Personally I just don't have any interest in suffering in this existence, human existence just feels like a futile, torturous burden to me and it's something I'd never wish for, instead I only wish to never suffer in this existence ever again, only non-existence is desirable to me. No matter what existence will always feel like a mistake to me that just causes endless amounts of suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tormented, the thought of prolonging the suffering for way longer just to face the agony of extreme old age is just so horrific to me, I was just never meant for any of this anyway, I'd always prefer to die but really I wish I could just erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, I just want peace from all the suffering.