What is the End Goal of Recovery?

[dazed.daydreamer]

Is there really a better side to get to? An actual journey of healing that you largely get to the other side of? Or is the actual, realistic goal just survival?

It seems that every time I try to get better, I eventually end up back to where I started, like it's my equilibrium. Is there actually any getting better from this depression, dissociation, just struggling in life for no obvious reason (no trauma, super stressful circumstances, etc.), or is that just an illusion to push forward?

Is the real goal of getting through this to get better, or to just survive?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

To function broadly in line with societal norms and expectations whilst finding life worthwhile.

Details will vary depending on the mental health problems and the individual ways they manifest in different people.

 

[dazed.daydreamer]

To function broadly in line with societal norms and expectations whilst finding life worthwhile.

Details will vary for being on the mental health problems and the individual ways they manifest in different people.

My brain feels too cooked for either of those I'm frequently in low-functioning depressive episodes, too often to be able to make up for it when I'm better in a way that's sustainable in the real world (and I'm about to graduate college, where I'm barely able to get away with it, although while miserable and very stressed). And it's hard to find meaning in this when it's hard to recognize an objective meaning in the universe, at this point I don't think there is one (I've lost my religion, though I miss the sense of comfort, purpose, and community in it). I tried to find a sense of meaning in a mental healthcare career path, to help people for a living and bring purpose to my mental illness, but now it's at a point I have to recognize I cannot pursue the further higher-level schooling needed for that nor hold down a job because of how shit my mental health has been. I can't function. What's the point

 

[Kalista]

depends on your perspective, your expectations, level of self-awareness. it'll be worth it or it won't. you'll find some extent of happiness that can be latched onto or you'll just be miserable for as long as you live.

people who frequents there wants the pain to stop or at the very least manage it. all by not killing themselves and somehow 'overcoming' it. it's all about coping, being optimistic and always hoping for the best.

it has always been about survival. there are just ways to mask it to lessen the struggle of navigating through this society.

 

[heyismeman]

The end goal of recovery is to be able to recover

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

For me it has felt the most valuable to look to define what recovery looks like for myself. It seems to me that recovery will always feel far removed if it's someone else's idea.

Ways that can be helpful in finding that is looking at your own values and defining what's important to you. I would say that recovery is in the most general sense working towards that in someway.

Due to the varied nature of recovery, defining the goal of it is personal and can shift. It can often feel that we're not making any progress. As you say we often return to a similar place. Our habits of mind will usually return to the familiar. Returning to that place isn't a failure.

A long time ago I studied with a Zen teacher. She explained that often when we imagine what "good" meditation is we imagine some sort of pure and ideal mind. But, she compared meditation to physical exercise. Like the repetition of lifting and releasing a weight. The practice isn't all lifting, but also releasing. The repetition is what helps sculpt the body. I think recovery can be like that too.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

My brain feels too cooked for either of those I'm frequently in low-functioning depressive episodes, too often to be able to make up for it when I'm better in a way that's sustainable in the real world (and I'm about to graduate college, where I'm barely able to get away with it, although while miserable and very stressed). And it's hard to find meaning in this when it's hard to recognize an objective meaning in the universe, at this point I don't think there is one (I've lost my religion, though I miss the sense of comfort, purpose, and community in it). I tried to find a sense of meaning in a mental healthcare career path, to help people for a living and bring purpose to my mental illness, but now it's at a point I have to recognize I cannot pursue the further higher-level schooling needed for that nor hold down a job because of how shit my mental health has been. I can't function. What's the point

Well whatever other challenges you have to deal with, having a degree means you're in a significantly better position than you would be otherwise. Trust me on that.

Are you receiving any treatment! How have you been able to (almost) earn a degree?

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me- this is the main problem really. A 'full recovery' doesn't seem appealing. It just seems like complying to a life I already find exhausting. Maybe the goal is to find it less exhausting but, how likely is that to happen as I age? I just want to rest- permanently. But, resting doesn't pay the bills! So- when the end goal isn't even appealing, why would I have motivation to reach it?

So no. It's just a case of treading water for me. Trying to ensure things get no worse at least- until I'm able to leave. (Waiting for my Dad to go first.)

That ironically, will take a great deal of effort though and, in some ways, it will need to mirror 'recovery'. I'm going to need to force myself to do exercise soon. I really ought to make more effort to eat healthier. I'm going to have to push myself with work and worse- possibly social things. I'm trying 5HTP again in the hopes it will give me a lift. It's all so much harder though with no natural drive to want to succeed now.

 

[theshund]

Is there really a better side to get to? An actual journey of healing that you largely get to the other side of? Or is the actual, realistic goal just survival?

It seems that every time I try to get better, I eventually end up back to where I started, like it's my equilibrium. Is there actually any getting better from this depression, dissociation, just struggling in life for no obvious reason (no trauma, super stressful circumstances, etc.), or is that just an illusion to push forward?

Is the real goal of getting through this to get better, or to just survive?

Conformity. A lot of people on here are young, rebellious and (sorry) inexperienced. At that age you think life is unfair but you haven't experienced what unfair means. You have your friends, parents, a home. The problems are emotional because being young is emotional. Imagine all that is gone, that you have no home to go home to, only a shop doorway or a hostel full of crack addicts who want to rob you, everyone who gave a shit about you has cut you out. Imagine you are utterly alone, not just figuratively lonely in a crowd but completely alone. Just you to figure it all out and doing so in full knowledge that there's no hope, only treading water because that's the only option. There are no other options unless you figure out how to ctb or life cuts you some slack and you die quickly one day. Then imagine you have cancer and can't just go to hospital or lie in a bed but have to get through all the above. Then imagine you don't have all your stuff, only a bag of clothes, your phone and you stink because where do you wash or scrub your teeth? And then imagine there's no end to it, because there isn't because there's no magical fairytale coming back. Conformity means studying, getting a crappy job, somewhere crappy (but safe and warm) to live and then staying on that dull, uninspiring path because at least you can get clean and watch Netflix and go on dates and get annoyed by the people you love and who love you. You'll be bored most of the time and you won't change the world but you'll settle into it and join the rat race and for 99% of us that's the best we can expect and it's not so bad. Trust me.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

Is there really a better side to get to? An actual journey of healing that you largely get to the other side of? Or is the actual, realistic goal just survival?

It seems that every time I try to get better, I eventually end up back to where I started, like it's my equilibrium. Is there actually any getting better from this depression, dissociation, just struggling in life for no obvious reason (no trauma, super stressful circumstances, etc.), or is that just an illusion to push forward?

Is the real goal of getting through this to get better, or to just survive?

people do live beyond just survival, live a life where they feel happy. Though everyone suffers. That is just life. Some more than others, but suffer still the same. Recovery is more than a neutral feelings. It's noticing vibrant skies as the sun warms your face, staring at the clouds drifting lazily across the horizon. It's throwing away things meant to ctb because there's no need. It's look at the pretty little bugs climb across blades of grass. It's look at shimmering skyscrapers and feeling the collective passion and intensity of its people who dwell within it. It's driving home with a friend after watching a great movie, listening to music on the radio that soothes you, talking about things that make you smile, talking about things you look forward to. It's watching men carry their daughters on their shoulders as the kid enjoys an innocent bliss, and appreciating the love they share. It's feeling a wall around you, not one born from sadness, grief, pain, but one of passion, fury. One that helps carry you on the bad days, knowing good days will come. A calm temperance that has no need for SN, Rope, Guns... for purposes left unexaplaned. You can no longer feel the tight vice that grips your heart, your soul, and with time, you will slowly forget that feeling.

This is, to me, is what recovery means. it's up to you to decide what that word represents, and that goal.

I think there is a life of happiness for all of us. Maybe, the road there is so hard to find that, it feels better just to end it instead.

But I say that as I feel there is not hope for me that it is not even feeling or opinion,I treat it like fact. Common logic. Like recovery is an impossible gap that could never be crossed.

But that is my story, my path I walk. Find yours. It might sound campy, but you're unique. Your life story is different from mine, what's best for me might not be best for you.

Considering you're mentally ill (like most of us lol) its harder to get to a normal persons baseline, but again if you wish to live don't let me discourage you. Death is irreversible. The most common beliefs have you leave this meat shell, never to enter it again. Either in heaven or hell, the eternal nothingness, or born once again, YOU, as you stand now, will be forever left unfinished. That is the nature of suicide. We don't get to finished our stories. Some may argue otherwise but, in 99.9% of cases, that is what I believe.

So if you have doubt of ctb, don't do it yet I think. Keep trying for recovery. I'm rooting for you, man.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence, it's all just so cruel to me, I imagine it must be tiring what you have to go through. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

Happiness, meaning, purpose, and success.

Most people will find at least 2 or 3 of those. Hell, even most people with mental health issues will end up doing so as most people respond to treatment.

Not everyone, though, sadly, as some people are treatment-resistant or, like me, just fundamentally incompetent and not good enough at the core basics of life.