what proves more difficult and challenging for you? to gather/collect all the necessary items or to pluck up internal courage to depart?
Fadeawaaaay
Visionary
- Nov 12, 2021
- 2,158
freedompass
Warlock
- Jan 27, 2021
- 769
Internal courage. No question. I mean. I actually had N. Quantities of the stuff. It didn't strengthen my resolve to go ahead. I ended up abusing it to knock myself out so no longer have it (this is nearly 10 years ago). Now I have SN. Obvious issues with that, it comes in as a poor second to N but that isn't the real reason I'm not gone. Getting the supplies, for me, is the easy part.
Neither. Not suicidal so I don't need to gather materials at all. What matters is I already know of method(s) that work and are peaceful.
Darkover
Archangel
- Jul 29, 2021
- 5,651
pthnrdnojvsc
Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
- Aug 12, 2019
- 3,739
To get drugs or supplies for ctb is more difficult for me than to gather the courage or defeating si
Last edited:
I've had what I've needed for six months, not sure why I'm still here- getting myself to follow through has been much tougher for me.
I feel like if I had access to N or another more drink and see what happens method it's be a lot easier, however in the UK all methods are a lot more active (jumping hanging etc) and it's that that provides a block for me getting over the mental block of actively throwing myself or hanging potentially in pain til I pass out
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 44,997
Ctb can be very difficult as the society denies us the option of a peaceful exit and expects us to suffer for decades against our wishes. I have very limited access to methods personally, but I think that if an peaceful, accessible method was available for me, I would already be gone. I do think that in general, it is probably more difficult to actually have the courage to go through with ctb, as even know we want to die, all humans are programmed to survive. The fear of failure is the main thing that holds me back from ctb personally.
Getting all the items for the Nitrogen/Exit Bag method definitely more difficult than any mental hesitation to use it
I tried an exit bag last year (only reason it didn't work was user error haha) it's weird cause there is a slight moment of fear when you put the bag over your head but I think it's because we're told from such a young age not to put plastic bags over our heads but obviously once you're past that you're flying
