U

undertherainbow

Member
Sep 21, 2018
80
For me its:
My child
My career as a teacher
My marriage
My family
 
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Sayo

Sayo

Not 2B
Aug 22, 2018
520
Spending time with my partner.
 
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D

DeletedUser4739

Guest
The woman I could have been, life I could have had...if only things had been different.
 
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faex42

faex42

Experienced
Oct 19, 2018
213
Good question but when I started to write but it became too painful to continue. The wounds are simply too deep and fresh.
 
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U

undertherainbow

Member
Sep 21, 2018
80
Good question but when I started to write but it became too painful to continue. The wounds are simple too deep and fresh.
I get it. I died a little inside after listing mine. I just didn't realize that my marriage was on the list
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
The pieces of me that made me a person. Although it's entirely possible that I was born subhuman.
 
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Tragoedia Vitae

Tragoedia Vitae

Experienced
Oct 14, 2018
230
-The loss of my relationship with my mother. Whether insanity or dementia, she has succumbed to it. She is all but dead to the world now. We used to be inseparable, and our fates were linked in many ways. Now we have drifted apart----but I am slowly letting go of my hold on this world. Perhaps when my mind too has been consumed, we will be finally at peace with each other because I will be able to understand her (and everything she has been through) in my heart. Who knows? Perhaps I will follow her into death. Or perhaps I will win the race to the grave.

-I have no intrinsic value to anyone else in this world. If I wish to have any value to anyone, I must fulfill all sorts of expectations, responsibilities, duties, and rules---all things which often force me to suppress my natural inclinations.

-How much of my life I have wasted.

-Advancing my life any further entails a constant, daily struggle for survival. There is always the threatening possibility that I might be dragged under the waves at any minute. I always feel myself at the edge of some awful precipice. And I don't think my mind can take it.

-I don't think I can make any meaningful contributions to this world. In that case, might as well die, right?

-The fact that I have to make preparations for my death with virtually no practical support from anyone I know in real life. Because I can't tell them! And this will never change as long as society continues to vehemently reject the concept of sanctioned suicide.

-The prospect of having to face my fear of eternity.

Etc, etc, etc.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
The last fourteen years
 
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fuckthis

fuckthis

I've made up my mind.
Sep 23, 2018
263
The friend who left me and the potential I had. I have never been so torn over a friendship, I shouldn't even pay any attention to them but I can't stop. It's like some sort of addiction to them. I could be in college right now studying what I want to do and taking that extra step into an industry I'd want to work in but instead I'm doing fuck all and now it's too late.

There's just so many things fucking me over and most of them are inside my head.
 
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Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
The sudden death of my dog. The ache in my stomach over this is so unbearable many time, it feels like a sense of panic. The only living thing I feel I truly loved and felt loved by is gone. That was two years ago and as the time goes by, it feels worse.

Some days it feels as if my desire to cbt is driven entirely by this grief and sense of loss.
 
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BaconCheeseburger

BaconCheeseburger

Comfort-eating
Aug 4, 2018
693
I don't know if I am grieving anything. I know I'm sad about the friendships I've fucked up, but I feel that instead of grieving I just bury them and move forward.
 
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Going Home

Going Home

Specialist
Sep 21, 2018
357
My privacy and my dignity.
 
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bunny

bunny

保管
Oct 3, 2018
364
my childhood
not being believed
being raped and abused
 
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starcrossedfate

starcrossedfate

Passenger
Sep 24, 2018
240
The loss of my health and trail of broken relationships. Anhedonia.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
The sudden death of my dog. The ache in my stomach over this is so unbearable many time, it feels like a sense of panic. The only living thing I feel I truly loved and felt loved by is gone. That was two years ago and as the time goes by, it feels worse.

Some days it feels as if my desire to cbt is driven entirely by this grief and sense of loss.
What if u got another dog? I've had trouble moving on after pets too. I have this terror I might have to give them up for some reason like homelessness or incarceration.
 
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Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
What if u got another dog? I've had trouble moving on after pets too. I have this terror I might have to give them up for some reason like homelessness or incarceration.
Ahhh I'd love to. He was my first dog and I know another one would probably help me heal from him being gone. I share similar fears that keep me from adopting - like if I got another one and had to give them up because my housing situation changed.
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
For me its:
My child
My career as a teacher
My marriage
My family
that list is almost mine exactly. My terrible behavior broke up our little family, caused me to lose my university teaching position, to find another position in my field I had to come to S.E. Asia so I'm now 10,000 miles from my daughter. I'm so sorry you're suffering these losses. I really do get your pain.
 
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