Discussion What are you doing to prepare?

[Trashcan]

I'm thinking October 21, 22, 28, or 29 will be the day. Who knows. I might end up doing it a different time. There is a certain date I really hope to get this done by.

But currently I'm preparing by:

Stopping my medication. I'm at that annoying point where I want to ctb, but am unable to overcome the survival instinct. I have severe insomnia (we're talking staying up 36+ hours with prescription medications to help me sleep no matter how tired I am) and have been given an SSRI with a mild sedating effect to do the job. The prescription is as needed. I'll just stop taking it. The insomnia, worsening depression, and withdrawal effects should be enough to push me over the edge. The depression isn't the only reason I want to ctb. But it's part of it. (It would take a while to explain what got me to this point). It will take a lot to willingly shoot myself in the head. But if the depression gets to where it was before I took the SSRI, then I won't have any trouble.

Writing my note. I'm still unsure of what I will write in it, but I am thinking of what to write.

I will also make sure my room is tidy (it's basically clean but not tidy) and my bed is made. That way when the first responders come in to dispose of my body, they will have a clear path.

Also, making sure I don't give off warning signs. I have come up with a "future plan." This is in case I wimp out, but mainly, if it looks like I'm looking forward to the future and have a plan in place, they won't suspect a thing. Also have a part-time job and am in college which probably makes it look like I plan to live. And whenever I silently cry to myself or am just too depressed to do anything, I stay in my room. They probably think I'm doing homework and don't think anything of it. Also I'm open about most things in my life, but don't talk about my mental health, plans to ctb, or anything like that. They have no idea I have a gun or SN. So to them, it probably seems like I tell them everything and there are no secrets being kept. So far, they don't seem to suspect anything is wrong.

What are you doing to prepare?

 

[Lovemykids]

Pension beneficiary
Rrsp
Insurance
Funeral
Car ownership transfer

Notes for ppl whom I hate and caused me in this situation

Writing diary of my daily life and note for my children to left behind

Email inactive data ownership transfer
Few more things

 

[Duqu]

I've done everything I need except:
-Get DNR signed by dr (though I'm not sure they'll pay attention to this if you attempt suicide and they find you...)
-Write letters to everyone important enough to receive a letter (unsealsed since obviously the police will go through everything)
-Get my will finished up so I know who gets what etc (what I don't sell/get rid of that is)
-Pack (don't want everyone to have to pack up my place
-wait for my cat to die and do it.

I already have all the materials I need for 2 DIFFERENT ways to CTB..I'll probably do both just to be safe.

 

[jake]

for me, the most important thing i am working on is letter to my children. i know that i cannot make them understand completely why this is the correct and rational decision, but i hope at least that i can help them to see that it was not an emotional or misguided respose to some sort of short-term problem or and event that pushed me "over the edge." i want them to know how much i truly love them and that, after years of thinking this through, it is the best (and maybe only) way that i can ensure that they will be able to have the happy, secure, and successful lives that they each deserve. i don't need them to fogive me for this -- i think i truly want them to hate me for it. that is what i deserve, after all. maybe it will make no difference to them, but i do want them to know that i love each of them and that their lives will be better without me being here.

 

[Jon86]

Everything's done and has been done for a long time. I just need to grab the bus to the bridge or fully commit with this noose in my drawer.

It's not something that comes easy to me. I'd say 99% of my suicidal depression is from physical health problems, i'm simply suffering, not mentally unstable. I have a hard time accepting death, in the final moments.

 

[Going Home]

I'm gathering materials and after reading some responses on SS I'm deciding whether or not to leave a note.

I've thought about getting back at everyone especially my neighbors out of Amsterdam, NY and others who pushed me to this but it doesn't matter anymore.

 

[BjartNO]

What are you doing to prepare?

I've booked a hotel room. For the 28th, actually.
However, the problem with having to rely on an hotel room is that when the date comes the impulse might not be there

 

[Tragoedia Vitae]

*sighs* I have a long road ahead of me....

I have to write my own will (including burial instructions) and prepare an advance health directive in addition to a DNR/DNAR/AND order. Maybe I should wear dog tags or a bracelet stating "do not resuscitate" to drive the point home. Then I would have to actually get my hands on some N or something similar. Then I would have to make a long drive just so I could die at the place which I love most in the world. But then I would have to make sure I could be legally interred there as well....not to mention the possibility that I could be interrupted anytime. And then I would have to overcome my fear of eternity, and encroaching darkness....yet there is also a feeling of relief in all this. Better to die than to endure an artificial, torturous existence.

 

[deathoverlife]

in the process of writing letters to the people who matter
done with my will and kept with a friend
all important stuff i kept in my bank locker...and informed the bank to hand it over to the nominee when time comes
waiting for my argon cylinder..expecting it on Friday...so mostly Saturday or sunday
i won't be around till next week end that's for sure

 

[TAW122]

I am waiting for the right moment to put my plan into motion, which means that I'm waiting for the people around me (IRL) to drop their guard, give them a sense of things are going well (so they are less likely to be suspicious, let alone interfere), gather up enough courage, and finally, obtain the item I need to ctb (a firearm). To be a bit more detailed, I am waiting for things to cool down while maintaining a positive front (drops their suspicions), and then when I get my method I will also have an alibi (in the event people around me discover/learn that I have acquired a firearm) so if or when I get asked, I can confidently play it off as a hobby and nothing more. Considering I don't live in a particularly dangerous neighborhood and also some roommates, self-defense would be a difficult alibi to achieve, therefore, the target shooting hobby is much easier and is a valid alibi to give. If I have more alibis or additional good reasons, the better, but currently, I don't.

Then of course, I will also prepare my notes as well as preparing myself emotionally, psychologically so that when the timing is right and once I have my method, I will be able to check out at any time, without warning. The hardest parts for me is acquiring the method without setting off any red flags and then keeping things quiet until the time to ctb.

 

[Battered_Seoul]

Still pissing around with the decision to leave a note. A deranged part of me is clinging to the notion that I can make an overdose appear as an accident.

 

[RM5998]

Things I'm supposed to do:

1. Write delayed emails to send to friends.
2. Sort out my luggage, make it easy to pack up and remove.
3. Delete sensitive material from my laptop and phone.

Things I'm currently doing:

1. Playing XCOM.
2. Watching movies and TV shows I've seen before.
3. Watching Mark Kermode rant about movies.

Yeah, doesn't look very well planned. Hey, at least I have the materials I need to CTB in place.

 

[Lovemykids]

Things I'm supposed to do:

1. Write delayed emails to send to friends.
2. Sort out my luggage, make it easy to pack up and remove.
3. Delete sensitive material from my laptop and phone.

Things I'm currently doing:

1. Playing XCOM.
2. Watching movies and TV shows I've seen before.
3. Watching Mark Kermode rant about movies.

Yeah, doesn't look very well planned. Hey, at least I have the materials I need to CTB in place.

What are you using to write relayed email

 

[jaemus12]

I'm halfway done recording my suicide messages. I need to figure out what to do with my money - either withdraw all of them and leave somewhere or write a simple will allowing quick access to my money. I fucking hate wills because you need witnesses and shit. Fucking dumb.

 

[RM5998]

What are you using to write relayed email

I'll probably use Outlook. I have an account set up.

 

[Lovemykids]

I'm halfway done recording my suicide messages. I need to figure out what to do with my money - either withdraw all of them and leave somewhere or write a simple will allowing quick access to my money. I fucking hate wills because you need witnesses and shit. Fucking dumb.

Few ways you can do it
Make a bank draft to the person you want to give

Send western union to the person you wish to give the money then setup scheduled email to provide mtcn

Write a chèque post dated

I'll probably use Outlook. I have an account set up.

I'm thinking of using boomerang for gmail, tested it and worked well without need to have computer or phone connected