Discussion What is worse, traumatizing family or traumatizing a stranger?

[Dark Window]

I see a lot of people are against things like the train method because it involves, potentially, traumatizing a train driver.

But since many people who kill themselves do it via SN, overdose, hanging, gun in their own home for a family member to eventually find, which one is worse?

I'd be taking into consideration that family members are more likely to be devastated because they care about you.

 

[M48 Patton]

Either is terrible. My death will devastate my family but I can't live like this. I'm considering the train near me more and more if my sn doesn't come through.

I've come to terms though with what effect it will have.

Train would obviously devastate the driver but it's not their fault.

Ultimately those two would come together to make the situation worse.

 

[M48 Patton]

Just hoping it's fast enough to make it quick if I have to choose this method. It really is my plan b, not confident plan a will work

 

[Saturn_]

I would hope that my suicide traumatizes my mother. Serves her right

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I see both of them as equally traumatising. I see a family as a bunch of strangers related together by a human construct, nothing more

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I see a lot of people are against things like the train method because it involves, potentially, traumatizing a train driver.

But since many people who kill themselves do it via SN, overdose, hanging, gun in their own home for a family member to eventually find, which one is worse?

I'd be taking into consideration that family members are more likely to be devastated because they care about you.

Given the context provided here it's a tricky call because in a way family will blame themselves feeling it could've been prevented somehow while train drivers (although unintentionally) are basically aiding you in doing the deed and see themselves as a murder

Sure society or other people won't see it that way but themselves feel awful for it despite not knowing the victim

So it maybe obvious at 1st glance to say family taken into account this hypothetical situation you've provided you could just as easily make a case for the ladder

Especially if we're not taking "family" as plural and just referring to a family member as an individual

Plus regardless of which family would find of your death one way or another but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt in the aspect of you mean finding the corpse itself without warning

 

[Dark Window]

Poll added.

 

[Dark Window]

I would hope that my suicide traumatizes my mother. Serves her right

May I ask why?

 

[F@#$]

I plan on targeting my trauma towards the ones I loathe the most.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Many people consider using a hotel if they plan on using SN. It must still be traumatizibg for the people that work there but, you could at least make a sign to try and block the entrance and warn them to not enter but call the authorities.

It's got to be bad to varying degrees for anyone who has to deal with the aftermath. Even the police. It's very difficult though- when we aren't given access to assisted suicide. Given the choice, I suspect most people would choose that. All we can really do is minimize the trauma.

 

[ADBoy777]

I think both are equally bad. The question is what more important to you

For me my family are more important so I'm gonna do it in a hotel room or something outside of the country.

 

[Saturn_]

May I ask why?

The sole reason why my dad, sister and I are as miserable and maladjusted as we are. Tore our family apart in pursuit of her own self interest and greed. Constant physical and emotional abuse, and she always made sure the latter ran deep. Went FAR beyond yelling and name-calling. Tons of triangulation, gossip, pressure, and threats. Including pressuring me not to talk to my dad ever again, and using his name as an insult. She always tells my sister never to be like me, as if it wasn't her which set us all up for failure. She frequently assaulted my father when they still lived together and I was very little. Cheated on him too -- she's cheated on tons of men and swindled them out of money. Leeches off of men for a place to live, used my dad for citizenship. Dad says two men are dead by association with her. Neither of us know whether or not she murdered them, but given how violent and malevolent she is, I wouldn't put it past her to have some kind of involvement. She will actively find reasons to stir the pot, engage in screaming matches and corner you until you break down. And when you do, you're the abuser now. I could go on and on but that's just keeping it short. We could've been a perfectly happy family if not for her.

 

[Enga]

Most strangers won't be traumatized because they just don't care.

 

[Dark Window]

The sole reason why my dad, sister and I are as miserable and maladjusted as we are. Tore our family apart in pursuit of her own self interest and greed. Constant physical and emotional abuse, and she always made sure the latter ran deep. Went FAR beyond yelling and name-calling. Tons of triangulation, gossip, pressure, and threats. Including pressuring me not to talk to my dad ever again, and using his name as an insult. She always tells my sister never to be like me, as if it wasn't her which set us all up for failure. She frequently assaulted my father when they still lived together and I was very little. Cheated on him too -- she's cheated on tons of men and swindled them out of money. Leeches off of men for a place to live, used my dad for citizenship. Dad says two men are dead by association with her. Neither of us know whether or not she murdered them, but given how violent and malevolent she is, I wouldn't put it past her to have some kind of involvement. She will actively find reasons to stir the pot, engage in screaming matches and corner you until you break down. And when you do, you're the abuser now. I could go on and on but that's just keeping it short. We could've been a perfectly happy family if not for her.

Basically she's a narcissistic. So sorry. Please don't let her ruin your life completely. Get therapy for narcissistic abuse, if you haven't already.

Also I've heard the term triangulation before, can you explain what it means? I've looked it up but the definitions don't always seem to make sense.

 

[Saturn_]

Basically she's a narcissistic. So sorry. Please don't let her ruin your life completely. Get therapy for narcissistic abuse, if you haven't already.

Also I've heard the term triangulation before, can you explain what it means? I've looked it up but the definitions don't always seem to make sense.

In simpler terms, she pits people against each other. She really has a knack for isolating people from one another, making them distrust and avoid one another, and cutting off support so that all you've got is her.

 

[Dark Window]

Many people consider using a hotel if they plan on using SN. It must still be traumatizibg for the people that work there but, you could at least make a sign to try and block the entrance and warn them to not enter but call the authorities.

I remember quite a famous case where this happened and the guy was worried that his cover was blown.

Can anyone link me to it? I've been searching for the thread for months.

 

[thenamingofcats]

It's traumatizing to everyone but personally I feel strongly that no one has a right to bring outsiders into their suicide which means others families that have nothing to do with us. Obviously unless they're police, emt, etc.

 

[drearysunrise]

I personally dislike public suicides and for me I think the difference lies in whether a witness is finding your corpse after the fact or seeing you in the act of committing suicide. The former is bad but unavoidable for someone at some point, no matter whether you commit suicide or not, although it usually is more traumatizing if you do. The latter is almost always preventable.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I remember quite a famous case where this happened and the guy was worried that his cover was blown.

Can anyone link me to it? I've been searching for the thread for months.

From here was it? Plenty of members have talked about using hotels here.

Why, did he put the sign on the outside door or something?!! Or, was he worried someone would recognise him from here?

I imagine most people make a sign and try to block the entrance once someone has entered the room.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Traumatizing your family is worse but you should at least try to find a way to traumatize nobody...like being behind a door with a note or somehow making sure people see a note first and not you.

 

[Dark Window]

From here was it? Plenty of members have talked about using hotels here.

Why, did he put the sign on the outside door or something?!! Or, was he worried someone would recognise him from here?

I imagine most people make a sign and try to block the entrance once someone has entered the room.

I just remember a pretty well known member here talking about how he'd been broken for 15 years and he was killing himself in a hotel with SN or something else and he had planned it for months and put a sign just inside his hotel room to call police.

He said his cover was blown later on but didn't give info, but still successfully died.

I remember it was one of the first threads I saw last year. I can't remember how old the post was unfortunately.

 

[lita-lassi]

i find no justification in making my last moments someone else's personal hell. theres a difference between finding your body with a warning and involving others in your actual death. we know how shitty and painful trauma of varying degrees is and we know not everyone processes it the same; so why would you attempt to justify or gamble on a total strangers ability to be ok with killing you

what if that truck driver/train conductor/motorist has their own issues they're struggling with? what if that tips them over the edge into some horrible chain reaction of violence or mental breakdown?

haven't you wanted empathy your entire life, even from strangers?

just because YOU can think "wow they must have a good reason for this" having never run over someone before, THEY may not react to your hypothetical scenario how you desire

they won't. its fucked up. don't have other people kill without consent.

 

[Dark Window]

i find no justification in making my last moments someone else's personal hell. theres a difference between finding your body with a warning and involving others in your actual death. we know how shitty and painful trauma of varying degrees is and we know not everyone processes it the same; so why would you attempt to justify or gamble on a total strangers ability to be ok with killing you

what if that truck driver/train conductor/motorist has their own issues they're struggling with? what if that tips them over the edge into some horrible chain reaction of violence or mental breakdown?

haven't you wanted empathy your entire life, even from strangers?

just because YOU can think "wow they must have a good reason for this" having never run over someone before, THEY may not react to your hypothetical scenario how you desire

they won't. its fucked up. don't have other people kill without consent.

Understood, but if someone is going to find your body either way, who would you prefer it be?

 

[lita-lassi]

Understood, but if someone is going to find your body either way, who would you prefer it be?

hypothetically if i had the option id lock myself behind a door with a note on it saying to call the police, theres a dead body, no joke etc. its never going to be pleasant for anyone but at least professional paramedics or whoever is responsible for picking up the body knows how to do that and how to handle it as part of their normal job

 

[Coconut blue]

Some ppl don't care enough to be traumatized

 

[Dark Window]

hypothetically if i had the option id lock myself behind a door with a note on it saying to call the police, theres a dead body, no joke etc. its never going to be pleasant for anyone but at least professional paramedics or whoever is responsible for picking up the body knows how to do that and how to handle it as part of their normal job

You're basically avoiding the question.

Of course we'd all prefer the perfectly planned scenario, but if that was not an option, then what?

Some ppl don't care enough to be traumatized

Good point.

It's why public suicides are often recorded on many smart phones.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Strangers aren't human. They're just NPCs (non-playable christians)

 

[Dark Window]

Strangers aren't human. They're just NPCs (non-playable christians)

I see the term NPC popping up everywhere these days, can someone tell me what it means to be an NPC parent.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I see the term NPC popping up everywhere these days, can someone tell me what it means to be an NPC parent.

Non playable character. I don't know what an npc parent is