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goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
835
I need someone that i can completely give myself too someone that will care for me,someone that will guide me and protect me, someone that will do everything to understand me, someone who will commit themselves to me were i can commit myself to them too someone who will open up as much about their own problems as i do mine someone who can be firm with me for someone to openly accept me…i need someone who can handle me not someone who will tolerate me

I'm very fragile i'm hypersensitive and emotional I'm delgile quick to emotional breakdowns and episodes doesn't handle pressure and stress well has serve paranoia and trust issues has seperation and abandonment anxiety
 
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lizzywizzy09

Specialist
May 11, 2024
386
I need someone that i can completely give myself too someone that will care for me,someone that will guide me and protect me, someone that will do everything to understand me, someone who will commit themselves to me were i can commit myself to them too someone who will open up as much about their own problems as i do mine someone who can be firm with me for someone to openly accept me…i need someone who can handle me not someone who will tolerate me

I'm very fragile i'm hypersensitive and emotional I'm delgile quick to emotional breakdowns and episodes doesn't handle pressure and stress well has serve paranoia and trust issues has seperation and abandonment anxiety
Me too, friend. As it turns out, I was always one of those "hold my hand and explain like I'm five" people. Wish I knew.
 
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goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
835
Me too, friend. As it turns out, I was always one of those "hold my hand and explain like I'm five" people. Wish I knew.
Yea i wish i was strong enough to be that person for you…truth is j'm weak ^^'
 
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lizzywizzy09

Specialist
May 11, 2024
386
Yea i wish i was strong enough to be that person for you…truth is j'm weak ^^'
Same, friend. Life is cruel that way in that we often see things for how they are when it's too late. I'm so sorry.
 
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lost_ange2211

lost_ange2211

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
131
i feel that need, i have had it before but i also noticed the struggle with it.
I made the experience that it is better to have multiple people, some to be superficial with, some you can talk to about non medical problems, some you can talk to about your mental problems and other deep stuff. And then a partner, who gives you the feeling of being protected, loved and all the other good things we feel with certain people. But you need multiple people to be in balance, if you just have one person who is your everything, you will lose yourself to them and give them way too much control over you. If you have some friends, some other people to talk to about deep things and do stuff with you will find yourself much more balanced and alive than focusing on only one person in your life.
Every person needs space and time for themselves or with other people than their loved ones. It is more healthy to not be fully dependent on one single person as this person can destroy your whole life actively or passively.

Of course it is hard to make and find as many or as good friends to be in that kind of balance. But i myself never want to be as depended on one single, maybe special person anymore.
 
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goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
835
i feel that need, i have had it before but i also noticed the struggle with it.
I made the experience that it is better to have multiple people, some to be superficial with, some you can talk to about non medical problems, some you can talk to about your mental problems and other deep stuff. And then a partner, who gives you the feeling of being protected, loved and all the other good things we feel with certain people. But you need multiple people to be in balance, if you just have one person who is your everything, you will lose yourself to them and give them way too much control over you. If you have some friends, some other people to talk to about deep things and do stuff with you will find yourself much more balanced and alive than focusing on only one person in your life.
Every person needs space and time for themselves or with other people than their loved ones. It is more healthy to not be fully dependent on one single person as this person can destroy your whole life actively or passively.

Of course it is hard to make and find as many or as good friends to be in that kind of balance. But i myself never want to be as depended on one single, maybe special person anymore.
It's definitely better to have muitlple people thats a support network I've always craved and wanted but never managed to achieve what i feel i need is muiltple people who can support me on a deeper level while having people i can maybe just talk with causally but idk

It's difficult to find those people sadly but i still feel i need a number one of sorts but that's difficult to find in all honesty and tbh i dont mind the idea of being controlled it's certainly preferred to trying to control and hurt someone anyway

A guess its difficult for me to have a balance in anything really..i'll be frank with you

And i guess my inability to give space is my fatal flaw with how clingy and latched onto people i can get often can overwhelm and push people away

But i guess heighted codependency is a flaw i'm just not sure how to work on that fully to were it isn't a problem

And i feel you not wanting to be attached to one sole person anymore i guess thats somewhat were you and i differ but maybe i'm wrong to feel the way i do perhaps
 
lost_ange2211

lost_ange2211

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
131
It's definitely better to have multiple people thats a support network I've always craved and wanted but never managed to achieve what i feel i need is muiltple people who can support me on a deeper level while having people i can maybe just talk with causally but idk

It's difficult to find those people sadly but i still feel i need a number one of sorts but that's difficult to find in all honesty and tbh i dont mind the idea of being controlled it's certainly preferred to trying to control and hurt someone anyway

A guess its difficult for me to have a balance in anything really..i'll be frank with you

And i guess my inability to give space is my fatal flaw with how clingy and latched onto people i can get often can overwhelm and push people away

But i guess heighted codependency is a flaw i'm just not sure how to work on that fully to were it isn't a problem

And i feel you not wanting to be attached to one sole person anymore i guess thats somewhat were you and i differ but maybe i'm wrong to feel the way i do perhaps
Okay, yeah i can understand it.
Finding such friends is hard and i am also struggling with that so i just know the theory of that but can't really do it practically either.

I also am far from balanced but due to therapy and stuff i have come to think about what could help in the past, what could make it better and all the other things but my ctb thoughts are still louder and getting even louder.

I do not want to sound like a therapist but being clingy is a habit, just like anything else and that was formed and increased due to some experiences you made in the past. You could with work of therapy change that or at least decrease of how bad it gets - if you want to of course. I am just here to share ideas.

My opinion is coming from a mental abusive relationship i was in. The person was the world for me literally, he had everything i could ask and wish for, it felt like the perfect relationship, like two souls had found each other (at least that is what i thought for a long time), although he was also mental sick and probably had more problems than me. Intentionally or not he tried to force some stuff on me and tried to change my personality which made me wake up but i still stuck around him for months as "friends" as i was way too attached to him and couldn't let go. It still took a year to finally cut him out of my life completely, for the better and he still kept trying to get me back and made me feel worse. But he did not really want me, he did not see me like i was really, he had a different version of me in his head - but that person was not me.
That is the reason that i do not seek one sole person anymore, i need some balance myself and some people to talk to, some different opinions and ideas. But that's me and my story - yeah.
 
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goodoldnoname923

goodoldnoname923

Wanting to find peace
Mar 28, 2024
835
Okay, yeah i can understand it.
Finding such friends is hard and i am also struggling with that so i just know the theory of that but can't really do it practically either.

I also am far from balanced but due to therapy and stuff i have come to think about what could help in the past, what could make it better and all the other things but my ctb thoughts are still louder and getting even louder.

I do not want to sound like a therapist but being clingy is a habit, just like anything else and that was formed and increased due to some experiences you made in the past. You could with work of therapy change that or at least decrease of how bad it gets - if you want to of course. I am just here to share ideas.

My opinion is coming from a mental abusive relationship i was in. The person was the world for me literally, he had everything i could ask and wish for, it felt like the perfect relationship, like two souls had found each other (at least that is what i thought for a long time), although he was also mental sick and probably had more problems than me. Intentionally or not he tried to force some stuff on me and tried to change my personality which made me wake up but i still stuck around him for months as "friends" as i was way too attached to him and couldn't let go. It still took a year to finally cut him out of my life completely, for the better and he still kept trying to get me back and made me feel worse. But he did not really want me, he did not see me like i was really, he had a different version of me in his head - but that person was not me.
That is the reason that i do not seek one sole person anymore, i need some balance myself and some people to talk to, some different opinions and ideas. But that's me and my story - yeah.
Yea thats what sucks,and my intention to CTB is still heavily there and stronger than ever it seems yet I can't find the courage to go i hope you can continue to fight it though if you see potential good in your future or present

And i mean its a habit but also an emotional attachment too…i can get real feelings of anxiety and fear when separated from the one i'm attached to or fear they will forget about me or not like me or not want to speak to me anymore

Force you to change your personality and mentally ill…ouch unfortunately and sadly i feel that can certainly relate with my situation with my former friend…me being on the giving end sad to say…tried to push her to be what i needed and wanted her to be rather than accept her fully for who she was…I can't say i don't accept her for who she is fully…nor would i not given another chance it was something i reflected on a lot but i can see why she could potentially view me that way and yea i can see why you feel the way you do and hope you can find the people you desperately need
 
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