calavera
Member
- Dec 11, 2019
- 13
Do any of you have severe FOMO like me that makes weekens insufferable? I maybe go to meet my only friend, get drunk alone, sleep or make plans for suicide.
oh I used to love studying and was able to spend all my free time with spanish dictionary or encyclopedia in my hands, but now that I made up my mind.. Studying just makes me feel obligated to live on and use my knowledge.when in good mental state:
study philosophy or read in general
cook and run, relax in hammock
meet friends sometimes
lie in bathtub until skin starts disintegrating
when in bad mental state:
eat too much
pace around all day but never actually get anything done (I don't even have things to get done)
stare into the distance, ruminate
compulsively follow certain 'patterns'
at worst:
become catatonic
last refuge fetal position hours on end on bathroom floor
Edit: oh yes, and work lol but I got laid off and won't look for work until decision has been made ( have a little cash saved up )
Same thing I do everyday... Wake up and get my cup of coffee, get on the computer and I'll stay on it all day until I become so exhausted that I have no choice, but to go to bed. So I pretty much just watch YouTube videos, documentaries, listen to music, browse this forum, and play video games all day everyday.
I wish it was the life... I'm stuck in an abusive / toxic environment that all I do is stay in my room to avoid it. I live in constant fear and go to great lengths to avoid my abuser. It was so bad to the point I'd pee in cups to avoid him as he'd always pace back and forth when I was using the bathroom and later throw them out. I don't have a shower, all I have is a sink, but luckily I have a toilet now. I'm on disability and live on food stamps due to my severe mental illnesses. I can't leave the house before texting my mother asking her if it's safe to go out. I have stayed outside in cold weather until my mom texts me letting me know it's safe to go back in. I can't order food without my family starting shit... Recently the delivery person bailed due to being so afraid because my family was yelling over it. The company actually called me saying how the person delivering it was afraid and could they just drop the food outside. My abuser threatened to eat my food despite the fact I bought it with my OWN money. It wasn't until I got on disability that I was able to afford anything. I was wearing clothes I had since I was 14 years old until then. Like, I had nothing. And I still don't, but at least there's some wiggle room. Definitely not a good life.That's the life honestly. I'd do the same if I wasn't forced to assimilate into wage slavery.
I wish it was the life... I'm stuck in an abusive / toxic environment that all I do is stay in my room to avoid it. I live in constant fear and go to great lengths to avoid my abuser. It was so bad to the point I'd pee in cups to avoid him as he'd always pace back and forth when I was using the bathroom and later throw them out. I don't have a shower, all I have is a sink, but luckily I have a toilet now. I'm on disability and live on food stamps due to my severe mental illnesses. I can't leave the house before texting my mother asking her if it's safe to go out. I have stayed outside in cold weather until my mom texts me letting me know it's safe to go back in. I can't order food without my family starting shit... Recently the delivery person bailed due to being so afraid because my family was yelling over it. The company actually called me saying how the person delivering it was afraid and could they just drop the food outside. My abuser threatened to eat my food despite the fact I bought it with my OWN money. It wasn't until I got on disability that I was able to afford anything. I was wearing clothes I had since I was 14 years old until then. Like, I had nothing. And I still don't, but at least there's some wiggle room. Definitely not a good life.
Why do we do this? I do this sometimes, it can get out of hand very quickly multiple days in a row.Lay around all day and then later on when its night complain how I wasted the day and feel guilty.