what is your earliest saddest memory?

[Azzy69]

It was my first day of kindergarten. I was wearing a new pair of white velcro shoes with butterflies on the side, and they were hurting my feet as I had not yet worn them in. I loved those shoes. I vaguely remember my mum walking me into the classroom, I was probably in tears of course. I remember not wanting my mum to leave me. I think I was playing with some wooden blocks - anyone remember the ones with the alphabet on them? I have been told that at an early age i struggled to talk to other kids, and I was always on my own. I thought my mum was my best friend. I just remember feeling so lonely once she left and I was overwhelmed by sadness; probably still crying. 2 years later I remember still feeling very lonely and sad and I hated my mum leaving after she dropped me off. She gave me some little teddy bear key ring to put on my backpack and she told me to look at it whenever i missed her throughout the day. I still have it too! Anyone else remember any sad early memories as a kid?

 

[NeCkDeEp]

A family member touching me on places he isn't allowed, he kept touching me after saying no and sweeping his hands away.

 

[Final Escape]

I try not to think about them lol! I remember fighting with my mom over when she would try to mess with my hair in the morning before I was dropped off at kindergarten. I would pull out the pony tails and undo her work because I didn't like how the rubber bands were too tight lol!

 

[Azzy69]

I try not to think about them lol! I remember fighting with my mom over when she would try to mess with my hair in before I was dropped off at kindergarten. I would pull out the pony tails and undo her work bc I didn't like how the rubber bands were too tight lol!

ughh so many memories hahaha!! yes I was specific about the hair too. I was late so many times because of it. I would overreact and grab ice packs for my head lol

 

[Final Escape]

I was often late to school but I mean it sucked and it wasn't conforming to my specific needs. I was forced to conform to the shitty public school environment that was failing me anyway lol! If school was actually made to fit different types of kids and learning styles, or to work at specific innate talent of certain kids and develop that instead of wasting years in a one size fits all.

Oh and maybe if they cared to make sure u weren't being abused at home which sort of defeats when you're trying to be present mentally in class lol! I still have flashbacks of feeling traumatized by public schooling and school in general. It felt like daily public humiliation in many ways, especially if you are poor or not being taken care of at home. So then u become a target for the bad kids if u are a little odd and the bad kids pick up on it.

I'm sorry but gov school is about the biggest insult to the average child. I mean yea it probably won't make a huge difference what schooling u get if the kid has very low IQ because better schooling or education will not make u more competent, smarter, or more talented. But it is an insult to kids who actually do have enough smarts where being educated properly would be an asset to society.

 

[Squiddy]

I remember in kindergarten one day no one wanting to play with me so I sat in a corner and cried

 

[Manja]

Coming to this forum...I remember nothing before that whatsoever

 

[exhausted]

I remember being really pissed off in nursery (3 years old) because I didn't want nap time, nor did I want the fruit they provided (banana was too mushy) and I didn't want to dance the hokey cokey (highly energetic dance) everyday, when was mum coming back? But that's not really sad. My first sad memory at school was in reception (4 years old). My teacher Mrs Reagan was asking us all to come sit on the carpet for story time, so I went to sit down with everyone. She made me stand up in front of everyone and started shouting at me. It was because I was still wearing my school cardigan and everyone else wasn't. I didn't know this was a rule. I was crying but she kept humiliating me, I was so shocked. I still am, completely unnecessary. Could have told me kindly to take it off, no need to stand me up and berate me until I cried. Bitch.Wonder how she'd feel knowing she is someone's first childhood memory of pain, hope it was worth the temporary victory over a 4 year old!

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

My grandfather dying of a heart attack when I was 5. Luckily I wasn't there to witness it. That's how I found out about death.

 

[psyche]

Being stuck in the hospital as a child and having the nurse tell my parents that I was a dying child, sad back then for obvious reasons. Sad now that I wish it was true.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

Waking up to not being able to breathe. My mom had decided to attempt to smother me in my sleep, with my pillow. I was 4.

 

[R_N]

Being bullied because of my nationality.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Waking up to not being able to breathe. My mom had decided to attempt to smother me in my sleep, with my pillow. I was 4.

What? Why?

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

What? Why?

Don't know. She never bothered to explain herself and all these years later, she denies it ever happened. All I do know is, when I turned 18, she blamed me for her never having a childhood, since she had me when she was 16, so I just assume it was due to that.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

I used to cry a lot when I was like 3 or 4 years old according to baby photos. And then there was a time where my brother tried to choke me (I can't remember if we were fighting though).

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Waking up to not being able to breathe. My mom had decided to attempt to smother me in my sleep, with my pillow. I was 4.

Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I hope you know that you are loved here❤

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

I used to cry a lot when I was like 3 or 4 years old according to baby photos. And then there was a time where my brother tried to choke me (I can't remember if we were fighting though).

That's not any better than what I went through. I'm truly sorry that you experienced it and hope, at least, that he was too young to realize what he was doing?

Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I hope you know that you are loved here❤

Thanks and I'm sorry it happened, too. It's most likely the root cause of my manic depression and severe anxiety. But this thread isn't about me, all of you have suffered in your own ways and I don't mean to lessen that.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

That's not any better than what I went through. I'm truly sorry that you experienced it and hope, at least, that he was too young to realize what he was doing?


Thanks and I'm sorry it happened, too. It's most likely the root cause of my manic depression and severe anxiety. But this thread isn't about me, all of you have suffered in your own ways and I don't mean to lessen that.

I mean we were both young at the time (not even 10 years old) but he was always a happy go lucky kind of person so it was weird to me.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I have shared my blog many a times, I don't care sharing it again!

My Earliest Memory

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

I mean we were both young at the time (not even 10 years old) but he was always a happy go lucky kind of person so it was weird to me.

Damn, then there was a slight note that they possibly knew. But, maybe it was just a reaction, I know I used to punch walls whenever I got too emotional. Regardless, I'm still sorry that happened to you. It's a betrayal, really, when something like that happens via loved one and can scar a person.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

Damn, then there was a slight note that they possibly knew. But, maybe it was just a reaction, I know I used to punch walls whenever I got too emotional. Regardless, I'm still sorry that happened to you. It's a betrayal, really, when something like that happens via loved one and can scar a person.

Right now me and my brother don't get along at all so we don't talk much.
I don't know if he knew or not. It would just open a whole can of worms.
What happened to you must've been traumatizing though.. Do you feel any resentment or anything?

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

Right now me and my brother don't get along at all so we don't talk much.
I don't know if he knew or not. It would just open a whole can of worms.
What happened to you must've been traumatizing though.. Do you feel any resentment or anything?

All the time. She never acted like a mother to me. My whole family always acted and treated me like I was worth less than dirt. My grandfather was basically the one that raised me, until he passed when I was 16 and by then I had practically disowned my mom. Oh, she still has contact with me.....when she wants money, so I've allowed her in my life to some extent. These days, I'm more numb.

I can imagine what you went through with your brother was also traumatizing, to an extent and may well be an underlying reason why you don't get along. Of course, I don't know anything about your life or history, so it's more an assumption on my part, than anything.

 

[Moonicide]

When I was about 7 years old my sister wanted to take me to the mall to get me a new dress. We used to be very close when I was younger... My dad started fighting with her while I was waiting outside. I was really happy because I picked out my outfit to go out in which was my sunflower frilly top with yellow shorts. I always loved sunflowers even as a child as they always looked so happy and I aspired to be that yellow, aka happy... I didn't understand why there was yelling. But as I was sitting by the steps outside waiting for her, my dad threw his cup at me and my clothes got wet and then my sister stormed out the door, walked down the street and never looked back. I called out for her and wondered why she was going without me, but she never turned around or gave me an answer. I spent most of the day crying over it.

 

[BPD Barbie]

My step father chasing my mum with a kitchen knife while I laid at the top of the stairs screaming and crying. Think I was around 4 at the time.

 

[WhyIsLife56]

All the time. She never acted like a mother to me. My whole family always acted and treated me like I was worth less than dirt. My grandfather was basically the one that raised me, until he passed when I was 16 and by then I had practically disowned my mom. Oh, she still has contact with me.....when she wants money, so I've allowed her in my life to some extent. These days, I'm more numb.

I can imagine what you went through with your brother was also traumatizing, to an extent and may well be an underlying reason why you don't get along. Of course, I don't know anything about your life or history, so it's more an assumption on my part, than anything.

I'm sorry you feel that way. It must be really hard when your own mother doesn't treat you well when they're the ones that gave birth to you in the first place.
I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[k75]

I was like 5. My grandfather was in the hospital dying, and he wanted to see me. Because I was a child, everyone outside the family thought I would misbehave, and so I was not allowed to go to him. I didn't understand all the reasons why they wouldnt let me go, but I did understand he wanted me and was very sick and everyone was upset. They never let me back, and I never saw him again.

 

[Santiago]

Waking up to not being able to breathe. My mom had decided to attempt to smother me in my sleep, with my pillow. I was 4.

How did you survive? Like did she stop herself?

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

How did you survive? Like did she stop herself?

Yeah, she ended up taking the pillow off my face and then locked herself in the bathroom, while I ran to my grandmother's apartment to hide. We lived in an apartment building, at the time, so it wasn't a far trek.

 

[Mort]

I cant remember much about my younger days mmt memory only gose back five to ten years ago. I do have one form when I was a kid its of my mother leaving me at play school and feeling all alone i think i was about 3 or 4 years old . In one way the was a taste of what was to cum a life of a loner . Thats about the only thing I can remember from back then the rest is just gone just a big black hole. I do get the felling though thats it was not planned sailing think i go bullied at school. Think thays why i keep to my self these days they all whays sum one trying to pull a fast one over me . Well i say tata for now folks

 

[2211264]

when I was about 4 years old, I creeped out of my room late at night to look around the corner and watch what my parents were watching on TV. It was a movie and a girl drowned at night in a river and there was a boy frantically trying to find/save her. only last year i found out what movie it was and I watched it. In the movie the Girl committed suicide by drowning. that scene of the movie was burned into my memory as soon as i saw it and it always felt weird and sad thinking about it