N

netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
Hi all, took me over an year to understand my lonelyness, pain and desire to suicide. I have bipolar disorder. It's appears to be very much related to people who desire to or already did ctb, statistically. I believe that manic episodes play major role in the process of killing you - while being reckless, or by deleting memories of how you hurt your loved ones. And all this is presented to you acceptable and normal as possible. Yes i got hit very hard on the depression episode, whitch lasted for more than a year, or might still be waiting to come any moment. But in my case i used to live for 2-3 years of complete mania, non-stop. I did very extreme and crazy stuff during this period, i was so manic that the only effect metaamphetamin got on me was not to drink coffee in the morning. Yes it was fun, but my loved ones paid the price. I had no idea something was wrong with me till i got the depression.
So what are the craziest stuff any of you with biploar did in their manic episodes?
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: moodygrl, Wolfjob_dayjob and Qdv
G

Gratefulcorpse

Member
Aug 20, 2019
31
Running naked in psychiatric hospital because my sedation meds were super for me. This was shortly after I quit meth and the Xanax I was being fed made me a monster, I would talk shit to people and not remember what I did. It shook my family but that's not a reason to abandon Ctb now is it?
 
  • Like
Reactions: moodygrl and Wolfjob_dayjob
Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
At a swinging club! I had sex with lots of people. Those were the days.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: MartyByrde, moodygrl and netrezven
moodygrl

moodygrl

Member
Apr 25, 2020
68
one of them i remember dancing on a balcony to music in the background and a big storm infront with another crazy girl, both of us believing we are cooking the storm up.

Then alone on the balcony in bathing suits
waiting for Elon Musk to see me from a plane he sent for me..this is is just a small chip
 
  • Like
Reactions: netrezven
MartyByrde

MartyByrde

Experienced
Mar 15, 2020
286
I wish I could write them here. Hell! Some I wish I could remember more of. Damn, I had some fun before I was diagnosed, medicated and learned it's disorders running the show. Now I realize all the damage I've done, big and small, and fear what I may do in the future.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Jojo81 and moodygrl

Similar threads

irregularreconcile
Replies
4
Views
329
Suicide Discussion
denix66
denix66
H
Replies
0
Views
96
Suicide Discussion
hesitation
H