similar kinda doctor) would say "at least you don't keep on talking and talking" in a joking manner, as if they have to deal with harder people. I know they are trying to make me feel "better" but it does the complete opposite, not only are they comfortable enough to diss a type of person during their worktime, to another patient, but who says they wouldn't joke about the type of person I am with someone else? Or what if I actually am a big talker but not yet? I have a lot of trust issues and I'm ngl this worsens it. It might also be the mentality of my area but im really not a fan. That is one example amongst many others, I've heard/seen therapists say/do worse. I'm honestly not the biggest fan of those at all, I mostly see them to get my medication. Anyways, do you have something that immediately breaks your trust or makes you want to leave? Regarding therapist or psychologists, or etc...?

 

[LunarEc]

Threatening you with the idea of getting locked up in a psych ward if you tell them that you're feeling suicidal.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Nothing since it would never occur to me to trust those people from the start since doing so before has resulted in fresh batches of PTSD. They'd have to earn my trust, they often have no chance in doing so.

 

[wannabeshadow]

Threatening you with the idea of getting locked up in a psych ward if you tell them that you're feeling suicidal.

That's a big one for me too, fortunately I haven't had this happened that much but I definitely don't like it.

Nothing since it would never occur to me to trust those people from the start since doing so before has resulted in fresh batches of PTSD. They'd have to earn my trust, they often have no chance in doing so.

That's very unfortunate to hear, it bugs me so much how often people get traumatised because of something/someone that's SUPPOSED to help, that you also put your money and time in. I get where you're coming from. As of right now I barely talk to my current therapist, I only do what is needed to get my prescription.

 

[foreverfalling]

Talking like they know it all and what's best for you. The doctor should be working with me on what the options are and helping me understand the risks and recommendations. Not pushing what they think is best onto me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well my most recent one said it should actually be really easy for me to find a girlfriend because she thought I was very attractive, charming, and charismatic. This bothered me because it makes no sense. If it was really that easy then why wouldn't I have gotten one at all by this point? I hate it when therapists try to purposefully lie and they get praised for it just because they're being positive about their lies.

 

[wannabeshadow]

Talking like they know it all and what's best for you. The doctor should be working with me on what the options are and helping me understand the risks and recommendations. Not pushing what they think is best onto me.

I very much get that, I've mostly encountered those types when I was inpatient, they were so convinced about what they were saying, seemed like it hurt their ego if you would correct them on YOUR OWN feelings :/

Well my most recent one said it should actually be really easy for me to find a girlfriend because she thought I was very attractive, charming, and charismatic. This bothered me because it makes no sense. If it was really that easy then why wouldn't I have gotten one at all by this point? I hate it when therapists try to purposefully lie and they get praised for it just because they're being positive about their lies.

They could be telling the truth, but I think there's definitely a better way to go about it, sometimes it sounds like they're undermining the problem. If they actually were lying then that would suck too, I honestly feel like most of them lie now.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

A lot of things, actually. I am distrustful by nature, and while I can say I have a decent relationship with my therapist, it has never occurred to me to put my trust in anyone with my whole being. Not that I don't want to, but I just don't see any benefit of doing so. Then there's the saying that therapists are not a replacement for real friends, and there's only so much you can get out of a therapeutic relationship with a healthcare provider. Speaking of which, when it comes to the so-called "professionals", they're as predictable as the average Joe gets—when it comes to giving you the same annoying, overused pieces of advice—and it's best not to expect too much from them. Sometimes you might just be better off getting a diploma from Google University and listening to Professor YouTube instead.

Last but not least, when it comes to individual biases, things get even more complicated. My therapist, for instance, is a devout Christian and can sometimes get over-optimistic about healing to the point where it can sometimes seem like she's pushing me towards a goal of forgiveness and eventual reconciliation (with my family). Something which gets on my nerves when I think of the Child that had been "sacrificed" to the "Moloch" that is my parents. (To be fair, when asked about the latter she clarified that that would only be possible after the necessary emotional labour has been done, however long that takes. And for those who are Christian, it will "come naturally" by virtue of your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.) Not only that, we also don't see eye to eye on many issues, such as her being more conservative in terms of spiritual beliefs while I'm more on the liberal side.

So it depends. Because of all the above mentioned factors I almost called it quits on my therapist on a few occasions, but nevertheless made it up within a week. Will see how far it goes.

 

[ramon]

When they don't show up at our agreed meetings.

When they yell at you for anything the they didn't like about your attitude (though you showed a face of contempt for his/her dismissive attitude, you never yelled at them or even touched them).

When their excuses for how their rude treatment towards you are laced with some gas-lighting ("I can see slight signs of passive anger in you").

When they gas-light you even more ("You must have done something to every person who's bullied you your whole life. Tell me more about that").

When they brush you off when you're desperate about finding a solution to emotions you admit you have no control of ("I DON'T KNOW!!!" - While showing you the door)

 

[dontwakemeup]

I don't trust any of them. But when I did use to see a psychiatrist, what I disliked was:
-lack of eye contact
-writing too many notes when I barely said anything
-it always ended in, we should meet 3 times a week
-and I always wondered, what are theu writing, just listen!
I'll never use their services anymore because I've seen enough to know they are all messed up. They are always single and stuck up! I always wanted to ask them, "So tell me, what medication are you taking?" And inform them it will take 4-6 weeks before they see any improvement lol

 

[Pluto]

 

[Electra]

When they say "have you tried going to bed earlier?; have you tried working out?; are you drinking enough water?". Like my boi, are we serious right now?

 

[GlassMoon]

At a probatory session, a therapist said to me: "You don't exactly look like a daredevil.". I sounded somewhat like criticism, but I mostly thought: "You look so buttoned-up yet want to access whether I'm a daredevil?" Well, that line was enough for me and did not come back to that therapist.

 

[SVEN]

When they're reading my notes from a file or computer while talking to me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

They could be telling the truth, but I think there's definitely a better way to go about it, sometimes it sounds like they're undermining the problem. If they actually were lying then that would suck too, I honestly feel like most of them lie now.

It doesn't make sense for it to be the truth otherwise I wouldn't be having that problem in the first place. It would be like going to the dentist if one's teeth were full of cavities and the dentist goes "What do you mean? They look white to me. Maybe you just need braces."