What if I'm just not meant to live?

[NoMoreSerenity]

I have been fighting my entire life to get through the days. 29 years of fighting and fighting and fighting. I often think that some people are meant for things - meant for greatness, meant to be a parent, meant to be alone.

What if I'm not meant to live? What if I'm fighting for something that just isn't meant to be?

No matter what I do, it seems like I end up back at rock bottom. No matter the successes, no matter the little victories or good days. The default always seems to be failure. I've never felt good at being alive or getting through the day or succeeding at just existing. Throwing in the towel at trying to live feels so peaceful, like finally coming to terms with something I've been fighting my entire life.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Hello, I am glad you joined our community. I just wanted to say welcome. I know how you feel. I really tried my best but I don't think I was meant for this world. I am also starting to make peace with dying.

We are close in age as well. I am so sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. Life can be so cruel. All I can say is feel free to speak your mind. It feels nice to put your thoughts into words.

 

[ClownMe]

Welcome to SS!

As of late I have been wondering the same thing, I just don't feel like I belong here, this World just isn't for me, I wish I was never born so I didn't have to suffer through this every day.

 

[AppleTreeDog]

It's hard for me to think of anyone being meant for this or that, or not being meant for this or that. To me I just cannot find meaning or purpose in existing, I don't believe in fate or destiny. If a person is enjoying their life, then yay for that person. But I don't really see myself specifically as "not meant to live" when I basically just feel like nothing is meant for anything.

Anyway it's so understandable that you are tired of fighting after so many years. It's utterly exhausting. It sounds like you've made so much effort in life but are continuously met with obstacles and pitfalls. I honestly hope you can find the peace you seek.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel, I see myself as not being meant for this life. I should have never been born, I have always struggled to cope with this lifes problems. I want nothing to do with life and ctb is the only thing that feels right. I do believe that luck and chance does determine everything and is the explanation as to why some people suffer a lot more than others. It really is horrible being alive, it is a hopeless feeling when things just continue to go wrong. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[meetapple]

I used to think I could improve my status and that I would never CTB. Now, I feel that it is impossible and that no matter what I thought before the odds were always stacked against me.