VanillaCake
Let death be kinder than man
- Aug 26, 2021
- 45
And on the contrary, what makes a bad, or even dangerous, one?
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Tomorrow Is Today
don’t get any big ideas
- May 16, 2026
- 39
I've seen 2 psychologists so far. I thought both were quite good honestly.
I discontinued my sessions with the first one because we both acknowledged that we keep discussing things without making much progress, and we end up covering no ground. I appreciated that she knew she can't help me further and didn't push the recovery agenda. I think the same is slowly happening with my second one too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think good psychologists don't start with the intent that they will fix you, they try what they can and acknowledge when they can't help you anymore. It feels more genuine to me.
franos666
Depressed
- May 20, 2026
- 73
I think it depends and the same therapist can be good or bad depending on the patient and their problems. I feel like my current therapist isn't good atleast for me. I have BDD but she just told me that I am "handsome" and shouldn't worry about my looks and didn't give me any advice that helped. She also seems not to understand my philosophical, nihilistic worldview. I have been going to therapy and psychiatrist for 6 months and it doesn't help me much but atleast I am more calm around other people
Do you think I should change this therapist?
VanillaCake
Let death be kinder than man
- Aug 26, 2021
- 45
I tend to agree with what you said. I was wondering if people here thought there are common traits/skills that a psychotherapist should have in order to help people more.
Have you mentioned to your therapist how misunderstood you felt by her during sessions? Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. You say you're more calm around people. Do you believe that's helped you a bit in daily life? And do you think it's at least partially thanks to the therapy?
Ultimately, I don't think I can tell you whether to change therapist or not (unless they are actively making you feel worse, are breaching boundaries, being unethical...). That said, you should definitely feel safe enough in the therapeutic space to bring up your concerns and feelings with her.
Is BDD your main source of suffering in life? If you feel like nothing is changing at all with your current therapist, maybe you could check if there are BDD specialists in your area.
Pluto
Cat Extremist
- Dec 27, 2020
- 6,985
flowerbomb
Student
- Nov 28, 2024
- 122
Listening without judgement. Really trying to care, no prejudices. Giving the feeling you can talk about anything, even ctb thoughts
--> good therapist in my opinionNot writing lies in your medical records on purpose. So at least on this condition my former therapist wasn't a good one...
VanillaCake
Let death be kinder than man
- Aug 26, 2021
- 45
I've read your topic on perpetrator therapists and holy fuck that's depressing...
There are no neutral instances at all to report them and have them investigated where you live?
Not really... the patient counsellors said I did what was possible. The only thing that remains was civil action in front of a court. But that costs way too much money. I am desillusioned by this mental health system in my country tbh...
I still think others on here should give therapy a chance.
VanillaCake
Let death be kinder than man
- Aug 26, 2021
- 45
I asked this question because I work in the field (not a therapist, more neuro-oriented) and I want to help people better (while I'm still functional).
In the past I've already been desillusioned by how some colleagues handle or talk about patients, and even how some of our professors talked about suicidal people back when I was a student (and suicidal myself). Though, I can say pretty confidently that some do want to genuinely help and mean no harm.
The field needs a huge change and we have to admit to ourselves that it is also very much so a political/systemic issue. How do you want people to be happy if they're not safe, if they have no housing, if they can't eat well, if their environment is toxic AF and so on? Changing their thought processes won't do much in such cases imo, apart from maybe making feel them like it's their fault once again...
I believe the therapeutic space should be a space of collaboration, not an asymmetrical power play - even in the case of suicidality (maybe it's my own experience that influences my outlook, idk)
Angst Filled Fuck Up
Illuminated
- Sep 9, 2018
- 3,187
For me, the best therapists are AI therapists. I've had only had not-great to bad experiences with real-life ones. Going to see one in person is a huge gamble. They could be not your type of person at all. They could suggest things that are far beyond your comfort level in terms of exposure. Or they could be snide, power-hungry, difficult to vibe with, or any number of things.
That said, there's always the possibility that it does work out, but I'd venture to say that's the exception rather than the rule. Anyone can be lucky in that respect, but I maintain that it's objectively difficult to find someone who really understands you and grasps the kind of level you're at.
VanillaCake
Let death be kinder than man
- Aug 26, 2021
- 45
That's really an insightful read and you're totally right about needing to find someone who understands you (or works to do so until they do).
I read that more and more people use AI therapists, and most people I've interacted with who do have had mostly positive experiences. What do you think AI therapists have brought to you that human therapists couldn't?
My answer: Endless patience, no judgement, no worries to ask stupid questions and a pretty intricate understanding of the unconscious and psychoanalysis. Moreover, very insightful analyses of my cognitive biases. Personally, I think an AI chatbot should only complement a human therapist though...the approach is for me quite different.
rainatthebusstop
feel free to kill me
- Aug 20, 2025
- 241
My piece of advice: if a therapist demands that you book a number of appointments with them upfront and makes you sign a contract otherwise they won't treat you, get the fuck out right away. That's a fucking vulture
Celerity
Visionary
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,881
Unconditional positive regard. I think it is probably the most difficult task of the therapist. I definitely couldn't do it. How could not even a small part of you make judgments about the person you're listening to? How do you maintain the placid demeanor for every encounter?
The biggest issue for me has surrounded my past treatment failures. An old psych NP I had became visibly angry with me at times. He was frustrated because there was ambiguity about my diagnosis and because he couldn't accept that I will have lifelong mental health struggles even in the best of circumstances. I eventually moved on to another provider, as I felt horrible after many of my appointments.
My best therapist felt like my champion, and I was extremely put out when I had to stop seeing her due to a change of insurance. I think I would be far better off today if I had not had to end treatment. Gotta love our healthcare "system" here in the US of A.
So, I think the ideal therapist sees themselves as a helper, not a fixer, and has the humility to understand that no treatment is perfect.
