Discussion What does it feel like to own a gun/N?

[thrwaway99]

I wish I could know what it feels like to own a reliable, quick and peaceful method such as a shotty (or any gun) or two bottles of N.

Anyone of you lucky enough to own something like that or if you don't can you at least imagine what it'd be like to be one quick & painless step from total and complete freedom?

 

[CloudedPath]

One can only wish

 

[Soul]

I've been hoarding meds for ages, because having a lethal dose around always made me feel secure. Having a choice is a great thing and it makes it easier to enjoy life.

(I know now that most of the meds I collected were useless for suicide, so I've upgraded, but faith was important.)

 

[calendulo]

To have Nembutal and a gun are different things, i do not see any relationship between them, well, yes both can kill you.
In my own case, at the beginnings I thouhgt I had got certain control about all process of self deliverance After I spent a year searching a method reasonable and accurate, I was succesful, but as I did not know what is inside the bottle, could be a scam, maybe though.

But last week, another member (who had bought at same time as me) made her choice and said bye bye, at least since five days ago. And every day ask myself how did she die, did she suffer, a million of questions. Seems to be true what is inside the bottle.

Doing a summarize, I would say that it does feel a huge peace.
This method lets everything slide down it, like water off a duck's back.

 

[burnedCookie]

I think it depends, those who have a terminal illness are generally relieved since they have now the means to escape unnecessary suffering or humiliation
for me I feel somewhat relieved because it's one less problem to solve and I don't have to stress about it anymore, I can fully return to my daily routine

 

[Shamana]

I wish I could know what it feels like to own a reliable, quick and peaceful method such as a shotty (or any gun) or two bottles of N.

Anyone of you lucky enough to own something like that or if you don't can you at least imagine what it'd be like to be one quick & painless step from total and complete freedom?

I don't have N, but I have SN and the Amitrypteline cocktail. Have to admit it doesn't feel as liberating as I'd hoped it would.

 

[thrwaway99]

I don't have N, but I have SN and the Amitrypteline cocktail. Have to admit it doesn't feel as liberating as I'd hoped it would.

But neither SN nor ami cocktail are as quick, painless and reliable as gun/N. I mean, there is too much distrust towards SN on the forums so the psychology is clearly not the same. Maybe if one decided that stat dose is enough SN would then be more in the vein of gun/N? Idk.

 

[Shamana]

But neither SN nor ami cocktail are as quick, painless and reliable as gun/N. I mean, there is too much distrust towards SN on the forums so the psychology is clearly not the same. Maybe if one decided that stat dose is enough SN would then be more in the vein of gun/N? Idk.

That's true, I guess in my case since I'm buddhist, I'm not confident that my death is followed by nothingness. I believe I will just be in the Bardo of transmigration which is supposed to very traumatic. I don't have a burning wish to die either, I just hate living with my illnesses that is only getting worse and is going to get worse.

 

[thrwaway99]

That's true, I guess in my case since I'm buddhist, I'm not confident that my death is followed by nothingness. I believe I will just be in the Bardo of transmigration which is supposed to very traumatic. I don't have a burning wish to die either, I just hate living with my illnesses that is only getting worse and is going to get worse.

I wouldn't worry about religion or afterlife. There's over four thousand religions and those are all belief paradigms yet all of us are born into the same place (Earth) via the same route.. So likely the afterlife is just the next natural step.

 

[Shamana]

I wouldn't worry about religion or afterlife. There's over four thousand religions and those are all belief paradigms yet all of us are born into the same place (Earth) via the same route.. So likely the afterlife is just the next natural step.

Rebirth in buddhism is from the perspective of beginningless time. All the animals we eat for dinner have at some point been humans in a previous life and we may yet again end up as someone's dinner depending on our karma. Simply being born human is supposed to be immensly rare.

 

[thrwaway99]

Rebirth in buddhism is from the perspective of beginningless time. All the animals we eat for dinner have at some point been humans in a previous life and we may yet again end up as someone's dinner depending on our karma. Simply being born human is supposed to be immensly rare.

Yeah ok I don't believe that but not saying there's anything wrong with Buddhism

 

[Shamana]

Yeah ok I don't believe that but not saying there's anything wrong with Buddhism

That's fine, I don't expect people to.

 

[Soul]

Rebirth in buddhism is from the perspective of beginningless time. All the animals we eat for dinner have at some point been humans in a previous life and we may yet again end up as someone's dinner depending on our karma. Simply being born human is supposed to be immensly rare.

Wait - ALL the animals people eat were once humans? That seems at odds with the concept that it's rare to be born human, considering the variety of animals people eat when they have to.

Please tell us more!

 

[Shamana]

Wait - ALL the animals people eat were once humans? That seems at odds with the concept that it's rare to be born human, considering the variety of animals people eat when they have to.

Please tell us more!

It's from the concept of beginningless time. If the chance of being born human in is 1 in a billion then in a backdrop of beginningless time/eternity there is a quite high chance. It's also from the backdrop of beginningless time there is a chance for animals to being born human again from merit of past lives because once you're in the animal realm it's kind of almost impossible to generate merit.

The scope of samsara is not in anyway limited to planet earth, or this galaxy or this universe. In buddhist cosmology this universe is just a sandcorn in a desert of near infinite universes.

It's impossible for me to say that ALL animals have been humans. Just in general in buddhism we say that we have all sometimes in the past been eachothers mothers, fathers, brother, sisters, friends, lovers and partners. We also say that in some point in the past we have spent lives as animals, gods, asuras, hellbeings etc.

In buddhism there no such thing as an "old" soul or "new" soul. However a human being who may have practiced wisdom for many lifetimes may appear as an old soul and someone who came straight from the animal realm may appear as an immature "new" soul.

 

[Soul]

So dinosaurs could have been humans? Cool. 8]

 

[Shamana]

So dinosaurs could have been humans? Cool. 8]

Yeah and we could have been dinosaurs in a past life.

 

[Soul]

Yeah and we could have been dinosaurs in a past life.

That part I knew but I didn't realise it was a two-way street. No wonder I've always loved them 8]

 

[Shamana]

That part I knew but I didn't realise it was a two-way street. No wonder I've always loved them 8]

I've always kind of felt like a dinosaur. No wonder I havn't been able to settle in. I am a dinosaur trapped in a man's body.
Food for thought.

 

[CURSED again]

Everyone that has N or F are incredibly fortunate (i think about it all the time) - i found out about all this stuff too late and would need computer expertise (help) to purchase it & the only person i personally know that is maybe smart enough to figure out all the bitcoin & darknet etc stuff is the same person that thought they were doing me a favor having me involuntarily put in psych so now i cannot even legally get a gun. Its very frustrating knowing about N & F but them being so problematic to procure.

 

[thrwaway99]

Everyone that has N or F are incredibly fortunate (i think about it all the time) - i found out about all this stuff too late and would need computer expertise (help) to purchase it & the only person i personally know that is maybe smart enough to figure out all the bitcoin & darknet etc stuff is the same person that thought they were doing me a favor having me involuntarily put in psych so now i cannot even legally get a gun. Its very frustrating knowing about N & F but them being so problematic to procure.

The darknet is easy to figure out, there's lots of guides online. Coinbase, tor, some onion marketplace with reputable vendors in your country (to avoid customs).