On a side note, as somebody who has a total of three brothers, two of which have gone through with their final act, there is one brother who does not suffer from this beast and it pains him because he feels like he could have talked to them about it. If you go through with CTB please leave a note saying that nobody could have talked to you out of it, that there isn't anything they could have said to change your desire to pass and follow through with the act. I too am going to catch the bus within the next couple of months after I procure the gun etc and I have talked to my brother about this depression that I've suffered from for over 40 years but when I follow through I'll be sure to mention that I have appreciated my friendship or relationship with him which may or may not be the case, it's just important to do for his peace of mind so he doesn't hold himself accountable, my suicide does not reflect on our relationship or lack thereof and I don't want to paint him any further