what did u guys feel when u joined a suicide forum?

[chimeraq]

hey,
a simple question really. i am crying. like, i feel like i am giong deeper and realer into this whole suicide thing and there might be no way back.

 

[Throwaway9787]

felt like there was a community for me

 

[not_a_robot]

Relieved. It's the first time I've ever felt even halfway understood.

 

[chimeraq]

i just feel sad. just sad that this is what my life has come to. and also sad and burdened by the thought that what a big difference there is between my public persona and my real insides. i am normal outside but in reality i am on a suicide forum. and also that i am lying to my family about being okay. and that i cry when i think what will my family feel if they come to know that i am a member of a suicide community.

 

[ExitTheDay]

Ever since I joined this forum I've become a little more content and come to accept that the bullshit that goes on in my life is insignificant to the problems some other users face on here

 

[chimeraq]

Ever since I joined this forum I've become a little more content and come to accept that the bullshit that goes on in my life is insignificant to the problems some other users face on here

yeah but how does that help? like i break my foot and it hurts. i know that someone else has a bigger problem (terminal cancer, say) but that doesn't decrease the excrutiating pain in my leg.

 

[not_a_robot]

i just feel sad. just sad that this is what my life has come to. and also sad and burdened by the thought that what a big difference there is between my public persona and my real insides. i am normal outside but in reality i am on a suicide forum. and also that i am lying to my family about being okay. and that i cry when i think what will my family feel if they come to know that i am a member of a suicide community.

I would be this depressed if I stopped smoking weed for a day.

 

[Halo13]

I felt understood.

 

[chimeraq]

I felt understood.

what do you mean? living is painful so i am not gonna live anymore. how much understanding does this need really?

 

[rata1]

i felt like among people that belong to the planet or world where i should have been born. but erroneously i was born in the world i live irl, which is probably the "real world". thanks ss! honestly

 

[Halo13]

what do you mean? living is painful so i am not gonna live anymore. how much understanding does this need really?

I meant I felt I found a forum of people with a similar mindset on the subject of suicide. People who understand how it feels. It's comforting for while I'm still here.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

It's given me people I can talk to. Who understand what pain it takes to consider ctb. Knowing I won't be judged for wanting to ctb or told I'm wrong. If I talked to anyone else about it I'd probably end up being sectioned.
It's a release to vent on here.

 

[Solongthx4theshoes]

i just feel sad. just sad that this is what my life has come to. and also sad and burdened by the thought that what a big difference there is between my public persona and my real insides. i am normal outside but in reality i am on a suicide forum. and also that i am lying to my family about being okay. and that i cry when i think what will my family feel if they come to know that i am a member of a suicide community.

You can talk/vent here all you want and get REAL RESPONSES from (mostly) REAL PEOPLE who are going or have gone through a similar experience. At the end of the day, I (and most everyone else I believe) joined the community to be ... well.. part of a community. One that understands that life aint always rainbows and sunshine, infact in can be quite hellish, and that at the end of the day knows its YOUR DECISION, and the community will respect it, weather your breathing or not

 

[BeenDoneForSoLong]

Just started lurking for the first few months. But it feels good to be around to talk about shit without *the illogical bullshit of "NONONONO it doesn't matter HOW bad your life is you can't END it because your LIFE!!!". It's nice to be able to try and work through shit without suicide being this massive taboo.

I'm not sure how to get over with how I feel about life. But I can't begin to do that- without first aknowledging the most obvious option as being a very real possibility.

 

[painoflife]

Relieved that I am not the only person who feels "like this".
Also relieved that I can find a lot of information here to make things as easy as possible when a date is set.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

Relieved that I am not the only person who feels "like this".
Also relieved that I can find a lot of information here to make things as easy as possible when a date is set.

Welcome! You are definitely not the only one. There are many people out there who feel like us. Most never make it to this forum and suffer alone.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I didn't even realized that such a communiry existed, since I had so much tried to find one, including on the darknet. I quickly felt good because I at least found a community where I felt as a member.

 

[SirChuxAlot]

I honestly thought this was a troll forum similar to 4chan when I first found it. As I kept looking and reading into posts and some other user's outlooks and experiences, I knew I found a perfect place to connect and share with other people who may deal with the same issues. I was also looking for ways to CTB, effectively.

To conclude, this place is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and I am glad I found it.

 

[Death_is_Escape]

I am happy to have been accepted!

 

[Brainpain]

This is not my first . And relief that I could talk about my deepest darkest secret (wanting to ctb and having N) without being hauled off to the bin it judged. Knowing I'm not alone in having the pain that brought me to this. Also, sadness because I realize there are so many others who hurt like I do and I don't wish this pain on anyone

 

[Taetre]

It's been great, i feel understood and i can relate so much to this community. It's good to talk about suicide with mature, non-judgemental people.

 

[Laststop]

I'm glad to be here. I tried joining after I lost my job, but had trouble. When things got worse I finally pushed a little harder at getting in and made it. I HAD to have other people to "talk" to. CTB was always a taboo subject just by default from everyday life. When I changed I felt alone. No one talks to each other about it in regular life. It's a good way to get trouble you don't need by trying. I don't know if it should, or not, but makes me feel better to have a place to go, and people I can talk to about it.

 

[Sailfisher]

When you hit the bottom, there is only one way to go, up... I hope we are able to lift each other up if that is possible and desired.

 

[ScottPilgram]

I felt suprised. I was activley seeking something like this and I found it through a link posted on reddit and I couldn't believe it existed. I think that night I was so depressed it physically hurt. I just needed something where I felt like I belonged. I felt anxious trying to join because it felt like i was filling out a job interview. But heere I am now.

 

[Mbound]

It was a bit surreal but I was thankful this resource existed

 

[Dawn0071111]

I felt like I was in the right place.

 

[Maiden]

I agree with everyone who said relief. I also find it comforting to talk with people who can agree that ending it all is an option instead of automatically insisting I must live.

 

[Mr2005]

Same way I felt when I joined a time travel forum. "If only I'd joined a plastic surgery forum in the first place I wouldn't be doing this" . Fucking forums, fucking internet, fucking fuck!

 

[FF777]

I've only joined a few days ago, but I had 2 main thoughts when I first looked around this place:
1: i thought "wow there are other people that don't mind suicide ideation, now i don't feel like such an outcast"
and 2: i thought "wow there are actually some people that are suffering as much or more than I am"

......maybe there is a 3rd thought too.....but i didn't want to give the site a bad reputation or any thing, but the site kind of gives you a sense of "it is okay to let go....it is okay to finally have peace from your long agony", and helps to remove the stigma that is usually associated with ctb..

Any one who thinks this site is "bad" is trying to decide other people's morals for them.. People don't join this place for fun; they join it for much needed comfort and belonging and easement for their suffering.. To take that away from any one could be seen as immoral in its self..

 

[Bardia]

I feel incredibly grateful for the understanding and empathy I found here. There's a refreshing lack of judgment.

There are a few here for whom being right is more important to them in a discussion than listening and discovering the truth through honest inquiry, but I'd argue far less so than average for the Internet.