Help What does mania feel like?

[melancholymoonjuice]

Oh my god guys, I am so sorry if this is insensitive (especially to the people who have struggled with this kind of stuff for YEARS), but I really got to get this off my chest because I've been thinking about it so long. I feel so weird. I decided not to apply to art school this year, which is a fucking depressing ass decision because it's been my dream for so long to get out of this rat hole and now I am stuck one more year but I feel weirdly hyped about it. But in such a weird way. Like I feel like laughing and dancing and have sooo much energy but I still want to die!! It sooo weird like I still fucking hate life especially after all the political stuff that's been going on but I have so much fun and want to laugh. My body is exhausted, I can feel it, it's so heavy but I don't feel like sleeping. I am back at home and I hate it. I want to go outside and do stupid shit, like get drunk and take drugs and dance and maybe kiss a stranger but I am too much of a pussy to do it. I am still afraid of it. But I have such a deep craving for it it's crazy. And I feel a weird ache in my heart, like I am grieving something, but I don't know what I am grieving. I would love to talk to a professional about this but I don't have the patience to wait months for a therapy spot or energy to talk to a person who I need to convince of my suffering again. Dude I need to go to church tomorrow and I don't think god believes in me lol. What the fuck is going onnnnn

HOWW did I go from feeling like absolute shit to feeling like absolute shit on speed? It's so funny because I still feel like killing myself. WHAT THE FUUUCCK
Am I bipolar even if I haven't tried to kill myself yet or have any STDS? Should I try to CTB just for funsies? Then maybe I can prove that I need mood stabilizers <3 yay
Anyway EVERYONE IS SOOO EMPATHETIC!!! crazyyyy

People only grief cats AFTER they have run them down, that's just the way things go

 

[Grumpy Frog]

Am I bipolar even if I haven't tried to kill myself yet or have any STDS?

If you don't want to be insensitve don't be ignorant. The second part is real offensive I had to contemplate if you might be trolling. Go to a professional if you can't even know the basics of bipolar and go off stigma online. No one here can help you to begin with. It's the internet we know even less than you about you.

 

[melancholymoonjuice]

I

If you don't want to be insensitve don't be ignorant. The second part is real offensive I had to contemplate if you might be trolling. Go to a professional if you can't even know the basics of bipolar and go off stigma online. No one here can help you to begin with. It's the internet we know even less than you about you.

I'm sorry I wasn't feeling well

 

[happier than ever]

IT FEELS EPIC. i dont know if ive actually ever experienced mania but i have experienced hypomania, and it feels like the entire world is mine and feels very god-like experience

 

[divinemistress36]

My friend is bipolar this is what he experiences

 

[Ligottian]

I used to work with a bipolar guy. He once told a supervisor "I don't believe in Jesus, I am Jesus". Had numerous stays in the psych ward. I know he couldn't help it, but he could be a real pain to be around. I've never done coke, but the symptoms sound a bit like those of a cocaine addict. They put him on disability and he now lives in an assisted living home. I'm leaving a bunch of stuff out, but he told me he had a major nervous breakdown in the military that left him in a comatose state for three months.