What kind of bucket lists do people have?

[peacetime]

My SN should arrive in 1-2 weeks this time. Last source failed me, this time using IC. To be honest my mood keeps changing but I never gain any kind of happiness or pleasure from anything except food, for a few minutes. There's nothing for me to stick around to, I've been depressed for almost two decades now. I made myself go watch a 3d movie, go to a theme park, do go-karting, but these feel like nothing and everything is just so bothersome.

Just wondering if people here do anything before they CTB, although I'm guessing most of us are generally too depressed to care about doing anything any more.
My "good" times as far as my mood is concerned is some thought that this time, I could finish a bachelor's degree by the time I'm 30, then start working on paying off my debt. Then I would be back on track on paper towards a "successful life", but realistically it's just a whole lot of trouble for no reason. I don't think I'll enjoy any of it. My teeth and my health are failing too, due to long-term depression and a lack of care.

This was a weird blog post, oh well. Wondering if any of you have bucket lists.

 

[MidnightDream]

My bucket list is just full of random, impulsive stuff I wrote when I was 15, I've already ticked off most of it which is a nice feeling I guess
Nothing profound or important on there

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

I have a few like go on a cruise ship, race track demo day, few conventions and concerts. Honestly tho, you hit the nail on the head with "too depressed to care about doing anything any more" .

Although while not a bucket list, I do like to treat myself with good food, snacks and beer/alcohol. Went from 6pack to beer belly and I dont regret it one bit.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

i guess not really
its hard for me to even imagine things i like... struggling a lot with that during the holiday season, was bad enough with christmas but now my birthday is coming up and
i have no clue what to even put on my 'wishlist', much less a bucketlist haha

anything i could come up with just feels so extremely unlikely to happen
and doesnt that defeat the purpose of a bucketlist?
isnt the goal to accomplish these things before you die?

i think ill be stuck in my situation until i do, and i wont be able to see anything into fruition because of it

 

[Forever Sleep]

Mainly, I'd like to say goodbye to a few places in the UK. The sea, the lake district and I'd love to see the river Strid properly- I went past there once and it looked stunning.

I am actually lucky enough that I do enjoy things still... Just not enough to justify the rest of it! The issue for me will be how much money I have left when it becomes time.

I'm glad you at least tried to have 'fun' but I can understand why none of it meant much. I'm sorry.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Mainly, I'd like to say goodbye to a few places in the UK. The sea, the lake district and I'd love to see the river Strid properly- I went past there once and it looked stunning.

I am actually lucky enough that I do enjoy things still... Just not enough to justify the rest of it! The issue for me will be how much money I have left when it becomes time.

I'm glad you at least tried to have 'fun' but I can understand why none of it meant much. I'm sorry.

The lake District is a beautiful place, l grew up near there!

 

[FuneralCry]

But aren't bucket lists more for people who actually want to live and want to make the most of the time that they have left rather than suicidal people who plan to voluntarily exit. At least that's what I associate bucket lists with. In my case, I don't particularly see something so useless and awful as existing as being enjoyable at all. Being trapped in this world is such a tiring undesirable burden to me and I just wish to be free from it all, I despise existing in every single way.

 

[myownpetvirus]

But aren't bucket lists more for people who actually want to live and want to make the most of the time that they have left rather than suicidal people who plan to voluntarily exit. At least that's what I associate bucket lists with. In my case, I don't particularly see something so useless and awful as existing as being enjoyable at all. Being trapped in this world is such a tiring undesirable burden to me and I just wish to be free from it all, I despise existing in every single way.

This is my exact thought. I am so confused by people on here that speak of excitement and joy and looking forward to things. I would never ctb if I felt excitement, joy or beauty.

 

[peacetime]

I just wish to be free from it all, I despise existing in every single way.

Mate, you have 17,270 posts in here.

Yeah, nothing excites me or makes me happy. That's why I'm asking if anyone has anything that one ought to do before killing themselves. my SN from IC is in the mail, hopefully will arrive soon and today, felt like I'd have used it. But hopefully I will have the choice soon.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I don't have one.

Well, I used to, but I tore it up. I read somewhere that bucket lists, and the "bucket list effect," is helping to destroy the planet. So many people feeling entitled to see and do anything or everything they've ever thought of is one of the factors creating lots of greenhouse effects, lots of additional tourism in places that cannot handle it, and that people tending to dismiss these factors since it's a "bucket list" item.

I've come to the conclusion that if I'm going to do these things, I need to live to pay for them - environmentally as well as responsibly.

This is JMHO. As always, YMMV.