Discussion What is a "crush" to you?

[NumbItAll]

This may be a weird/dumb question but I am wondering how everyone defines "crush." The reason is that I've only ever had feelings for one person but people are always talking about their latest "crush" and I'm confused what that actually means. I personally don't consider just lust to be a crush because there are tons of attractive people and who cares right? Similarly, I'm confused how people can get into new relationships all the time when I can barely even make a friend. The plus side is I've avoided toxic situations that seem to be so prevalent in relationships, but the loneliness is almost literally killing me.

I'm interested in hearing from people who are more "normal" in this regard and also people like me who struggle forming even the slightest connection with anyone!

 

[brighter]

To me, a crush is when I keep mentioning them to the people around me and I avoid them purely because I get way too many butterflies when I'm around them.

 

[lemmeeleev]

It's hard for me to even make a friend too. I don't have any so that's as far as that has gotten. As for a crush, its avoiding them unless they come by you, and not saying a damn word cause they aren't going to like me anyways.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I think of a crush as a lighthearted thing. It's where you're not really infatuated but you look at the person and feel a certain something.

Connections are really formed by way of opportunity more than anything. It's the old cliche of putting yourself out there. You don't have to be that good at socializing to begin with (that will come) but you do have to be seen. Think of it like personal advertising.

Edit: to elaborate a bit (and because my post read like some Snapple cap advice) it was pretty easy to connect during my more social years at college. I'd take my friend at the time - who was really just a drinking buddy - and we'd get wasted and go to the bar. We weren't great at hooking up or anything but we met a lot of girls and were too drunk to be hung up on any single outcome. Humans are really just ants bumping into each other, when you think about it. People don't necessarily have many connections because they're so great or have wonderful personalities. It's just a case of putting yourself in the right positions.

 

[Final Escape]

This may be a weird/dumb question but I am wondering how everyone defines "crush." The reason is that I've only ever had feelings for one person but people are always talking about their latest "crush" and I'm confused what that actually means. I personally don't consider just lust to be a crush because there are tons of attractive people and who cares right? Similarly, I'm confused how people can get into new relationships all the time when I can barely even make a friend. The plus side is I've avoided toxic situations that seem to be so prevalent in relationships, but the loneliness is almost literally killing me.

I'm interested in hearing from people who are more "normal" in this regard and also people like me who struggle forming even the slightest connection with anyone!

https://www.returnofkings.com/124783/stop-trying-to-find-a-wife. I know u aren't necessarily trying to find a wife but this article is a good one for guys about meeting women.

 

[Never Free]

This may be a weird/dumb question but I am wondering how everyone defines "crush." The reason is that I've only ever had feelings for one person but people are always talking about their latest "crush" and I'm confused what that actually means. I personally don't consider just lust to be a crush because there are tons of attractive people and who cares right? Similarly, I'm confused how people can get into new relationships all the time when I can barely even make a friend. The plus side is I've avoided toxic situations that seem to be so prevalent in relationships, but the loneliness is almost literally killing me.

I'm interested in hearing from people who are more "normal" in this regard and also people like me who struggle forming even the slightest connection with anyone!

I consider a crush to be what happens before anything happens where you really are either upfront about your feelings, are dating, or together in any way. Sometimes mutual flirting, but you both are kind of waiting it out. Sometimes people have had crushes on me that I felt like they were a good friend, and I felt awkward and bad. I've had crushes mostly young where it felt one sided, and I feel a bit uncomfortable, as I prefer mutual falling for one another. Only I feel how you feel about crushes about trust kind of. I can't define it. I'm afraid of it. Also being suicidal has made me not want to commit to a relationship, as I feel it's not fair. I don't also want a fling. There are dark things in my past as well. I'm also worried about having kids, because of the suicidal feelings I feel it's inevitable I'll end up suiciding one day. Not to mention even if I'm "saved" again, it'll still crush them. I can't bear the thought.

 

[color_me_gone]

I am a guy who never even touched a girl until I was 28.
A girl where I worked started paying attention to me, which I reciprocated.
Soon we were dating, which then turned into a relationship, in which I lost my virginity.

The point here is, don't rush it - it will come.
But you DO have to put yourself out there.
You don't have to be a social butterfly,
but you do need to be around people, especially the sex you are attracted to.

Additional tip:
You are more likely to find someone when you live by yourself.
I can't explain why, but living at home with your parents is a deal breaker.
At least it was for me. :)

 

[Karl]

someone that I appreciate the beauty constantly

 

[Zaynaldeen]

I'm just like you OP, I can barely get friends, let alone get into a relationship. I've juvenile idiopathic arthritis. I can barely walk. I've failed many years of school. I rely on my parents financially. I'm an ex-Muslim. I'm short (172cm) and live in the country with the tallest people. Even if I would get a crush, which I don't, I'd have no interest in any form of relationship because there is no reason for anyone to ever get into a relationship with me. The only things I excel at are criticising Islam and some video games. It's been 7 years since my last crush and honestly, I'm probably asexual and/or aromantic. Crushes are a waste of time, they mess with your head and you receive no benefits from having one so it's best not to get involved in such things.

 

[EphemeralDream]

I think someone becomes a crush when I always want to be around him/her. And I want them to give me some attention. Or if I always think and miss him/her