I don't really 'hate' anything about life the way I hate savoy for example, or getting up early or doing the dishes. The real things, the things that really matter - life, the world, people - I can't hate. But they can sadden me.
It saddens me to live in a world where survival of the fittest is still the norm and such fitness is usually granted by luck. It saddens me that only a particular type of people is deemed acceptable, successful and desirable while others through no doing of their own fall outside this group and are therefore treated the exact opposite. It saddens me that kindness is so hard to find, whereas vanity and egotism are praised; if not openly, then at least by virtue of rewarding them. It saddens me that terrible things happen to good people and good things to terrible people, usually because terrible people can buy good things - both material and immaterial - and that being awful often got them in that privileged position in the first place. It saddens me that there's so many people who feel as though they have the right to meddle in other people's lives and try to get them to live by their narrow standards. It saddens me that my very existence is the subject of political and social debates. It saddens me to watch a Youtube video of Liv Tyler - the most beautiful woman in the world to me ever since I was a little child and first laid eyes on Arwen Undomiel - giving an interview in her gentle voice and being trashed in the comments for 'looking like a potato nowadays' - a woman who had three children and didn't (like the rest of showbiz) immediately starve herself and overexercise to get back to size 2 within a month.
All that said, whether you want to hear it or not, I do feel like I just have to say this once after reading your original post: It's okay to be scared, it is absolutely terrifying. And it's okay to back out of it if you're too scared now or for whatever other reason. If Monday isn't your time, it isn't your time. We'll still be here. Most of us.
