Help What do I do?

[needtogo]

I made a post the other day about my situation.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/absolute-mindfuck.29595/

I've decided I need to ctb. I'm driving with my parents right now and I'm fucked because once I get to this residential place I have no phone for a month, and constant supervision for even longer. I've waited too long. There is no hope for me. That's not even a blanket statement. I've worked out every scenario. It all ends with me in a psych ward being force fed shit and drugged. I need to go before I get to that point. What's my best option once I get temporary freedom in a month? Should I just try to find a gun store near me? I'm not gonna have enough money buy one though. I'm literally fucked. I had the perfect life and all it took was just a botched medication switch by fucking idiot doctors. Do I try to find a place to jump? I didn't plan this shit out. I need to permanently destroy my consciousness. I can't handle this.

 

[lmroch]

Hello @needtogo There is a wealth of information on the site for us to go threw.
Also re buying a gun, one has to pass background checks, etc.

SS Resource Compilation has masses of information:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

There are other threads of the community educating each other on many threads.
You can easily use the search tab on the top right side, with threads of tips and failures.

One key thing that rings over and over is that you must do your research, and plan well.
Impulsive things don't usually work out it seems. It's best to not make mistakes. Hope that helps

​

 

[jgm63]

I made a post the other day about my situation.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/absolute-mindfuck.29595/

I've decided I need to ctb. I'm driving with my parents right now and I'm fucked because once I get to this residential place I have no phone for a month, and constant supervision for even longer. I've waited too long. There is no hope for me. That's not even a blanket statement. I've worked out every scenario. It all ends with me in a psych ward being force fed shit and drugged. I need to go before I get to that point. What's my best option once I get temporary freedom in a month? Should I just try to find a gun store near me? I'm not gonna have enough money buy one though. I'm literally fucked. I had the perfect life and all it took was just a botched medication switch by fucking idiot doctors. Do I try to find a place to jump? I didn't plan this shit out. I need to permanently destroy my consciousness. I can't handle this.

Well if you've fully decided that you intend to CTB, then the first thing would be to select a method.
Have you looked into the SN method ?

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[needtogo]

Well if you've fully decided that you intend to CTB, then the first thing would be to select a method.
Have you looked into the SN method ?

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

I suggest you read the post I linked and my comments under it regarding my experiences with "help". This is not as impulsive as it seems.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My suggestions:

If you can't ctb, instead prepare for the residential place. Can you get to a printer? You need a living will and a directive that you refuse all medications and such interventions. If you can't, ask the facility if they have such paperwork, or maybe they'll give you computer and printer access when you're there, but make it known right away that you refuse meds, that your goal is to get off of them, and that they are allowed to assist you with that.

Also, when you fill out the releases of information, make sure that no one, including your parents, is to be given information about your treatment, and that the facility is not allowed to tell your parents anything more than confirming you are there.

If you attempt to ctb now and fail, you're likely going to be forced to take meds. Go in acting sane, stay calm and firm about what you want, participate in everything but remain rational and firm about meds. By participating, I mean show up for groups and appointments, answer when spoken to, and try to get better on your own, inside, without letting them in. Fake it. Plan your ctb in your mind if that helps, you'll have a month to think about it, or to plan how to use the time in that upcoming respite.

I'm trying to help you feel empowered. I know this is scary and difficult.

 

[jgm63]

I suggest you read the post I linked and my comments under it regarding my experiences with "help". This is not as impulsive as it seems.

I understand. That comment is added for protection purposes, since we should not be seen as encouraging people from a legal viewpoint.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My suggestions:

If you can't ctb, instead prepare for the residential place. Can you get to a printer? You need a living will and a directive that you refuse all medications and such interventions. If you can't, ask the facility if they have such paperwork, or maybe they'll give you computer and printer access when you're there, but make it known right away that you refuse meds, that your goal is to get off of them, and that they are allowed to assist you with that.

Also, when you fill out the releases of information, make sure that no one, including your parents, is to be given information about your treatment, and that the facility is not allowed to tell your parents anything more than confirming you are there.

If you attempt to ctb now and fail, you're likely going to be forced to take meds. Go in acting sane, stay calm and firm about what you want, participate in everything but remain rational and firm about meds. By participating, I mean show up for groups and appointments, answer when spoken to, and try to get better on your own, inside, without letting them in. Fake it. Plan your ctb in your mind if that helps, you'll have a month to think about it, or to plan how to use the time in that upcoming respite.

I'm trying to help you feel empowered. I know this is scary and difficult.

BTW, I'm not encouraging you to cbt! Just pointing out you have time to think about it and trying to give you ideas for things to focus on so you feel empowered instead of helpless and in fear.

 

[needtogo]

I understand. That comment is added for protection purposes, since we should not be seen as encouraging people from a legal viewpoint.

I'm sorry if I sounded harsh. I appreciate your comment. I understand now.

My suggestions:

If you can't ctb, instead prepare for the residential place. Can you get to a printer? You need a living will and a directive that you refuse all medications and such interventions. If you can't, ask the facility if they have such paperwork, or maybe they'll give you computer and printer access when you're there, but make it known right away that you refuse meds, that your goal is to get off of them, and that they are allowed to assist you with that.

Also, when you fill out the releases of information, make sure that no one, including your parents, is to be given information about your treatment, and that the facility is not allowed to tell your parents anything more than confirming you are there.

If you attempt to ctb now and fail, you're likely going to be forced to take meds. Go in acting sane, stay calm and firm about what you want, participate in everything but remain rational and firm about meds. By participating, I mean show up for groups and appointments, answer when spoken to, and try to get better on your own, inside, without letting them in. Fake it. Plan your ctb in your mind if that helps, you'll have a month to think about it, or to plan how to use the time in that upcoming respite.

I'm trying to help you feel empowered. I know this is scary and difficult.

BTW, I'm not encouraging you to cbt! Just pointing out you have time to think about it and trying to give you ideas for things to focus on so you feel empowered instead of helpless and in fear.

Thank you for the comment. This sounds like a good plan to me.