whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
Options.

1. You normally refuse to engage with people because you believe they would find you very odd, off-putting, unrelatable, pathetic if you showed your true self.

2. You actually are very odd, off-putting, unrelatable or pathetic.

3. You're chronically ill and/or crippled. Lack energy, lack mobility, etc. BONUS: You're a young adult that's chronically ill/crippled.

4. You are very anhedonic and negative, your hobbies went to the trash bin a few years ago, the few interests that remain are at odds with mainstream ideas. One of your last hobbies is to participate in a suicide forum.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
2. You actually are very odd, off-putting, unrelatable or pathetic.
4. You are very anhedonic and negative, your hobbies went to the trash bin a few years ago, the few interests that remain are at odds with mainstream ideas. One of your last hobbies is to participate in a suicide forum.

66313dd3c4a5933a39116b2f411635aefa58a250_hq.gif
 
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SunshineAndSuicide

SunshineAndSuicide

Sunshine is what's keeping me alive
Aug 24, 2022
75
For me it's definitely 1 & 4 ! My interest and general knowledge consist of suicide methods which makes small talk a living nightmare and I don't care about anything else in life.
 
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
343
Options.

1. You normally refuse to engage with people because you believe they would find you very odd, off-putting, unrelatable, pathetic if you showed your true self.

2. You actually are very odd, off-putting, unrelatable or pathetic.

3. You're chronically ill and/or crippled. Lack energy, lack mobility, etc. BONUS: You're a young adult that's chronically ill/crippled.

4. You are very anhedonic and negative, your hobbies went to the trash bin a few years ago, the few interests that remain are at odds with mainstream ideas. One of your last hobbies is to participate in a suicide forum.
2.
 
actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
I am partially all of those, Only partially tho.

Well I have Asperger's and I am low on energy, so If I do not mask people would find me odd, people tell me I act weird also. I have to constantly think what NT people really mean when they say things- which is annoying. I have to suppress impulses I have to stim or say things that I really have in mind and beat around a bush.

I have also niche hobbies I cannot share with people. I do not know what people expect as hobby, only time I have heard somebody talk openly about their hobby was when guy was riding a motor. Maybe doing crossfit. Parents expecting me to have hobby were super fucking annoying at one point. I draw furry characters and comics so that's It- that is for people super weird, I feel odd even in circle of people who do that (I do like drawing dark subjects which is in cool contrast with how cute/innocent furry characters usually are)

My ideas and worldviews are also pretty complex and to be honest with people and share my opinion on things I feel I would first have to bring them up to date XD
But I could fit into situations like watching match together, If I was masking my autism. I can hang out with people younger then me tho playing multiplayer games. I just have that chaotic energy childish energy in me still that likes to shout random fucking noises- I like to believe everyone does that as they loose match at fps game or get crazy kill or two.

But It is not that bad for me- I can still fit in the classroom setting or hang out with my small group of friends (which happens once every blue moon or only in special occasions). It is just I cannot hang out with nts

Also fuck the times in my primary school when parents asked me to do something to have more friends
 
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WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Paragon
Jun 19, 2022
980
A mix of 2 and 4 for me, certainly. But I also refuse to engage with people.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
5a. You lost someone important to you and aren't outgoing/motivated enough to engage with a lot of new people, or 5b. You're generally a private individual that still misses good company. Bonus: Toxic family.

I think would be quite a lot of people too.
 
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WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Paragon
Jun 19, 2022
980
5a. You lost someone important to you and aren't outgoing/motivated enough to engage with a lot of new people, or 5b. You're generally a private individual that still misses good company. Bonus: Toxic family.

I think would be quite a lot of people too.
Good points. I also quite like keeping my own privacy, at least in the real world.
 
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Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
1,343
There is a missing point:
The refusal of others to relate to you. This is what happened to me since I was 2 years old. Somehow at the age of two, the other children in the nursery did not want to relate to me. The natural instinct of exclusion towards others, if they are different (thrown out of the group), is already present from an early age, it's nothing cultural nor can I look down on anyone for acting naturally... survival of the tribe is above all else, always.

This continued when I was 4 years old in another school, always the indifference of the others towards me or the exclusion from the game, and I always tried to put myself in the middle to play. What I never understood is why the teachers treated me the same way (indifference or active isolation from others - I was punished for a whole school year without going out to the playground after lunch because I didn't know how to peel fruit - every time I passed in front of the IPSE school I remember... but one day they let me go out to play, hurrah, even once when they gave out candy in class, because of a student's birthday, I was left without - at least an explanation? -). Even when I got lost at school, no one bothered to try to find me (it happened to me on carnival day, I met my sister by chance -we are a year and a half apart- and I stayed by her side).

When I was 5 years old I was already in another school and the treatment was already different from the teachers (they took me into account) but there was a problem when I was 6 years old (I was hit by a ball, one of a more advanced grade and I got a cut in my mouth due to the impact), I did not understand what happened, but there was a fuss and a fight both at school and at home.
I had enough of everything, I got tired and then I decided that I would involve myself the least with others, I stopped trying to relate to a certain level and I just stayed in classmates. And so on for the rest of my life since I was 6 years old.

Even so I recognize that life has treated me well, as I have not been harassed or mistreated, they have simply forgotten about me and it is not so bad after all... I am a very free person to do and think what I want and I have traced my life around this, as it did not harm anyone (not even myself, actually I have benefited from this to reach the age of 44).

So you could say that my loneliness comes from the beginning from the refusal of others to relate to me.

// CASTELLANO:

Hay un punto que falta:
El rechazo de los demás a relacionarse contigo. Es lo que a mí me ocurrió desde los 2 años. De alguna manera a los dos años los demás niños de la guardería no querían relacionarse conmigo. El instinto natural de la exclusión hacia los demás, si son diferentes (echar fuera del grupo), ya está presente desde pequeños, no es nada cultural ni puedo despreciar a nadie por actuar conforme es natural.. la supervivencia de la tribu esta por encima de todo, siempre.

Eso continuó a los 4 años en otra escuela, siempre la indiferencia de los demás hacia mí o la exclusión del juego, y eso que yo siempre intentaba ponerme por enmedio para jugar. Lo que nunca entendí es porque por parte de los profesores el trato era igual (indiferencia o aislamiento activo de los demás -me pasé castigado todo un curso sin salir al patio después de comer porque no sabía pelar la fruta-, cada vez que pasó por delante de la escuela IPSE me acuerdo... pero un día me dejaron salir a jugar, ¡viva!, incluso una vez cuando repartieron caramelos en clase, debido al cumpleaños de un alumno, yo me quedé sin -¿una explicación al menos? -). Es que incluso cuando me perdía por la escuela nadie se molestaba en intentar encontrarme (me pasó el día de carnaval, me encontré a mi hermana por casualidad -nos llevamos año y medio- y me quedé a su lado ).

A los 5 años ya estaba en otra escuela y el trato ya era diferente por parte de los maestros (me tenían en cuenta) pero hubo un problema a los 6 años (me dieron un pelotazo, una de un curso mas avanzado y me hicieron un corte en la boca debido al impacto), no entendí que pasó, pero hubo follón y bronca tanto en la escuela como en casa.
Ya tuve bastante de todo, me cansé y entonces decidí que me implicaría lo mínimo con los demás, dejé de intentar relacionarme a un nivel determinado y me quedé en simplemente compañeros de clase. Y así el resto de mi vida desde los 6 años.

Aún así reconozco que la vida me ha tratado bien, pues no he sido acosado ni maltratado, simplemente se han olvidado de mí y tampoco es tan malo al fin y al cabo... soy una persona bien libre de hacer y pensar lo que quiera y he trazado mi vida en torno a esto, ya que no perjudicaba a nadie (ni siquiera a mí mismo, en realidad me he beneficiado de esto para llegar a los 44 años).

Así que se podría decir que mi soledad viene de inicio del rechazo de los demás a relacionarse conmigo.

//CATALÀ:

Hi ha un punt que falta:
El rebuig dels altres a relacionar-se amb tu. És el que a mi em va passar desde els 2 anys. D'alguna manera als dos anys els altres nens de la guardería no es volien pas relacionar amb mi. L'instint natural de l'exclusió cap als altres si són diferents (fer fora del grup) ja és present de ben petits, no es pas res cultural ni puc menysprear a ningú per actuar conforme és natural.. la supervivéncia de la tribu està per sobre de tot sempre.

Això va continuar als 4 anys en una altre escola, sempre la indiferéncia dels altres cap a mi o l'exclusió del joc, i això que jo sempre intentava posar-mi pel mig per jugar. El que no vaig entendre mai es perquè per part dels professors el tracte era igual (indiferéncia o aillament actiu dels altres -em vaig passar castigat tot un curs sense sortir al pati després de dinar perquè no sabía pelar la fruita-, cada cop que pasó per l'escola IPSE m'enrecordo... pero un dia em van deixar sortir a jugar, visca!, fins i tot una vegada quan van repartir carmels per una festa d'aniversari jo em vaig quedar sense -una explicació al menys?-). Es que fins i tot quan em perdia per l'escola ningú es molestava en intentar trobar-me (em va passar el día de carnestoltes, em va trobar ma germana per casualitat -ens portem any i mig- i em vaig quedar al seu costat).

Als 5 anys ja era a una altre escola i el tracte ja era diferent per part dels mestres (em tenien en compte) però va haber un problema als 6 anys (em van donar un cop de pilota un d'un curs mes avançat i em van fer un tall dins la boca a causa de l'impacte), no vaig entendre que va passar, pero hi va haver merder i bronca tant a l'escola com a casa.
Ja en vaig tenir prou de tot, em vaig cansar i llavors vaig decidir que m'implicaria el mínim amb els altres, em vaig deixar d'intentar relacionarme a un nivell determinat i em vaig quedar en simplement companys de classe i prou. I així la resta de la meva vida desde els 6 anys.

Tot i així reconec que la vida m'ha tractat bé, doncs no he estat ni assetjat ni maltractat, simplement s'han oblidat de mi i tampoc és tan dolent al cap i a la fi... sóc una persona ben lliure de fer i pensar el que vulgui i he traçat la meva vida al voltant d'això, ja que no perjudicava ningú (ni tan sols a mi mateix, en realitat m'he beneficiat d'això per arribar als 44 anys).

Així que es podría dir que la meva soledat ve d'inici del rebuig dels altres a relacionar-se amb mi.
 
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J

jandek

Down in a Mirror
Feb 19, 2022
149
I feel like I'm all of the above to some extent.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
4,034
All fair points. But it could also be framed from a slightly more optimistic angle. Having experienced profound challenges can make small-talk unbearable, even though shallow discourse is the very mechanism that enables mainstream people to initiate connections. Or people can be in need of guidance in social situations, particularly in the case of point 1. Or one finds oneself in the midst of a culture or society which one is at odds with, and lacks the means to travel to a more amicable region.

Edit: also, some of those symptoms (low energy levels) are both a cause of loneliness and caused by it. Hence there is a vicious circle that could in principle be broken.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
All fair points. But it could also be framed from a slightly more optimistic angle. Having experienced profound challenges can make small-talk unbearable, even though shallow discourse is the very mechanism that enables mainstream people to initiate connections. Or people can be in need of guidance in social situations, particularly in the case of point 1. Or one finds oneself in the midst of a culture or society which one is at odds with, and lacks the means to travel to a more amicable region.

Edit: also, some of those symptoms (low energy levels) are both a cause of loneliness and caused by it. Hence there is a vicious circle that could in principle be broken.
That more amicable region might just be out of this fucking hell hole. 🤷‍♂️
 
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ColorlessTrees

ColorlessTrees

Stuck
Jan 4, 2022
261
4/4 if chronic "conditions" as they're called are close enough to illness. Debilitating enough to keep me confined to NEETdom, nonetheless.

No energy for hobbies, even ones I want to do, and when I do participate I'm at odds with their respective communities; I'm an outcast among outcasts, it seems. Irl people look at me sideways for not having the usual milestones even if I'm trying to improve, and online 'friends' find a way to patronize me, ghost me, or disrespect me for some reason or another eventually. In the end, it's because I'm abnormal and when I trust someone it comes out. Isolating me again.

It sucks to be abnormal, but at this point social even stringless social connections drain me.
 
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L I F E T O L O S E

L I F E T O L O S E

only you can stop the evil
Sep 18, 2020
465
1 and 4.i'm really weird and i have weirder hobbies.
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,452
tres
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

The only place that allows negative feelings.
Aug 7, 2022
1,515
All of it, plus traumas.

Twin brothers! Let me join the club!
 
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StolenLife

StolenLife

Warlock
Sep 19, 2022
740
All four apply to me. Nice.
 
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A

Alnilam

Member
Aug 29, 2022
90
1 and 3 for me, rip to my oldself and life.
 
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eliza23

eliza23

Member
Aug 10, 2022
29
You are very anhedonic and negative, your hobbies went to the trash bin a few years ago, the few interests that remain are at odds with mainstream ideas. One of your last hobbies is to participate in a suicide forum.

This one applies most to me, but honestly the others kinda do as well. But I never thought I was off putting or weird or odd others told me I was. I was always avoided like the plague no one ever listened to me. People always asked for my opinion then said horrible things afterwards as if that what was they wanted to do all along. No liked that I dressed or acted like a boy. Others hated how I liked climbing trees and playing outside barefoot all the time. Others thought I was to strict but I was just tryna be safe, no one listened to what I said back then. Sense then about 4 different people who I warned to try and be safe in life and don't think to highly of themselves of those 4 2 ended up in the hospital for weeks 1 died and the last one ended up in jail. I told them I had a bad feeling and they never listend, I try not to listen to others but when things like this happy it gets to you, it hurts. I'm always left out and no one cares or noticed when I'm missing because it's normal for me to go missing. Even though all I do is go sit somewhere by myself, only cuz they always tell me I'm not wanted there.
 

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