We wanted to share a quick update with the community.
Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.
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Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.
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Yup.
I'm trying to cope with the knowledge that I'm likely to keep living and it's horrible. I probably won't summon the courage to step off the chair or buy the gun. I think I could do something like CO but that can easily go wrong. For some reason I remain emotionally attached to FSH--it is the method I have at hand. I keep reading about celebrities who did it. Am I really too weak to join the club? Come on. It's common.
I feel like im waiting for that one last horrible thing to happen , to get enough impulse to commit and fuck it we ball if i turn into a vegetable
Maybe that might help but maybe you will wait and wait and nothing will be that strong to make a turning point . I waited for that and lots of horrible things happened yet I am still unfortunately alive .
It's intensifying now. Bigger swings. I feel real relief at the thought of ending it and real anxiety when that hope wears off. (Second coffee might be involved here.) I haven't felt this consistently bad in my life. Every depression is deeper than the last. I have people counting on me tomorrow but maybe tomorrow night or early Sunday morning. I gotta stop this suffering.
