I know mental illness can distort your view of yourself but I have enough evidence to know I'm no good. I feel so ashamed. I hate myself so, so so so so so much.
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11_Foraskenchild_11, astr4, Jealous Blackheart and 4 others
LostExit
In an ocean of sadness, it’s hard to keep swimming
I think we all feel broken brained.. especially after a rollercoaster of emotions or messing up with friends or family. I get irritated with the bs constantly racing through my brain. The feelings in the chest and stomach. If I could just hit the switch and turn off the "light" I'd been gone long ago with similar feeling. It's the fact that you can make those days better when you let go of what you've done to make you feel that way. Tho I'm never really good inside. I try to have good days in between.. sometimes it's only moments in between. I find on this banister of life, we slide down and get splinters in our ass all the way down.
You honestly don't seem like a crap person, rather it seems as though you are holding yourself to a standard that you cannot reach at the moment. Most people are shitty in one way or another so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. You have plenty of good aspects too. For example, you have continually demonstrated that you are a caring and empathetic person through some of your threads and posts on here.
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YandereMikuMistress and wildflowers1996
YandereMikuMistress
you say falling victim to myself is weak, so be it
I hate myself I spent long enough to know I should hate myself, irredeemable, I hate it,
Sure some bs will Play its part like you said developing a distorted view of yourself, but that can't be it because I genuinely think I'm evil people can call it what they want but i can't like myself in any way I just fuckin hate myself.
You really don't seem to like a bad person, but ay I don't know ya.
Then unlike the majority of humanity who deludes themselves on their benevolence, you have the self-awareness to acknowledge that and the ability to make changes.
That's all we can really ask of ourselves in a world that is designed to bring out the worst in us, anyway.
I keept doubting myself all the time...especially since I keep being told that im just victimizing myself and such...although while I do recongnize that I have flaws and made mistakes, I am certain that I am a person who kept giving more than they took before getting completely abandoned and that's part of what destroyed me.
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