Dangerdonkey333

Dangerdonkey333

Crann Bethadh
Nov 19, 2023
60
For me I'd say it's more a lack of emotion. Not happiness or sadness, but a dark little void, like the night sky, contentment. The rare moment of laying in bed, or rocking in my chair and having a clear mind. It's so serene and peaceful, how I'd imagine a butterfly in a cocoon.

My question, as you could probably tell from the title. What is your weird comfort emotion/state of mind?
 
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WAITING TO DIE

WAITING TO DIE

TORMENTED
Sep 30, 2023
1,539
Sometimes I just lay in bed staring out of the window or at the walls when severely depressed and can sometimes go into a dreamlike state of no thought and neutral emotions.
It's how I would like to feel all the time, but unfortunately I soon come crashing back into reality.
 
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Lifeis_Jouissance70

Lifeis_Jouissance70

Come, sweet death
Oct 25, 2023
29
This one might be odd.. But pretending I do not exist. I just lay down and forget and ignore everything that is life, ignore everything. Its kind of peaceful until it all comes back again when I snap out of zoning out.
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
358
I like to spook myself sometimes, I suppose. I'll listen to weird, dark, disquieting ambient music, to the point where I induce in myself a feeling of dread that can be quite intense. I have no idea why I do it, but I find the dread rather comforting.
 
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Pinkliquid12

Pinkliquid12

Member
Sep 10, 2022
35
I like to spook myself sometimes, I suppose. I'll listen to weird, dark, disquieting ambient music, to the point where I induce in myself a feeling of dread that can be quite intense. I have no idea why I do it, but I find the dread rather comforting.
Maybe it's just because it appeals to my suicidal tendencies, but I like to be scared too. I'll read short horror stories or watch spooky analog horror videos. It gets me thinking about those kinds of life altering/threatening situations and I get this odd feeling of peacefulness.
 
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TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
358
Maybe it's just because it appeals to my suicidal tendencies, but I like to be scared too. I'll read short horror stories or watch spooky analog horror videos. It gets me thinking about those kinds of life altering/threatening situations and I get this odd feeling of peacefulness.
I do it now and again, when the mood strikes, but it's not related to suicidal ideation for me, as far as I've noticed. It's also more of a feeling of existential dread rather than horror or life altering/threatening situations, though I do enjoy watching some horror stuff.

An album that I really like and that can elicit that sense of existential dread in me is Delia Derbyshire's The Dreams. It's a bit of experimental electronic/ambient music from the 1960s mixed with samples of various people recounting their dreams. It's available in full at the Internet Archive here.
 
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Pinkliquid12

Pinkliquid12

Member
Sep 10, 2022
35
I do it now and again, when the mood strikes, but it's not related to suicidal ideation for me, as far as I've noticed. It's also more of a feeling of existential dread rather than horror or life altering/threatening situations, though I do enjoy watching some horror stuff.

An album that I really like and that can elicit that sense of existential dread in me is Delia Derbyshire's The Dreams. It's a bit of experimental electronic/ambient music from the 1960s mixed with samples of various people recounting their dreams. It's available in full at the Internet Archive here.
What the heck, this is really good music to dissociate to! I guess I don't really get the existential dread part, since that's something I don't experience much to begin with, but it does make me feel floaty.
 
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AllCatsAreGrey

AllCatsAreGrey

they/he
Sep 27, 2023
281
An album that I really like and that can elicit that sense of existential dread in me is Delia Derbyshire's The Dreams. It's a bit of experimental electronic/ambient music from the 1960s mixed with samples of various people recounting their dreams. It's available in full at the Internet Archive here.
I really enjoy this. Thanks for the share.
 
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Rapiรจre

Rapiรจre

On the brink
Jul 7, 2022
249
The feeling of impending doom. That sudden wave of relief when letting go of every precious hope that binds you to this world and allowing despair and futility to penetrate every fiber of your being.
 
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achb

achb

I am Clive
Oct 23, 2023
133
Depression I guess? That sort of suffocating, lump in your throat kind of lonely feeling. I find comfort in reading stories that make me feel that way, imagining scenarios that make me well up with that emotion. Suicide often does that for me. A book about neglect and suicide, or imagining myself or another offing themselves.

I use it to calm down when I'm panicked or stressed or ashamed. Or when I'm bored or feeling empty and just want to feel.
 
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penguinl0v3s

penguinl0v3s

Wait for Me ๐Ÿ’™
Nov 1, 2023
799
You ever think of dying and then feel so peaceful? Haha, it's like floating on a cloud.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,527
I think melancholy is the best way to describe mine. Not desperately or fantically unhappy, just a mild level of unhappiness. Kind of artistically tragic. Having that familiar feeling with no intention to fight it.
 
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W

whateverr

Member
Oct 19, 2021
75
I'm genuinely afraid of happiness at this point. So I guess whatever the opposite of happiness is. I tend to like movies with a lot of doom and gloom, but I'm kind of over watching movies and tv. It mostly makes my problems worse. I guess I enjoy being depressed??? Maybe I should try being around people who are depressed. I used to like being alone, but that makes my problems worse typically so idk.
For me I'd say it's more a lack of emotion. Not happiness or sadness, but a dark little void, like the night sky, contentment. The rare moment of laying in bed, or rocking in my chair and having a clear mind. It's so serene and peaceful, how I'd imagine a butterfly in a cocoon.

My question, as you could probably tell from the title. What is your weird comfort emotion/state of mind?
I actually like this feeling a lot, too.
This one might be odd.. But pretending I do not exist. I just lay down and forget and ignore everything that is life, ignore everything. Its kind of peaceful until it all comes back again when I snap out of zoning out.
I'm going to have to try this one. Sounds incredibly nice.
 
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Anonymoususer1234

Anonymoususer1234

Experienced
Apr 13, 2023
216
Sadness. It isn't all consuming in the same way anger and numbness are (at least, in my experience). Crying feels good and cathartic. But I don't get sad often at all.
 
Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
When I'm in the zone working on something I think might not work out. I'm just afraid enough to get that nice adrenaline rush and hyperfocus but not so much that I fall into despair.

I wish I could summon this energy right now. Struggling currently to find the will to do anything productive.
 
Kall

Kall

Member
Jul 7, 2023
22
Being in a suicidal state comfort me the most. Knowing I have nothing to lose makes my confidence and bravery up to the sky. Most of my achievements are because of this
 
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S

snow109

New Member
Jan 31, 2024
4
Being in a suicidal state comfort me the most. Knowing I have nothing to lose makes my confidence and bravery up to the sky. Most of my achievements are because of this
I think it's the same for me:) I actually recently asked out the girl I like precisely because I feel like I have nothing to lose and whatever the outcome, I at least won't regret it.
 
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spring vainglory

spring vainglory

from a moon soaked in distance.
Feb 3, 2024
67
hunger. that warm feeling i get when my stomach growls. it used to hurt, and still does when im up and using my body. but if im laying down and have just been rotting/relaxing, starving is oddly soothing.

i dont think i have an ed. i'm naturally skinny and enjoy how my body looks usually. actually i think i'm too skinny lately and i dislike how it looks without the bit of meat i used to have in my hips and butt.
i dislike eating because im so picky and its so tedious. im very poor lately so the only food available to me most times is disgusting, if not in taste than in the idea that its highly processed, full of chemicals, and unethically sourced. i dont want that stuff in my body. maybe the hunger reminding me that i'm refusing to put that stuff in my body is what makes me feel good.
Sadness. It isn't all consuming in the same way anger and numbness are (at least, in my experience). Crying feels good and cathartic. But I don't get sad often at all.
i used to find confort in crying too, letting it all out. but that was before i was suicidal. since the shift it just hurts, even physically. i hate crying now but i do it so much more often and its just going to keep hurting until i let it out, which hurts too but at least it goes away after.
 
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Ironborn

Ironborn

Specialist
Jan 29, 2024
385
Every now and again I zone out, all my worries disappear and I know peace.
It only lasts a few seconds before all my anxieties and other issues force their way back to the forefront of my mind.
But it's nice on the rare occasions it happens.
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
450
A few come to mind.

There are times when I'm really tired right before I go to sleep that I'm kind of out of it. And it kind of fractures my thoughts a lot. And that feels pretty good because it keeps the bad thoughts away for the most part. Or at least makes them not coherent.

The thought that after I end it that no one will miss me is strangely comforting. It sounds sad but I'm glad for it. I'm glad that I don't have to feel bad about the possibility of leaving a bunch of people behind. Pretty much no one will care when I'm gone and I'll just fade away. Idk, again I feel like any normies that heard that would find that sad. But it really is helpful to me to think about and brings me peace.

Sometimes fantasizing about how my life could've been if I hadn't been emotionally abused by my parents. Or if other things had gone differently. That can be comforting for a little while. I always get dragged back to reality though.

And then finally there's this thing I've been doing lately.... My first ever girlfriend wrote a bunch of poems about me. Some when we were together and others after things had ended. Long story short, she broke up with me and pretended during that that she didn't love me anymore because she was planning on killing herself and wanted me to hate her so I wouldn't miss her after. Which, incidentally, wouldn't have worked.

Anyway, she didn't go through with it. But we were still broken up. So she wrote a lot of poems and posted them online in the year afterwards. Where she'd talk about loving me and missing me and all of that stuff. I didn't find out about them until many years later. And finding out about all this actually sent me into my third depression. But eventually I was able to talk to her, deeply apologize for everything and now we're on good terms.

Anyway, point is, I've been reading those a lot lately. Sometimes they almost make me cry. Sometimes they make me smile. Depending on the poem. But all of them, including the sad ones, make me feel like she really loved me. And that has been singular in my life. She may be the only one who ever genuinely did. So rereading them gives me comfort for that reason, I think.

I still love her to this day. Not as much or as deeply as I did back then. And she's not the girl I've loved the most (that dubious honour goes to my fourth girlfriend). But I do still love her. And I still wonder sometimes what would've happened if I'd seen all those poems back when she posted them. Or if she'd sent me a message that she still loved me and wanted to get back together. I definitely would've said yes. I still loved her so much at that time. I don't know how our relationship would've turned out or whether it would've lasted but... I like to imagine it sometimes. And that makes me smile.
 
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lemonbunny

lemonbunny

daydreaming the pain away โ˜†.ใ€‚.:*ใƒปยฐ
Sep 9, 2023
236
a sense of surrender, almost. whenever i feel humiliated and stressed, i comfort myself with the thought that someone has to be on the bottom, and considering all my shortcomings, i'm glad it's me.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, thatโ€™s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
I've always found solace in sadness. There's something comforting about being sad. There's also something romantic about "sad, beautiful, tragic".
 
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Seiko

Seiko

"Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby."
Jul 9, 2021
167
Maladaptive daydreaming and any state of dissociation.
 
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migimortis

migimortis

Love It Or Waste It.
Jan 15, 2024
149
Serene anger. When acceptance meets rage. When anger stops being reckless and uncontrollably destructive and instead becomes focused productively. It can be an immense source of strength, and there is no fear, because the desire brought about by the anger overshadows any obstacles that lie ahead. It's power.
 
superwacki

superwacki

Violent Member
Dec 9, 2023
36
Those days where there's deep sadness lurking within you, but that same feeling is what makes you feel warm.

I find myself sitting alone somewhere, thinking about the worst kind of things I can ever think of. Thinking about those bad things, then thinking about death, usually flip-flopping between those two. Sometimes, when it comes down to moments like those...instead of bearing a heavy frown or a blank face, I just smile. It makes me feel warm inside. It's not thinking about the tragedies & the death as components to feeling that way, it's just one of those moments where you feel so sad, you feel happy. Not gleefully happy, joyful or whatever, just a slight smile paired up with a thousand-yard stare. That fuzzy feeling you get in your heart. It's weird. Depression can be your biggest enemy, and the toughest war you can ever fight, but sometimes, those eye-of-the-storm moments just string along. You feel human. You realize you feel like..."you". What you're feeling is real, and you're accepting it. Finding solace in it.

I usually take advantage of those moments to feel better about things, like using that as a source of comedy. "Why am I happy about being sad, that's strange" and I just start laughing about that. It helps brighten the rest of my day up, by pushing those bad thoughts away and dismiss them as silly, no matter how severe & grim.
 
lovelydeath

lovelydeath

Member
Dec 5, 2022
64
I find it very comforting when I think about how reality is fake. Realizing how lifes always been this way and its not real makes death and suicide not seem like im missing out on my earthly dreams.
 
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Dliena

Dliena

๐š‚๐š‚ ๐™ผ๐šŽ๐š–๐š‹๐šŽ๐š› ๐™ฝ๐š˜. 43,53?
Dec 22, 2023
1,889
Psychosis from weed. There's something about it that kinda feels comforting to me even if it's also really terrifying.
 
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